posted
I have a question about ethics and masturbation, it's something that's been bugging me.
Is it legal/ethical to masturbate to a photo of a girl my age (mid teens), who is NOT nude, but has a bathing suit on or something? It would be a photo thats posted publicly.
Posts: 5 | From: somewhere | Registered: Jan 2009
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As far as ethics go, This tends to be all about personal values. In other words, what you are comfortable with and feel is okay.
Personally, I don't think that we can control how an image of us -- or some other representation, like our writing, our art, things we say -- is interpreted by another person, or how it makes them feel. We also cannot control what people masturbate to.
Since it's already on the public record with the government from some testimony I gave way back in a pre-trial hearing about online material and its use, no sense in not mentioning that as a very literary young person, I loved all the work written by the Bronte sisters, and some of it was my masturbation fodder. Our art is pretty serious stuff, and I have no idea how Charlotte Bronte would have felt about my 13-year-old self jilling off to her finely-crafted art, but at the same time, once we put something out there, again, we can't control how others see it or use it for themselves. Might how I internalized and used that work have offended her? Maybe not. Maybe. But at the same time, I don't see anything wrong with my having used it that way, either.
So, how do YOU feel about it?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63668 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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For some reason, the ethics of it bugs me. Since that's the case, I probably won't do it anymore. It just makes me feel uncomfortable, like I'm treating the person as an object rather than a human being, when very clearly, they are human beings with feelings, beliefs, and morals themselves.
It's a tough situation....
Posts: 5 | From: somewhere | Registered: Jan 2009
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posted
Well, it sounds like something easy enough to remedy. In other words, if you choose NOT to do that, it's not as if you're facing some big potential loss of some kind.
This is one of those things where your call is going to be the right one. Based on what you're saying, it does sound like ethically this isn't okay with you -- mostly because you feel that when you are looking, you are looking with an objectifying gaze, which may or may not be the way any given person is looking at a given photo when masturbating with it, but you say you are, so -- and you'd probably feel better making different choices, or perhaps just having masturbation fantasy be something in your head, rather than represented in an image.
Of course, it should probably be mentioned that sometime you may find a situation like this that does feel more right. For instance, we might look at a photo while masturbating of someone we DO see as a whole person and are in relationship with that evokes both feelings of arousal and love, and be "using" the photo to evoke all those feelings and not be objectifying them.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63668 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
I've been thinking about something similar, do you think it's wrong to fantasise about having sex with somebody when you haven't asked them if it's ok? I don't really have an issue with it, I wouldn't mind if somebody thought about me while they were masturbating so long as they weren't somebody substantially older than me, ie if it's ok for them to date me agewise and they aren't in a position of authority over me like a teacher or a support worker then I don't have an issue with it, I just used to hang out on radical feminist websites a lot, and I am one, but contrary to the views of many posters on those forums I don't really think that sexual fantasies about real individuals are wrong, just like I wouldn't think it was wrong if I wanted to imagine hanging out with somebody and us having a great time playing video games or playing the guitar or whatever. I fantasise about others as whole individuals, when I have a crush on someone I tend to think about them while I'm masturbating sometimes, but I've never meant anything aggressive or dominating by it. Sorry if this is just rambling, thoughts anyone?
-------------------- Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see. Posts: 840 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
I'd really like if someone would respond to my question?
-------------------- Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see. Posts: 840 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
Personally, I don't see any reason that would impact that person in any way. It's perhaps a bit like asking if it's okay to think anything at all about someone without asking them first, no?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63668 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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quote:Originally posted by yoda6574: I have a question about ethics and masturbation, it's something that's been bugging me.
Is it legal/ethical to masturbate to a photo of a girl my age (mid teens), who is NOT nude, but has a bathing suit on or something? It would be a photo thats posted publicly.
It depends upon person to person.It's all depend on your self respect.If you respect that girl on photo then you shouldn't do that bad stuff. But if you don't have any good feelings towards that girl then you do anything with the photo of a girl wearing swim suit.
[ 06-29-2010, 05:16 AM: Message edited by: orca ]
Posts: 1 | From: new york | Registered: Jun 2010
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posted
I'm trying to understand this statement. Are you saying that sexuality and respect are mutually exclusive? Why would it not be ok to fantasize about someone sexually if you respect them? Why would you want to fantasize sexually about someone you didn't respect?
Is it that if you don't respect the person, it's ok to "use" and objectify them?
What is arousing about "doing anything with the photo of a girl wearing swim suit" that "you don't have any good feelings for?"
I'm really confused by your statement. Please help me understand.
posted
Yeah I'm really bothered by what henry just said. That sounds a hell of a lot like objectification to be. And how is masturbating "bad stuff"??
Posts: 219 | From: Indiana | Registered: Mar 2010
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posted
Jill, in answer to your question, I feel that it's ok to fantasize about anyone as long as you DON'T tell them, unless you know it's someone who would be comfortable with it.
And as for the age thing- haven't we all fantasized about someone who it would be inappropriate for us to actually have sex with? Like all the actors/actresses than would be way to old for us in real life (and possible creeped out at the thought of an underage person thinking that way about them)? But it's ok, because we're not running up to George Clooney screaming "I thought about you in the shower last night!!!". I'd say the same would be true for any real life person.
Posts: 430 | From: United States | Registered: Apr 2009
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