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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Abuse and Rape Survivors (Page 4)

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Author Topic: Abuse and Rape Survivors
Bobolink
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That's not abuse, that's ASSAULT AND BATTERY! I strongly suggest you go back to your teacher or guidance counsellor and ask to be put in touch with the child protection agency in your area. They can advise you of the options available. You should not have to endure this.
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BruinDan
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x

[This message has been edited by BruinDan (edited 09-25-2002).]


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Moth
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quote:
Originally posted by BruinDan:

Being hit with belts, pushed into walls, and shoved to the ground does not make you "melodramatic." It makes you the victim of child abuse and battery. Nowhere in the penal code does it state that you need to have "marks the next day." Bruises or other types of physical evidence do help the investigation, but are not necessary to file charges or to conduct an investigation.

Mm, thank you. ::sighs and wrinkles nose:: I don't wish to file charges. My father went into therapy and is on several types of drugs. He had several psychological disorders (hence the violence), and hasn't been violent since going on the drugs (ecxept a couple of times when they tried to take him off!). Consistently, I have been the only one he acts violently against (our personalities clash), and I know that my entire family would be much MORE traumatized with a lawsuit than with maintaining the status quo. It's just me that is a bit messed up over this. ::wry grin:: It's nice to know that it really WAS abuse, in kinda a twisted way. I was always told it wasn't. Now I can begin to work through it . . . hopefully.

One last request: I've been looking all over for websites that offer support groups for abuse survivors, but all the ones I found have been sexual abuse survivors. Do any of you know sites for the rest of us? Thankee.

------------------
Signed, Moth.

"Nothing in Life is to be feared. It is only to be understood." -Marie Curie


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Bobolink
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Moth, being the only person in your family being assaulted does not make it OK or any less of a crime.

If you are looking for support groups, You might try these:
http://www.yesican.org/chat.html
http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/overcomingabuse

However, no matter how your family may be psychologically traumatised by your reporting these assaults, that doesn't justufy in any way your suffering from physical trauma as the victim of these assaults.

[This message has been edited by Bobolink (edited 05-13-2001).]


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Moth
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quote:
Originally posted by Bobolink:

If you are looking for support groups, You might try these:

. . .

no matter how your family may be psychologically traumatised by your reporting these assaults, that doesn't justufy in any way your suffering from physical trauma as the victim of these assaults.

[This message has been edited by Bobolink (edited 05-13-2001).]


Thank you very much. I'll be looking into all this more. It's such a relief to hear this from you . . .

------------------
Signed, Moth.

"Nothing in Life is to be feared. It is only to be understood." -Marie Curie


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Heather
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Moth,
You're also welcome to write me in email about it if I can be of help. having been through physical, emotional and sexual abuse, I know how hard it is, and we can explore some possible solutions for you and support systems if you like.

So, if you need/want to, feel free: heather@scarleteen.com

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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Cate
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ok,last week, my friend (who is 12) told me that her 17 year old brother friend, last summer came into her bedroom while she was sleeping (well half asleep) and put his hands in her underwear and touched her breasts. She hadn't told anyone and felt like it was her fault. I made her go to the school counselor since she was kinda afraid to tell her mom. Well the counselor told her mom and everything getting better with each day. She is feeling a lot better because she has her family, me and a couple other close friends, the counselor. I also told her about this GREAT site and she told me she feels good to have some place to post her feelings.
I made her tell some adult because my mother was raped by her stepfather when she was 11-12. She didn't tell anyone for about 20 years. It caused her a lot of pain.

SO 2 ANYONE WHO IS GETTING HURT, TELL A CLOSE FRIEND, ADULT, PARENT, COUNSELOR, TEACHER, SOMEONE!!!!!

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Cate!


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Anna
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I really don't Know how to start these things(this is my first one), btu i thought I needed to get this out ofr two reasons
1.) Just in case it ever happens to anyone else
2.) To help me

Last summer My brother's friend came into my room and touch me all over thinking I was not awake, I wanted to get him out of my room a.s.a.p so i keep rolling over. It happen 2 times then one night my friend came over (she is tall and beautiful) and in the middle of the night he came up and grabed her leg. She did the same thing I did too.

I never told anyone until monday (expect my BFs). I went to the counselor she told my mom/family and now he is not aloud to come over at all my parents did not call the cops because he had droped out of school and has nobody that cares about him(I STILL HATE HIM).
PLEASE SPEAK OUT!

