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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Sexual Harrasment ~ My experience

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Author Topic: Sexual Harrasment ~ My experience
Eponine
Neophyte
Member # 376

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I don't know if you have ever been in my position. I don't know if you have ever had to put up with this kinda talk. All i know is what happened to me.

It first started when i was in 5th grade. I was pushed on the side of the bus by a boy and on hte whole ride home he said dirty things to me. I screamed for the bus driver to help me but i got in trouble for talking loud. The next day i couldn't go to school cause i was getting so sick to my stomache.

Lets just say that isn't an experience you want to go throught. The next time it happened it wasn't so bad. it still made me scared but it was in a different situation and i had more control. I was walking my dog and the boy who lived across the streat were saying things like, oh Eponine, you are oging to f*** matt tonihgt. ya know. snuff like htat. It was 8th grade and i had just moved across the country to a new house. No one was home in my house and i was scared cause the one boy had a key to my house incase someone got locked out. i spent hte next month locked in my room.

The most recent time it happened was the worst. I was sitting in a geometry class doing my work. The teacher had arranged the classroom so that the good influence was sourounded by not such good influences. This time most of hte guys in the class cornered me and said stuff. Basically i felt like every single shread of dignaty i ever had was just taken and thrown away. i later reported this incident to the teacher. i had to. My mistake, or so i thought, was leaving the room in tears. I was forced to tell and adminisrtator because my boyfriend said so. The point is, this time it was different. Alot of my friends got behind me. Two guys wanted to set the *evil people* on fire. My boyfirend wanted to beat them up and i just felt protected for the first time in my life. i still suffered form it thought. it was kinda the last straw for me and i broke. I was already anorexic and suffering from depression. i had never talked to a shrink cause my sister was in thearpy and like i didn't want to intrude on her condition. If something like this happens to you get the help you deserve. i can't stress that enough, going down this road is not fun, nor is it easy. i almost lost alot of friends because i didn't seek the professional help i needed. but that is besides the point. Right now, about 8 months later, i considered myself healed. I no longer get out of control downs, i am happy again.

My basic advise to anyone going throught this is, you will feel pain, you will feel alone, and you will feel like you are hte **** on the bottom of some guy's left shoe, BUT, IT WILL GET EASIER, the pain will eventually go away with the help of others. Your pain will heal you will see the light. for a while i spent time in a dark evil place, but after some time, i did get better. And remember, sexual harrasment can happen to guys just as easy as it happnes to girls. i have watched it happen. Just because you are a guy doen'st mean you dn't have feelings. It doesn't mean you can't be hurt. You do matter. No one has the right to hurt other whether it be physically, emotionallly, or spiritally.

peace love and bottled water

~Eponine

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peace


Posts: 8 | From: Allentown, PA, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Rhiannon
Activist
Member # 319

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*Hugs*
Um, first of all...I'm very glad people supported you and that it was put to a stop!!!
A similar thing happened to me in Biology my sophomore year of high school...it also got ended, which was great. My Bio teacher (later my Anatomy teacher) and I became really close, in fact, she's more like a second mom to me, and since then we kind of joke about how much we both can't stand the "ring leader." But believe me, I know how painful it can be while going through it.

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But that's just my two cents..


Posts: 45 | From: CA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
HotGrrl99
Activist
Member # 105

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You know, girls put up with a lot of this sexual harassment crap in high school. Guys are always grabbing our boobs and asses, saying loads of sexual crap to us, etc. My mom said that if any of this stuff took place in an office, it would become a law suit for sure! I don't understand why so many of my friends think this kind of behavior from boys is cute or flirting or even a compliment to girls!
Posts: 384 | From: Malibu, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Eponine
Neophyte
Member # 376

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Yello,

I know what you mean though. Alot of the girls who were in my class were mad a ME for like telling on the guys and getting them suspended. It is also really hard to explain how it feels to some people who just don't understand how much it hurts you.

peace luv and bottled water

~Eponine

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peace


Posts: 8 | From: Allentown, PA, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TRINITY
Neophyte
Member # 337

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Trust me I know how feels to go sexual harassment. I've been there to my freshmen year of highschool. Coming to a bigger and better school then having a guy grab my *** for a about a week straight. I know how it is walking into class the next day and have people whispering saying stuff behind your back and having your "freinds" not stand up for you. To make it worse he was big shot wrestler. And to have someone who wasnt in there social crowd stand up themself and slap a sexual harassment case in there pimply face was like one of the 7 deady sins. I'm going to be a junior and I'm still getting shi* for it. The things they say and do there not hurting me anymore they are just making me stronger. All I gotta say is stand up for yourself even though it seems really hard. They dont know what you are thinking, they act as if they are God, and know what? there not.


'' DONT TAKE ANYONES SHI* ''

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Posts: 8 | From: Portland, Oregon | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Eponine
Neophyte
Member # 376

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Your right! No one should ever have to put up with that. It seems that alot of people assume that people in the certain crowds shoudl be allowed to get away with that type of stuff. The fact of the matters is it shoudl be totally opposite. If humans ever want equal rights we shoudl treat everyone with the same respect, no matter what race, shape, sex or color. Everyone in the world is beautiful in their own way and instead of hurting people for it, we shoudl be embracing it to make tomorrow be a well rounded socitety.

that is just my opion though.

peace love and bottled water

~Eponine

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peace


Posts: 8 | From: Allentown, PA, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Beppie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 94

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When I was in 8th grade there was a guy who was something like that. He made things pretty hellish in some of my classes though. One time, one of the classes I shared with him was going to be split into two, and I asked the teacher if he would move that guy to another class. The reaction that I got from the class was that I was the bad one for asking that. As I look back on it, I should have handled it differently- I probably should have taken the teacher aside and told him what was happening, and asked if he could be moved because of that. Knowing the teacher, if he had known the extent of the situation, he probably would have done something. However, I know that not all teachers are like that, and that many are just willing to turn a blind eye.

What I often wonder is if those guys (and girls) who are like that actually realise what they are doing. Maybe they never even stop to consider that it could be hurting somone- to them, the people they hurt are just. . . objects for play, I guess, objects that aren't seen to have feelings. Or maybe they do realise it- but it doesn't matter, it's completely wrong and demeaning whichever way you look at it.


Posts: 2710 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Eponine
Neophyte
Member # 376

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In my experience, the person who was the most ruthless and spiteful and mean was like that to alot of girls who were not in his crowd. This was the majority of the school. When i ran track, halfway through he started to pole vault. He would say things to other girls as they ran by but thankfuly he wasn't allowed to even look at me or he would be suspended again.

My theory is they like to have power over people and they use fear to get that power. They attack their "victims" and get them to their weakes, or in some cases strongest, moments. They probably do it out of insecurity.

thaz just my thoughts

peace luv and bottled water

~Eponine

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peace


Posts: 8 | From: Allentown, PA, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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