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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Patron Saint of the denial

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Author Topic: Patron Saint of the denial
Djuna
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...huzzah to everyone who recognises that song. [Smile]
Anyway, I'm thinking about stopping going to church. I just feel like a hypocrite going because I really don't agree with anything the Church stands for (apart from human rights and the bible). I mean, my views are different on contraception, abortion, masturbation, co-habitation, all the -tions basically. Oh, and homosexuality. [Smile]
(By the way, for those that might don't know, I mean the Catholic Church. just realised I hadn't said that yet).
A lot of stuff bugged me for a while, like seeing a video of Pope John Paul II going to Africa, seeing so many people dying of AIDS, then making a speech telling them to resist the temptation to use condoms.
Like hearing letters from our archbishop read out condemning people who live together while not married.
Like my priest organising a pro-life demonstration outside an abortion clinic.
Like being told we're not ALLOWED to read the Da Vinci Code or go and see the film. Like being patronized with sermons telling us that the Da Vinci Code is not true, or claiming that people reading the Da Vinci Code are choosing to believe that over the Word of God. We're not. It's just a frigging good read.
Here's the big problem: my parents. My mum went to a convent school and everything, and my grandparents on my mum's side were strict Catholics. And my mum has taken to telling me that my grandfather would be 'spinning in his grave' over trivial things like the state of my room. My dad isn't Catholic (but is Christian), he's not too strict on his own but my mum makes him 'present a united front' ie bullies him into a bad mood to make him stricter. That's another story though.
Other, slightly smaller problem: I'm on the reader's rota at church, and due to read twice in the next 3 weeks. I probably can't get out of those, and if I leave before about November, it'll mess up the rota. Also I'm about 25 years younger (at least) than the other readers, and the only person to sign up in at least a decade. I'm not sure exactly how long, but certainly at least that long.
As it is, though, I've been dreading getting one of the misogynist readings to do, because I'd have to refuse to read it.
Finally, there's no way of undoing my baptism. The Church will always count me as one of the 1 billion who they can claim support their views to the letter. I wasn't old enough to make the decision for myself then or at my confirmation at 10, and it seems that I'm not allowed to make an informed decision now. I'm even stuck with the confirmation name of Paul, even though I now know him to be one of the most misogynist people I could have picked.
I want to stress that I still do believe in God and Jesus etc., I just feel my religion is something for me personally. I've just got no idea how to stop going to church. There seems to be no way out.
(Sorry this was so long, by the way. Rant over.) [Wink]

[ 09-10-2006, 02:35 PM: Message edited by: smileyjoseph ]

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ďIn a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I donít know what I am. I donít know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.Ē

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
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quote:
Finally, there's no way of undoing my baptism. The Church will always count me as one of the 1 billion who they can claim support their views to the letter. I wasn't old enough to make the decision for myself then or at my confirmation at 10, and it seems that I'm not allowed to make an informed decision now. I'm even stuck with the confirmation name of Paul
Well, baptism isn't something that physically changes you, so there's nothing that needs to be "undone".

And as far as I know, your confirmation name has no legal status (unless you've been using it on legal documents), so you're not stuck with it.

The church may still claim that you are a member because you were baptised, but I doubt that people outside the Catholic Church (and many people inside it) will believe that having been baptised means you must support all the church's views.

[ 09-11-2006, 07:16 AM: Message edited by: logic_grrl ]

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"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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Djuna
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No, I mean I feel like this was done when I couldn't stop it. I remember now that I actually thought about not being confirmed, but couldn't see a way to get out of it so thought nothing more of it. I completely forgot.
And although it's not physical, it's still something that was done to me. Like the TV reporter hostages recently, it was a huge deal that they were forced to convert to Islam. It's something that will be with me for ever. And although I'd probably have myself baptised at some point, I'd have liked it to be my choice.

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ďIn a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I donít know what I am. I donít know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.Ē

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wobblyheadedjane
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Well, look at it this way: Baptism isn't, nor never was, allegiance to a institutional entity like the Catholic Church, or the Anglican Church or whichever earthly church. It is about your link with God, though. So if you believe in God and simply not the RCC, well, undoing your baptism isn't necessary. There's a lot of discussion between different denominations about whether baptism is better at childhood or adulthood, so it might be worth it for you to look into.

I sympathize with a lot of your 'growing pains' about your faith, so I'm happy to weigh in on my experiences with different faiths. Remember too, that one of your topics was closed because theology (as much as *I* love chatting about it [Big Grin] ) isn't the ken of Scarleteen. Try seeking out seminaries where you can chat with theology students who might not have as vested an interest in keeping you in the Church as your priest might.

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Unlucky at cards; lucky at love.

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Djuna
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Thanks, I'll try that. And I'm sorry, I forget sometimes that these boards are just for sexuality stuff. [Smile]

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ďIn a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I donít know what I am. I donít know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.Ē

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bluefreak44
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Just a tip: If you still believe in God, and with some of the basic tenets of Christianity, you may want to try another church. I don't know that you'll find a community that you completely agree with (I agree with most of the teachings of my church, but not all), but you may find a place where you feel more comfortable, and where you agree on enough of the important things to want to stay.

Although I'm pretty conservative, I don't think I would recommend staying in the church if you agree with so much. I know people who don't know what they believe but attend a certain church because they inherited the habit. That just seems to be a waste of time to me.

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Djuna
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Thanks for the advice bluefreak, but I think I've had it with organized religion across the board for now. I'll probably always be a Catholic if anything, but I'd want things to change before I was happy to attend church again. Like for the Church to step down over the contraceptives thing.

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ďIn a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I donít know what I am. I donít know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.Ē

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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