MY brothers was in the hospital wed night because he passed out in school and hit his head really had they had to take all kinds of test including a blood test. He is going to get a cat scan on saturday night (they still don't know what's wrong with him)

On wed day night I had a softball game and my two best friends play on the same team as I do and they had known My brother was in the hospital (i did not know this) and they did not even tell me .( some friends) Any way I keep trying to ask them why they did not tell me and they alway get all mad at me but I think I should be the one mad at them!!!!!

As you can tell my life suck so could some one please anwser back PLEASEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

One more thing at least 10 boys have ask me out this year and I have said no to all them because of what happened! When someone bumps in to me (BOYS) I freak out I don't know what to do!!

------------------
Anna!


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Anna
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TELL SOMEONE NOW WHAT HE DID WAS WRONG!!!!
TELL A COUNSELOR I DID!!!!!

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Anna!


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lostcat
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i can't believe i'm actually willing to talk about this, but here i go.

when i was a sophomore in high school, i was an outcast in every sense of the word. i was the only middle class girl in a town full of million dollar houses, where everyone's dad was a ceo and everyone's mom was a homemaker. i was at the top of my class, but no one ever acknowledged it. my talent lied in visual art, but my school had an incredibly weak program, leaving me to fend for myself, besides the every-other-day art classes we were forced to take. i was shy, quiet, and chubby.. the quintessential geek girl. anyhow, at this time of my life, being popular meant more to me than anything. i would have done anything to get into that group.. everything they did seemed so glorious, so perfect.

i was trying to be someone that i wasn't. i stopped "dressing weird", my own funky style that i'd invented in eighth grade, and i started following the popular girls around. i lost 20 pounds, and was beginning to be known as a "hot girl" around the school. still, i didn't fit into this popular group like i wanted.

one day, in the middle of winter, one of the juniors, a hot, rich, superultra popular guy asked me out. i'd heard cracks about how he was just joking around, or how he was just using me for sex, but since i was dying to be a part of this group, i eagerly accepted.

so we made plans to go to the movies one night. he picked me up at my house, but started driving the car toward his house. i asked him where we were going.. the theatre was in the other direction. he replied that we were going to his house to "have fun", but i didn't really know what that meant.

anyway. so, we went to his house instead. i was uncomfortable with that, i told him so, but he just said "it will be alright". we went into the house, and i sat down on the couch. he went and locked the front door to the house, and sat down next to me. before i knew it, he'd positioned himself on top of me, and was unzipping his pants.

i kept saying that i didn't want to have sex with him, but he told me to quiet down and said that it would be over soon, and pulled off my pants. at this point, i was crying hysterically and screaming and telling him to stop and get off of me, until he put his hand over my mouth. i tried to push him away, but this was impossible.. i'm a small girl, he was a huge 6'5 guy. he held me down, and he penetrated me. i had never done ANYTHING beyond kissing & hugging before, and it hurt a lot. the world just kind of stood still for that entire time. i don't remember how long it was, i don't remember if he said anything. everything was silent and time didn't seem to move at all.

after that, i remember that he got up and walked to his room. i was laying on his couch, partially naked and completely humilated. i put a great deal of value on virginity at the time, and i had just lost mine, and it wasn't my choice. (now, i see the time that i lost my virginity as the first time i had sex on my own will.)

that night, i called a friend to drive me home. i told her that my date had gotten too sick to drive me. she believed it. i never reported the rape. to this day, only a few people know it happened.

i became incredibly depressed for the following year or so. apparently, this guy came back to school, told everyone he had gotten another feather in his cap, and i was met with glares as i walked into the building everyday. i turned to self mutilation, i cut myself almost everyday. i think i would have eventually committed suicide, or at least attempted it, had a guidance counselor not noticed my art work taking a theme of sexual assault, and telling my parents, and getting me sent to a therapist.

for the longest time, i thought it was my fault. i thought that there was something i could have done to stop it. if i hadn't have worn that little skirt and tank top, it wouldn't have happened, i thought. (now i know that rape has absolutely nothing to do with that, but i didn't at the time.)

even now that i'm in college, i still face problems from the rape. i'm currently with an amazing man who understands, but still, it's hard. i choke up if i'm held down even a little tiny bit during sex, even if it has NOTHING to do with me being forced into it. i don't think that i have that normal of a sex drive- i still have a lot of emotional problems that surround sex, i've had flashbacks to the rape during sex, even if it's the most completely loving thing in the world. i've came a long, long way from where i was after it all happened. i've came a long, long way in a year- last year, i know i wouldn't have typed this all out.

wow. in the time it took me to compose all of that (about 30 minutes), there were about 15 women raped (according to statistics that say 1 woman is raped every 2 minutes), and those are only the reported ones, and so many rapes (including my own) are left unreported.

i think it's so important to remember that if you are a rape or abuse victim, it is NOT YOUR FAULT. rape is violence, rape is about using power.

