Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Is this rape or peer pressure?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Is this rape or peer pressure?
Elizabeth Lee
Neophyte
Member # 78504

Icon 12 posted      Profile for Elizabeth Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My best friend who is a gay guy, he normally likes to have a relationship before sex but sometimes he'll have random hook ups. A long time ago, (Idk how long) one of his guy friends who has asperges syndrome and "obsesses over things", he asked my friend to have sex with him and he said no. The guy with asperges kind of begged him. He was begging him a lot of times like "oh please do it! please please please!" like every time they saw each other (and they were just friends!). Eventually my friend gave in and had sex with him just to shut him up. If he gave in, is that rape or consensual but just peer pressure?

--------------------
I am homo! Hear me roar! Elizabeth Lee! Elizabeth Me!

Posts: 14 | From: NY | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That is not certainly consensual.

That is coercion you are describing, which in most states is classified as sexual assault or abuse.

Consensual sex is sex which occurs when everyone involved is freely consenting, which means not only that they have the capacity to consent, but also that when they say no, it's accepted and respected, not pushed until someone is worn down.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Elizabeth Lee
Neophyte
Member # 78504

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Elizabeth Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Do u think I should suggest him to call the police?

--------------------
I am homo! Hear me roar! Elizabeth Lee! Elizabeth Me!

Posts: 14 | From: NY | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Elizabeth Lee
Neophyte
Member # 78504

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Elizabeth Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Do u think I should suggest him to call the police?

--------------------
I am homo! Hear me roar! Elizabeth Lee! Elizabeth Me!

Posts: 14 | From: NY | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Is this something you're just learning about now, or something you've known about for a while? I'm curious about whether this question is something you and your friend discussed, or something you wondered after hearing his story.

I'd start by talking to your friend about how he feels about the situation and what he thinks he might want to do. Going to the police is a good course of action if he wants to report. You can be most supportive to him by affirming that this was coercive sex and that he has options should he choose to take them.

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Elizabeth Lee
Neophyte
Member # 78504

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Elizabeth Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'll give it a shot.

PS heyyy we have the same last names!

--------------------
I am homo! Hear me roar! Elizabeth Lee! Elizabeth Me!

Posts: 14 | From: NY | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3