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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » sexual abuse

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Author Topic: sexual abuse
Member # 1590

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I was abused by my older brother from the age of 7 or earlyer to the age of 12 and I am 14 now. I always think what if I end up doing this to my kids or the kids I babysit?(I love kids)But when I think about doing any thing to them I remember all the pain it puts me through and now I dont think about it as much when I am around younger kids cause I dont want them to go through the same pain I did.

do you think I am handling this the right way I think I am but I am not sure.

Posts: 4 | From: Aurora,Colorado,USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

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Well i don't think there's anything wrong w/ you ... But have you been to therapy about this? Have you ever told anyone (police, parents, anyone)?? If you're having the same feelings about other kids that your brother had about you, then you *really* should be talking to someone. That just isn't healthy. I know that people who have been sexually abused are more likely to abuse someone else that way ... and that's why it's up to YOU to break that cycle. Go talk to someone who can help you get rid of those feelings
Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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A couple quick questions:

1) Like Smurf asked, have you had any counseling? That's a very long time for a cycle of abuse, and you certainly need some support.
2) Is your brother still living with you? Has this been discussed with your parents?

Think about those.

All in all, most cycles of abuse stop with someone. If you're aware of the risks, you've worked through your experiences (with some counseling, preferably) and your own healing, and you're simply not comitted to continuing it, you can be sure you don't continue this sort of tradition.

I'm terribly sorry for your pain, Gg.

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1646

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I was raped by a family member about 5 years ago. I have recently had a miscarriage and am having trouble getting pregnant at all now. Can these be related at all?

[This message has been edited by andariel_14 (edited 16 October 2000).]

Posts: 3 | From: TX USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 100

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Maybe yes, maybe no. If you contracted a sexually transmitted disease when you were raped, it could be implicated in infertility later on. It is also possible in particularly violent sexual assaults that damage might have been done to your internal organs that could affect fertility or ability to maintain a pregnancy, but that is considerably less likely. You're going to have to consult a gynecologist about it, basically. None of us are goung to be able to diagnose you in this situation.

I am terribly sorry to hear about your having been abused. I hope that you've gotten help and counseling to help you heal. Sometimes, seeing a gynecologist even this far down the line and being able to ask questions like the ones you are asking us can be healing, too.

Bear in mind that there are many, MANY reasons that people have miscarriages and/or a difficult time conceiving a pregnancy. Only a gynecologist is going to be able to really give you any working idea of what's going on with *your* individual body.

Hanne Blank
Co-Editor, Scarleteen

Start a Revolution -- Stop Hating Your Body!

Posts: 1538 | From: boston, ma, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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