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"i need to wash myself again to hide all the dirt and pain, 'cos i'd be scared that there's nothing underneath"- radiohead


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Moth
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Lostcat:

I kinda wanted to reply, but I don't know what to say. Only that you're horribly brave . . . and I'm sorry. ::wrinkles nose:: I've had a friend or two raped. You're amazing for coming through all that. I kinda like Hemingway here: "The world breaks us all, and after, some of us are strong at the broken places". I sound like a hallmark card. Thank you for sharing . . .

------------------
Signed, Moth.

"Nothing in Life is to be feared. It is only to be understood." -Marie Curie


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Anna
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Lostcat

The same thing happened to me last summer only he did not go that far ( he was to scared And I am glad he was to) But it still hurts inside to think about it.
I am going through the same thing you are the only difference is that I am going through it now, and I have know one there to guide me.
I want to cut myself but I am not good with pain (I am baby). All my friends are mean and have tons of money (I am middle class)
so they make a lot of cracks about how big my pool is and about my grades (there dropping and no body will help me) They also make fun of me because if a boy even pokes me I will freak out. Then they won't stop until i tell them why I don't like it.Have only told one boy).

And i don't know what to do? Can some one please help me.

------------------
Anna!


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lostcat
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(((((anna)))))

sweetheart, i know what you're going through right now. (well, i know that's usually not a very helpful thing to say, because no two people ever feel the exact same way about something.. but anyway.) you need to tell someone whom you really really trust, and think will help. good places to start are close friends and family members. school counselors are usually a good option too. if you have absolutely no one like that that you can talk to, or even if you do, and just want a point of view from someone who has been trained in rape counseling, the RAINN foundation is a great great organization (I know this from experience), with counselors available all the time at: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). it's a free call. also, i've never tried it, but RAINN now has online counseling, available here.

i know it's so so hard. self mutilation is never the answer.. it's only going to make it worse. it's perfectly fine to cry. a good cry often helped me, i found. what you're going through is perfectly normal, and you will get better in time. and if you ever need to talk, i'm (as are a ton of great volunteers) right here.

((( sending lots of hugs & love your way )))

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"i need to wash myself again to hide all the dirt and pain, 'cos i'd be scared that there's nothing underneath"- radiohead


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starrykiss
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*LAUREN
almost the same thing happened to me.

My brother's friend tryed to but he was too scared (I thank god for that). it was last summer and now if any boy/guy/men touch me I FREAK OUT I mean it's really bad so now I don't trust any guy. Out of all the boys this year that have asked me out I say No and when they ask me out I get flash backs and pain every where he touched.
I just wish I could forget but I just can't.
Your not alone.



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starrykiss
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*LAUREN
almost the same thing happened to me.

My brother's friend tryed to but he was too scared (I thank god for that). it was last summer and now if any boy/guy/men touch me I FREAK OUT I mean it's really bad so now I don't trust any guy. Out of all the boys this year that have asked me out I say No and when they ask me out I get flash backs and pain every where he touched.
I just wish I could forget but I just can't.
Your not alone.


------------------
starrykiss*


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Anna
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((Lostcat))
Thank you I told some one and now things are starting to get better I don't feel so lost any more.

So thanks again*You really helped

------------------
Anna!


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MsShelley
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I am a rape survivor! I was raped roughly 200 times between the ages of 10 and 13 yrs old. I am now 22 yrs old and living day by day as a rape survivor. Granted, it is not easy, but for me, it's managable. A rape survivor/victim may never forget or remember what has happened to him/her. Every relationship that I have, is effected by my past trauma. Counseling has done a wonderful thing for me. I do not go to a counselor to tell me what to feel about all of it, but to help me sort out those feelings and deal with them, instead of running/hiding from them. If anyone needs a friend, don't hesitate to email me. God bless all of you.

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God is my strength, with Him, i will not fail!


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cupcake
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well i'm a rape survivor and an abuse survivor, and a cutter too.

