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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Abortion Support

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Author Topic: Abortion Support
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I've noticed that in a few posts where some women have talked about getting pregnant that when other posters start to ask questions, the original poster seems to drop out of sight.

I am hoping that is not because of a fear of being pummelled for having an abortion.

Have you had one? If you have, it is O K A Y. It's legal, there are plenty of good and responsible reasons to have one, and here at Scarleteen, we are fully supportive of reproductive choice.

If you need some support for abortion decisions, or just need to tell your story, this is your place, and it's a safe one.

(PLEASE NOTE: This thread is not here to debate abortion. It is here to provide support only. Thanks.)

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 03-05-2002).]


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sunflower
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I have not had an abortion, but I would be interesting in hearing the views and experiences of someone who has. I have always believed that abortion sometimes is the only route to go and that it takes a strong woman to make that choice. I have taken a couple of my friends to an abortion clinic and stayed with them afterwards, and they always seemed to have an emotional time (who wouldn't). So please feel free to post. Good idea Miz Scarlet.
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Brandy
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I was eleven weeks pregnant when I found out. I had gotten really ill a month earlier, and thought it was the flu because I was still getting my periods regularly. I was three months pregnant when I had the abortion. My parents and boyfriend supported me the entire time but I was terified. I had a lot of complications in my second month and was constantly going to the hospital for tests and having internals done. I think the most emotional experience for me was when I had to go for an ultra-sound, and I remember laying on the bed, wanting to see what my baby looked like on the computer screen. I figured it was the least I could do, knowing that I wasn't going to keep it. I felt so guilty most of the time, I hated myself for taking something away from someone who hadn't done anything wrong. And although I got pregnant due to contraception failure, I still felt that it was my fault for getting pregnant, and feeling guilty was my punishment for deciding to have an abortion.

When the day finally came to have the abortion, I was a mess. The surgery was to take place on the second floor, and my parents and boyfriend had to wait on the first. My mom came up with me, but she wasn't allowed to stay. When she went to leave, I started crying and begged her to take me with her. I was so scared. I was worried about getting the IV (I'm terrified of needles), and worried that something would go wrong during the surgery. I didn't want to be alone. I remember going through five barf pans and four heat blankets, before I finally made it into the surgery room. I remember the nurse putting some kind of drug in my IV, and even though it wasn't supposed to, it made me pass out. I woke up sitting in a lazy boy chair in a room with about four other girls who just had the surgery done also. About an hour later I was allowed to go downstairs to see my parents and my boyfriend. I was relieved that it was finally over.

I was really emotional a few days after. I stayed up in my room and cried most of the time, not believing what I had done. But with continued support from my family and my boyfriend, I've learned to deal. I have some bad days where I think about it, and even though I know that I've made the right choice, sometimes it still really hurts. I know that my pregnancy was accidental, I know that I will never make that mistake again. It's too much to go through to do it over.

I believe in abortion, but I don't think it should be taken for granted. I know there are a lot of women out there like me, who are simply not ready, and find it to be their only choice. I knew that I wouldn't have been able to give my baby what it deserved, because I wasn't physically or emotionally ready to have a child, and give it all the love and care that it needed. I believe that the first time can be an accident, but anything after that you have to wonder if it's from being carless. I've learned a lot from this experience, and since then, I've been very careful. I'm not going to get pregnant again until I'm ready to have a child.


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HotGrrl99
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Some of my friends have had abortions, and it always seems to be a terrible ordeal for them. The whole concept of dealing with the issue, with whether or not you are making the right decision, how it's gonna affect you later, or affect the relationship with your boyfriend, your parents, or who that baby might have been, etc., is almost overwhelming. Then you have to deal with people who find out and will put you down because they may not be in favor of abortions. I myself am pro choice, but it's terrible to see what some of my friends have had to go through when they exersized that option.
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kythryne
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I'm going to bring this one back up. Anybody need to talk?

Please keep it respectful and supportive, okay?

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Kythryne Aisling
Scarleteen Advocate

"The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform."
-- Alfred Kinsey


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Stargazer23
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I think that sometimes when women get abortions, other ppl look at them as if they are heartless to be making that decision. I don't think they take into account how much emotion goes into the decision. I, have never had an abortion, never even been pregnant, but, when we were 17, my best friend got pregnant, and decided, with myself, and her mom's support, decided that she was not ready, and the pregnancy should be ended. ((Plus, the baby's father was quite the jerk. When she told him she was pregnant, he was like "Get rid of it.")) So, she got the abortion. We're 23 now, and she is still not over it. When she thinks about it, that is. She lets the "what-if's" in sometimes. I don't think that it should have gone differently. She was not ready to be a mother. She's still not. But, I think she will always regret her decision.
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Zae~Zae
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I had an abortion at sixteen years of age. It was the most terrifying thing in my life. I was so scared. It was painful ( had a surgical abortion) and I never want to do it again. I'd just prefer to have my child during my next pregnancy, which I hope will not be any time soon.

My pregnancy was a result of a condom failure. It broke. I didn't find out until it was too late to get my hands on some Preven. I kinda enjoyed my pregnancy. I got a little "attached" to my child. I talked to it and everything.

My mom wanted me to have the procedure. I was crying the whole thing. Afterwards I was depressed for a long time. I cried at nights for reasons that I didn't even know of. I missed my baby. I prayed to God for forgiveness and asked Hi to take care and watch over my child until the day I could be with him again. I was about 2 1/2 months when I aborted. It was something that'll live with me forever.


