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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Shame and Regret After Sex:

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Author Topic: Shame and Regret After Sex:
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 36725

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Everyone has those moments in life sometimes when we make a decision based on what we think we want or think is right for us in the moment, but then afterwards for whatever reason we look back on the experience with shame and regret. Sometimes we’ve made the leap more quickly than we were comfortable with ourselves … while other times these feeling are pushed on us by what outside sources deem is right (places like school, family, friends, church, etc). Having any type of consensual sex is certainly no exception to this rule.

If you’ve consented to any type of sex and dealt with these feelings afterward, you are not alone! Where do you think your feelings stemmed from? How did you begin to work through these feelings and what kind of effect did they have on your decisions after this point? If you’re still having some trouble working through these feelings, what can we do to help?

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
May Day
Member # 39174

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sometimes.. not often.. i feel kinda ashamed for sleeping with my second partner. He was a new friend and a rebound from me leaving my abusive partner. After being treated so poorly it was stuck in my head that even though that first relationship was done..shouldn't sex still be happening? even if i don't like it or want it? This guy turned out to be horrible too, really messed up.

So sometimes i feel disappointed in myself because i didn't have any respect myself or what i valued, regardless of the fact that i was reacting to being sexually abused for months.

Most of the time though, it doesn't concern me, i know what was going on and i'm rebuilding my sense of self-worth. I can also recognise that the head space i was in wasn't something i created, but it's something i got out of by myself. It's really hard, but i think i can be proud of myself for doing that, for recognising these were people i didn't need or want in my life and choosing not to know them anymore.

Posts: 172 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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