When I was little, my brother, who is 10 years older than me, was always getting beaten up and stuff by my dad, who used ot hit us all, and once, on vacation, he shoved my mom through a glass door,and it all went everywhere.
Then when i was 5 or 6, my brother would always babysit me. He started with touching me, and then he full out raped me 3 or 4 times. My most vivid memory is of me, curled up in the corner, with nothing to keep me warm, shivering, crying, with blood and cum all over my legs, while m brother slept on the bed.
I told my mom, after i saw one of those videos in kindergarten class, the ones about your private spaces. She didn't believe me.
It happened again when I was 12, he moved in with us again, and he kept trying to show me my so called "happy button". I asked my mom after that why she didn't believe me the first time, and she said that she did, she just couldn't let anyone know that she did because it would hurt my brother's self esteem.
I thought I was foing okay after that until just the last year. We were away at a camp, and my boyfriend was raped by my best guy friend. He chose to take it to trial, and i was called to testify. Eventually my best guy friend chose to plead guilty, but I was a basket case.
My boyfriend and I broke up, we were both too messed upt o keep going. And I started going out witha new guy.
Things were going really really well until one night.
My brother came over to fix our computer, and my mom was outside in teh garden. He grabbed me, and held me down, and tried to force me to have sex with him. When I wouldn't he took something out of his pocket, and I felt a burning. He took a knife and sliced open my left breast. I have a big scar tehre now.
He kept telling me, I'm going to rape you again and again, and then I'm going to send your dirty body to your so-called boyfriend so he can do it too, cause you know he wants to.
It hurts so much t think about it, and now I have this reminder of it sitting right tehre on my chest, all red and gross, and I have big slashes right across my wrists, which were my own fault.
My bf keeps trying to tell me that it wasn't my fault, but i'm not sure I believe him. So much of what my brother did can be justified.


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Bobolink
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I beg your pardon? Assault with a weapon and attempted rape is justified? Those are both criminal offences. Please reconsider and talk to the police. Your assailant is a clear and present danger to yourself and others.

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We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

- Albert Einstein


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cupcake
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yes, it can be justified. about a hundred times over.
i don't want him to hurt other people, but i am not going to go to teh police. that's not an option.

but tehre's nothing that evr gets rid of that dirty feeling. except pain. and i've tried everything. i just keep cutting now, because every drop of blood i lose is less of him inside me.
but i am so torn because my bf gets upset when he sees the bandages, and the scars.
I never want to let anybody see the scar on my chest. It's not entirely healed yet, it still bleeds and pusses in places. but you can see the scar running all teh way down.

But i don't want ot let my bf close to me, especailly afetr what he said. I ean maybe he's right, maybe I am dirty, maybe I am worthless. maybe that's the only reasn my bf is around, like my bro said.
so that he can rape me later on.


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Heather
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You know, sweets, there are things that can help with those feelings. Really, there are.

Rape support counseling is a BIG one, and in your case, finding some support that also addressed the special circumstance of incest would be very important.

Too, doing something so you know that your borther gets the help he CLEARLY needs, and you are protected from him in your houusehold is another one. I would sugggest talking to a counselor at school to initiate that.

And those are the two best places to start:: with addressing your own needs and making youself safe. Now, if you don't want to do either of those things, you are limiting your own options, because they ARE viable options. But it is up to you. However, if you choose not to do those things, the help or support anyone else can give you, and how much you can move on, is very limited.

Choice is yours, honey. And I know it's all hard, I've been there. But sometimes the hard stuff that is on the path to making everything better is a lot easier than the easy stuff that just makes you feel worse. And with sexual abuse or assualt, my experience has been that you're going to have to deal with it directly eventually if you want to move on and have a life, so you can do that now, or languish in the meantime until you do it later. Personally, I'm a big supporter of taking care of it and working to make things bgetter NOW, especially if you're endangering yourself, which it sounds like you are.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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starrykiss
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Cup cake you need to take this to the police then if you do then maybe you might not be so scared because he would be able to hurt you any more at least not physcilly.
Please do this for all of us.

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Rio
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Sometimes I start feeling alot better and then I start feeling bad about the "whole thing" again. I hope that made sense. Does anyone here ever feel like that?

Thanks,
Rio

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"There are a lot of hidden nerds. I'm aware of the exciting man in Trent The Nine Inch, but I can see the nerd in him, too. People who become the front runners often used to be outcasts or loners." - Tori Amos


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cupcake
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*raises hand*
yes, that would be me

would you liek to join my club?

sorry, I'm in one of those happy crazy type moods right now.