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ConfusedGirl1
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I have never been pregnant but I have had quite a few "scares" in my time. I personally don't like the idea of abortion, but I do know that you never know what you will do until you have been there.

It makes me so mad when people diss or down girls who have had an abortion. Unless you have been there personally, you don't know what it is like and judging people is wrong. Until you have walked in those shoes you don't know what it is like to have an unwanted pregnancy.

I know I don't know much since I haven't had one, but thats just my opinions on it.

Thank You


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Milke
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Confused, it's a wonderful thing when people can be tolerant of people who make choices that don't necessarily agree with their beliefs (but are right for the people choosing), and you've just shown that attitude here.
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luscious_leslee
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i haven't had an abortion but i feel that it must be a very hard time for those who have had one. i don't see myself ever having one, but i have no problem with those that do. it takes a lot of courage and strength to do that.
recently someone i know has become pregnant and is keeping her child. i know for a fact that she will not be able to care for the child properly, she has talked about having an abortion and yet still hasn't taken action. it's hard for me to understand why she would consider it as an option, but even harder to understand why she won't have it done.
althought abortion is not an option for me, i feel that it is ok for others to have it done.

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Bobolink
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I wonder if abortion clinics and counseling centres don't put enough emphasis on post abortion support. From what I have read on these boards, it is not a traumaless experience and some women do need support after the procedure to help them get on with their lives.

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We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

- Albert Einstein


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kythryne
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Bobolink, I agree, post-abortion counseling is often inadequate or overlooked altogether.

I just did a bit of looking around online to see what other resources might be available, and I found one site that looks quite excellent. It's completely neutral when it comes to matters of pro-choice vs. pro-life, and it looks to be very compassionate and informative.
http://www.afterabortion.com/

And Confused, I also want to thank you for your post; as Milke said, it is indeed lovely when people can be respectful of the decisions made by others.

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Kythryne Aisling
Scarleteen Sexpert

"The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform."
-- Alfred Kinsey


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Lilfran14
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My best friend as i type now is having an abortion, and its with my brothers kid. It doesnt seem all that scary for her, and she seems vey confident. I wanted to go with her but her aunt is going to go, i wish amanda wouldnt do it, but i know she is not ready nor is my brother, so i belive that she is maing teh right decision, and ill be with her as long as she needs me for support.

at the time same she found out she was pregnantm i thought i was, and when she brought up abortions i acaully did think about it, so i support her in anything she wants to do.

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~*Katie Frances*~

Why is it that in the
land of the free, home
of the brave, why is it
that i still feel like a
slave.?"

Life is too short..Live it well and with the people you care about.. Don't ever let your work become your life... Go out there and live a little before its too late** Dr. Greene ER


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glitter695
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My friend today is getting an abortion. I am pro-choice, but today I felt weird about the situation. She is 3 months preg. and is getting one. I just hope that she made the right decision FOR HERSELF!! I supported any choice she made.

My sister got an abortion before. She was depressed forever, and she always thought about *it*. She has a new baby now and doesnt think about it as much, but I know that its on her mind.

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*~*~12/3/99*~*
Bobaroony & Erica Bearica
<3 love forever!

Monk N Bear~ Best Friends Forever! ~Luv ya babe!

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devilkinder
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Hey.... let me try this again, I seem to be having problems, sorry:> If any of you have had experiance with violence at abortion clinics, and wouldn't mind me putting them into my term paper, could you please post them here? Thank You very much~*~

And I was wondering if im allowed to post a web site in here that I find interesting? (its on abortion)

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*~*Kiff*~*


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kythryne
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Devilkinder and everyone else, please keep in mind that this topic is for supportive discussion ONLY, so if anything is posted here that is specifically anti-abortion or otherwise hurtful to those who have had abortions, it will be deleted.

As for your link, unless it is specific to the subject of abortion support, it would not be appropriate in this discussion. If you have doubts as to the appropriateness of the site, you may post the link in Site Help and Service and one of the volunteers will check it out and let you know if it's appropriate or not.

[This message has been edited by kythryne (edited 05-11-2002).]


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devilkinder
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oh my gosh im so sorry, im not asking because im promoting the violence at the clinics. I do not promote wiolence at abortion clinics, at all. I was going to use the stories of people who have been affected by this violence, not people who are commiting it. It was going to show how peoples lives have been affected by this violence. I was going to use the stories to teach my class how wrong it is, and what it does to the people they hurt at the protests. And i truely wasn't trying to hurt anyone whose has had an abortion.

And once again i seemed to have messed up :< like i said im really sorry for coming off as anti-abortion.

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*~*Kiff*~*


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kythryne
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Devilkinder, no worries; thanks for clarifying what you're asking about. I was mainly trying to head off anyone who might feel compelled to take the opportunity to slip in an anti-abortion tirade, as has happened before in this thread.

What you're asking about is perfectly okay. It's not so much that you're coming off as being anti-abortion as that abortion is a really touchy issue around here, and that we've had serious problems in the past with this thread being turned into a really nasty flamewar. Again, thanks for clarifying.

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Kythryne Aisling
Scarleteen Sexpert

"The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform."
-- Alfred Kinsey


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devilkinder
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Ok I'm guessing no ones ever been attacked or had any bad experiances with violence in front of abortion clinics,or maybe its too much to talk about. No problem, I can still imagine how it feels.... Thanks:>
*Muahhh*

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*~*Kiff*~*


Posts: 30 | From: Somewhere, i'll call when i know~*~ | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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