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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Why Have Sex?

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Author Topic: Why Have Sex?
Wise Janet Weiss
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(This may be in the wrong forum)

About Sex, Why do we have it?

Other than to have a baby, WHY do we have sex?

Does it improve a relationship?(no)
Is it just fun to do?(?)
Does it improve your trust in your boyfriend?

(sorry if it's in the wrong forum)

~Cynthia

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Heather
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(I think this is as good a forum as any. Nice question -- let's just remember though that those of all sexes, relationship models and orientations post here, so not everyone who has sex is having it with a boyfriend, nor is pregnancy even an issue for many people having sex at all, eh?)

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Wise Janet Weiss
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Oopps, sorry, was writing through my point of view, I'll keep that in mind next time.
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000
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it's fun. Not having had a long-term bf, I can't really respond to the rest of that. I think it's often a biological need though -like how when you're hungry, eating feels oh-so-good and probably it does make plenty of people feel closer to their partner.
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cool87
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Here's MY personnal point of view on that.

About Sex, Why do we have it?

I personnally have sex because it feels good, makes me feel good and relieves tension. I could compare it with playing sports or taking a walk. It makes me feel good after and part of this is because of all the chemicals it releases in my blood and the release of the tension after and during it.

Does it improve a relationship?(no)

I personnally don't rely on sex to improve a relationship. In some cases, it can improve it but there's also a lot of other cases where it changes nothing to the relationship or does the inverse of improving it. So, for me, I don't expect sex to improve a relationship that isn't going particularly great at the moment or a relationship that went wrong, whatever.

Does it improve your trust in your boyfriend?

Really, for me, I normally have to trust my partner enough BEFORE engaging in any sort of sex with him although I did make some mistakes in the past. But I think it can improve the thrust in your partner a little bit more after but the trust for me have to be there also before.

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LucysDiamonds
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I'm actually in an ongoing discussion with an asexual friend of mine who doesn't understand why I would want to engage in sex/what I find enjoyable about it. Quite frankly, yes, I have sex because it feels good and it's fun. While I would not engage in sex solely to up the intimacy in a relationship - there would already have to be a lot of trust and intimacy in the relationship (not just physical intimacy, either!) for me to engage in sex in the first place, like cool87 said - I think that if done at a good place in a solid relationship, sex can increase intimacy and make for a more loving relationship. Note that it doesn't always, and it should by no means be used to try and "fix" a relationship, as has been pointed out already.

Also, while I haven't engaged in casual sex, I don't think that I would be entirely opposed to it. I think that trust/intimacy is less of an issue there, and that in that situation, sex would primarily be just satisfying a desire - iheartdc put it very well. It's my unofficial opinion that sex feels good because if it didn't, nobody would want to have it and the numbers who did just to have kids would decline gradually, and then the human race would die out. [Razz] (Just kidding... mostly.)

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katherose
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Fun to do, feels nice.
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Alea
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I can't answer why we have sex, but like other posters, I can answer why I have sex.

I don't have sex because it's physically arousing, feels good, or really anything like that. I'm sexually active because I love and trust my partner, and I want to share everything with him - including my sexuality. If all I wanted was the physical, I'd masturbate. I personally find sex extremely emotionally fulfilling, and enjoy the closeness that it builds between my partner and myself.

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kluekozyte
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There's something undescribably wonderful about physical intimacy - not just penetrative sex. When it comes out of emotional intimacy in a trusting healthy relationship, it can add a lot to the connection between two people. Besides, it's great fun, and it happens that the safest and most fulfilling way to have that fun (I think) is within a relationship or at least between two people who trust each other and know each other on some level.

Does it improve a relationship?
It can't save a bad one, but I think it can make a great one even better.

Is it just fun to do?
Yes.

Does it improve trust?
Intimacy is very intimately connected with trust in a relationship, so while I don't think it necessarily improves trust, and you certainly shouldn't engage in sex because you don't trust your partner and you want to trust him/her more, it may serve to cement the trust between two people and make a more powerful connection than there was prior to intimacy.

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LilBlueSmurf
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Wow ... You just summed up my feelings on this better than i ever could, klue. Thank you.

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