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bad_kitty3
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I have never been raped, but I would just like to say I think you are all really brave, courageous people, and I read your stories and you are all such amazing people, and I wish there was something I could do to take away the bad memories and make you feel better. I have a lot of respect for you guys, and you should feel really proud of yourselves, because you've made a big step being able to talk about it. You are all such special people, and I would hate to think that you would have these memories festering in your mind. Please tell someone, or anyone who reads this - counsellors can really help, and I want you to feel better, because you don't deserve to have this playing with your emotions and your mind. If any of you want to talk anytime, feel free to contact me I would love to hear from you, and I can offer my best support and advice.
Take care
*hugs*
lotsaluv
xx

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Loneliestnumber
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It took me almost 2 hours to read through all the posts on this thread and the only thing I can say is, as has been echoed many times by numerous people, how in awe I am of some of you who have shown the strength and courage to come forth. In such situations, I'm not sure if I could do the same.
I've never been the victim of abuse, sexually, physically or emotionally, for which I am extremely grateful.
My current BF, however, is a victim of sexual abuse. The details are sketchy still, I don't press him to tell me what he doesn't feel comfortable with.
Reading through all of these tales and the responses reminds me, more than ever, why I want to go into Psychology. In some small way, if I can help another person as much as you all have helped each other heal through this thread then I will be happy. Afterall, I've always said my biggest fear in life was dying without making a difference.

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"Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run!"

C'mon, visit my website. You know you want to.
~Revelations.In.Black~


Posts: 38 | From: Somerset, KY, USA | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cupcake
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oh boy i am very wierded out.
i went out with this guy tonight.
he didn't ask me to give him manual sex and oral sex, he TOLD me to.
And i never really said no. I hesitated, and he kept pushing my head down.
I relaize now i should have flat out said no and everything, so it's my own fault, but now i feel all icky and dirty and i want to cry.
how do i make thsi feeling go away?

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Munchy
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The only advise I can give you is just to realize that the next time something like that happens, you CAN say no. Even if it's with the same guy. It took me a long time to realize I had the right to say no to guys, including a guy I had said yes to before (the fact that I had a new boyfriend that I didn't want to cheat on helped with that, though). Remember that whatever happened to you in the past didn't take away your rights to your own body, or give those rights to every man that wants them. Good luck to you. Have courage.

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Munchy, the Munchkin, the Monchichi


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LilBlueSmurf
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Ya know guys ... It's not really about saying no. It's about not saying yes. You didn't say you wanted to have sex of any kind, and yet you were forced into it. That's not right.

Partners should be going into a sexual experience knowing the other partner is willing ... and that means both partners saying "yes, i want to do this". If that doesn't happen, the sex shouldn't be happening.

But maybe taht's just the way i see it ... ?

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*~*Smurfie*~*
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"When I am alone I am not aware of my race or my sex, both in need of social context for definition."
~ Maxine Hong Kingston


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cupcake
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well i defintely didn't say yes.
I was mostly just too astounded to say no, i was compeltely caught off guard, and now i just feel like puking and scrubbing myself.

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Munchy
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Smurf's right. That's the way it "should" be. But when you're the survivor of rape or sexual abuse, your personal boundary is often taken away. You don't feel you have the right to say no to someone, and they will often take silence for "yes." That's not the way it "should" be, but that's the way it often is. That's the way it was in my life until I realized that I DO have the right, the choice, and the responsibility to say no whenever I feel like it. Cupcake, you've got a long road ahead of you, but you can make it through. Really, you can! You can't listen to or believe anything your brother tells you, especially about yourself and how men see you. He's only telling you these things to keep you scared of him. He probably thinks all guys are as sick as he is and clearly can't see what a wonderful person you are and what a wonderful life you can have when you make it through this. Don't prove him right. Don't let him run your life!! Don't pick up where he left off and keep beating yourself up. Don't do that for HIM!! And don't let him do it to you anymore! I hope you're getting help for yourself so that you can see what I'm saying is true. Good luck.

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Munchy, the Munchkin, the Monchichi


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glitter695
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Cupcake, thats exactly what happend to me when I was a freshman in high school (now I am a senior) I went to one of my ex boyfriends friends house, and he started to get all funny on me, and he put his hands down my pants and just started touching me. Then he took out his penis, and told me to *sux it* I was like I dont want to, Im scared. He was like just do it NOW, so he took my head and kept shoving his penis in my face. I was scared and I didnt know what to do. I kept saying "NO STOP" but he didnt listen. After he was done coming all over the place he was like dont mention this to anyone because it will ruin his rep.

