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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » my parents

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Author Topic: my parents
butterfly7523
Neophyte
Member # 636

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ok...my parents and i used to be so close. but now it's like i can't talk to them about anything. at the moment i'm grounded for some reason i'm not sure of. i was coming home from my best friend's bbq yesterday and she started saying things i had to do when we got home. she's like, clean your room, clean your bathroom...blah blah blah. it was like, 10 at night and she expected me to do all this stuff but i was soooo sleepy! and then she accused me of not listening to her because i was looking out the window. i was listening to her. and i'm like, here we go. because this is how it always starts before we get into it. so i started crying because of what she was saying (she called me a selfless bitch..which is sooo far from the truth). so i ran up to my room and started sobbing. my dad pounded on the door and said i was grounded until i learn how to talk to people or something. so i am very very angry because this has happened many times before and i just don't know what to do. i mean, i was depressed (literally) all through middle school but i was a "closet case" because i didn't tell anybody because i didn't need anybody worrying about me. and i'm pretty sure it's well on it's way back. so like, i don't know what to do or say to them when they get home from work today or anyday. i don't know...but any advice would be greatly appreciated...
Posts: 4 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cyena
Neophyte
Member # 1055

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Have you tried talking to them about how you feel? Sometimes it helps just to sit down with your parents and tell them that you are having a difficult time communicating with them and you want to find a way to get along again. Maybe your parents are stressed out about something and, unfortunately, they are taking it out on you. I know that has happened to me a few times and I have just learned when to "go the extra mile" and do a few things around the house so that they won't get mad at me. Try talking it out first...you might be surprized in the end. I hope it works out for you though...I know it's rough when there is a wall between you and your parents.
Posts: 2 | From: Pekin, IN USA | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Aja Valderamma
Activist
Member # 519

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Print out what you wrote to us and put it on the kitchen counter for them to read when they have coffee in the morning. They probably have no idea they are causing you heart ache. It should open the door to rational dialog.

If they see your upset enough to seek support on an inter-net web site then any caring parent should be able to recognize there is a problem.

You have to understand, it's hard parenting maybe sometimes your parents get 'so sleepy too' but they still have to go on and do all the things adults do to keep things going. they need more from you.

By showing them this post they should open their eyes that grounding someone doesn't remedy a problem it just perpetuates it.

If you think talking to both gives you unfair odds. try approaching one at a time.

And ya know something. If you clean your room a little everyday. You don't have to use a bulldozer every couple weeks when it gets out of control. Your maturing. So it's time to act like a young adult, and be more responsible. Then you will EARN your parents respect and they will trust you more in everything you do!

Good Luck

Aja


Posts: 204 | From: Capr Coral, Florida. USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Inchanter
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Member # 932

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my father is insane and evil and much more and my mother is pissed off at me all the time. you think thats bad you'd be amazed at the type of things that have happened to me, if my father calls me gay or cruel he is in a very good mood.
Posts: 6 | From: toronto,ontario,canada | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nemovirginympho
Neophyte
Member # 1208

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my rents and i used to be in a spot like that, mainly my mom, when my stepdad moved in. they tried a lot of different parenting techniques which i thought where rather crule. IE- hitting, grounding for long long periods of tiem without understandable reason. (which resulted in depperession and low self esteem, and a whole lot of anger and frustration.. which i got over)I tried a lot of different things. i don't know what worked but now my mom and i are super close, i tried to make us close like i thought people should be totally open and honest, and it was the wrong thing to do.. so i just let it all go and said, i know who i am, and my mom will love me no matter what, i got help from friends with that.. then things just got perfect. sometimes they snap. but i can talk to them now.

all i really can say is do your best to maturely get through this. and just remember that this is not the end of the road things will get better


Posts: 16 | From: NYC. NY. USA | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SilverD.A.9
Neophyte
Member # 1258

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Be there done that! My mom is always calling me a lieing bitch and stuff but that's not why I'm typing this.... I started to take out everything on my boyfriend who finally just asked me what the heck was wrong...I just spilled to him and felt so much better soon after I confrunted my mom on how I felt... She of course said that I didnt know what I was talking about but slowly everything started to change...We're not as close as we used to be (partly because she made me break up with my boyfriend) but everything is a some better... Even if your parents dont listen to you just tell then how you feel...that may help! If you want to talk more you can just Email me at nizkiku9@lycos.com.

Best of luck!
D.A.


Posts: 9 | From: Hawthorne, Fl, USA | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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