So of course I never did tell anyone. When I got a new boyfriend I didnt tell him. I wouldnt even french kiss my boyfriend. So of course he dumped me, but we remained good friends. This year was the first year I told him what happend. He was shocked, and he wasnt suprized about the guy who did it.

My boyfriend now, (of 2 years) most of you know my love Bob. He was different, he took it to my level. I still was scared to kiss he waited, when I was scared for manuel sex, he waited, when I was scared for oral sex, he waited, and yes he waited for me for sexual intercourse also. He waited until I was comfertable with myself and my body. The first time I told my boyfriend about what happend was when he were discussing oral sex. It was very hard for me to get it out, since he was the first person I really ever told. I was scared that he might think of me as a slut or something else. But he didnt, he understood. Thats what so wonderful about my love.

This is the first time I am telling it to thousands of people. It tough but I know that I am not alone when I say it. I think it made me stronger.

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*~*~12/3/99*~*
Bobaroony & Erica Bearica
<3 love forever!

*~*Scarleteen Advocate*~*

[This message has been edited by glitter695 (edited 01-14-2002).]


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cupcake
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see this isn't my bro. THAT is a whole other realm that i moved past a little while ago.

this is something entirely new. and it sounds almost EXACTLY glitter's experience.

quite honestly, i feel like crap right now. i just want to puke, and i just feel all gross.

i'm also kinda involved with this other guy, who's been my close friend for a few years now. i told him today. didn't go over very well. he wasn't mad at me, not at all, i think he was more mad at himself that he wasn't there to stop it.

It's not really that it's ruining my life or anything. It's just this really really ickky memory and this urge to puke whenever i think about it.

To make things worse, he honestly doesn't think he's done anythign wrong. And quite frankly, I'm not really up for talking at this point.


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Heather
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Cupcake, let's see if I can be of any help.

I think the first thing to recognize is that in cases of serious abuse of any sort, unless you're talking decades ago, the effects of these things tend to linger with us a lot, even when we don't see them.

For instance, it's likely you feel the way you do now not just because of this most recent experience, but because of what it brings back from your other experiences. All that gets compounded, and it can become really overwhelming.

So, first things first: based on what you described, you were sexually assaulted by this peron. In all honesty, if he refuses to discuss it, I personally would stop trying to discuss it with him, and I would also give serious throught to filing charges against him for sexual assault, because that is what it was. Not only for your own well-being and protection, but to protect others from this happening to them. Just give it some thought.

The next thing I'd do is maybe write out a list of what you can do to give yourself some safety in the next few years so that this sort of thing does not keep happening. That doesn't mean this is your fault, because it isn't. But what I do mean is that when you already have survived sexual trauma, it's pretty important to keep yourself from more of it while you really process it all, and I'll tell you, I was assaulted mmore than half my lifetime ago, and while I think I've got it pretty darn together, I'm also not kidding myself in thinking I have no residual baggage from it, because we all do.

So, things like: going on group dates, not going to parties alone, maybe even taking some time without any partners or dattes. Basically, giving yourself space to process first before you load more on top of it, because it doesn't sound to me like you really DO know none of this was your fault. Which it wasn't. Lemme be plain: someone who is going to forcibly ppush your head to their genitals WITHOUT your consent is also unlikely to even listen were you to have said no.

Are you in any sort of counseling or group therapy right now, honey? If not, I think it'd be a really good idea.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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cupcake
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Yeah, you always tend to be good help, Miz Scarlet!

Today, at least, I'm a lot calmer, and starting to see things a lot more rationally. <phew>

I'm very sure I just got very very scared because of everything that has happened before.

It's not taht he doesn't want to discuss, I don't, it's not exactly happy conversation, he just claims to not remember it.

Court really isn't an option. 2 of my friends went last year, for a sexual assault case against another friend of mine, and it did nobody any good, it just made everybody involved more upset.

And I've never really seen the appeal of talking to someone. Tried the psychologist thing, that really didn't jive, and dthe psychiatrist managed to make stuff worse by trying some new technique.

I'm reluctant to believe that this was done out of malicious intenet at all, more some really really bad judgement on both our parts.


Posts: 433 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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