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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » sexual images

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Author Topic: sexual images
reigh
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Hi I'm a guy and I have questions in my mind and no one to ask. I can remember when back as far as the ftfth grade being very curiose. I'm 22 now and a few years ago I started looking at photos. I like some pornographic stuff it turns me on other stuff and other stuff just seems corny and dumb. Is it ok to be curiose?

When I start a healthy relationship with a girl how do I tell her I've seen other girls naked? I like girls who are a concerned about strong and negative sexual images. I wonder if I am worthy of girls who think this way. Do any of girls have these same thoughts & curiosities? When do I tell a girl what I've seen? Will it hurt her to hear and should I just leave it general or tell her what all I've seen? Is it normal to tell her I want to do some of the things I saw like giving oral sex or should I just leave it a fantacy.

I want to be open in my relationship I just fear if I am I will never have a relationship. As it is I'm so tied up inside I can barly hug a freind let alone kiss a girl have I ruined myself? That is partly by choice because I have held on to a fantacy/thought of waiting till my marrige cerimony for my first kiss. I am open though and if I find physical touch would be appropriate I would do that for a girl. I feel very good about waiting just afraid how abnormal I may be. I hope I can figure this out. What do people think about sexual images?


Posts: 52 | From: Kennewick, wa, usa | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bobolink
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No one has come remotely close to establishing that viewing porn causes anything other than boredom. But curiosity about porn is very common. Here is a good read:

Looking, Lusting and Learning - A straightforward look at pornography

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We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

- Albert Einstein


Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CrimsonCriminal
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There is a strong difference between thinking and doing.When you want to tell someone you have looked at pornography and had certain thoughts, might consider these factors:
Is the person you're in a relationship with from a strong religious background or do they have any strong moral beliefs that certain sexual practices are wrong?

How casually do they talk about various intimate activities? How do they react to them when they see them on tv or in real life?

What do they define as negative sexual images? How liberal are they (eg, their stances on certain sexual practices and as to what's okay and what's not)?

Oh, and don't worry, a lot of people out there are fairly liberal about this and wouldn't have any problems if you tell them, but that doesn't mean you shoudln't watch what you say to whom.



Posts: 105 | From: Australia | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
reigh
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I am a christen and ussuallu find myself liking other christen girls. Honestly the subject doen't come up much. I will have to let any girl I will ever be physical in any way with about me before leading them on. Honest open comunication in my future with wemen is nessisary to me. If I'm going to hurt somone I love though I will be celibate. It's the line bewteen curiosity and lust maybe scarlet has a definition of Lust? The artical I was refered to helped thanks B.
Posts: 52 | From: Kennewick, wa, usa | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
coolestdesignz
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cristen? is that new or something?
Posts: 203 | From: Laguna Niguel, CA, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
reigh
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I was just sayign don't know what our stance is in gerneral sorry for generalizing.
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smilee_kylie
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I think its good for a guy to have a bit of prior knowledge because then he knows what he's doing and what to expect. But thats just me. Personally, as a girl, I don't think its good for a guy to get too obsessed with porn. But for curiosity's sake, i think its fine.
Posts: 58 | From: Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
reigh
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I have been thinking a lot about why I'm so worried about this suject. What I seeing is I really don't know what other people think about nude images and sexual depiction. My paranoia is probable because more and more I find my curiosity satisfied and now I find most if not all of what I've seen as unarousing. I now wish I had never been exposed myself to it because what I have learned is that real intimacy in all of its nervouseness and akwardness and true sharing is much more what I want. I hate the most of what I've seen and so I assume others will hate me. I hope I can leave it behind and that it has not been my outlet so long I'm addicted because what I really want more than any of it can be as simple as a hug or a kiss from somone I know cares for me and someone I can share and give my love too. I hope that doesn't come off as corny because it has taken me a long time to really see that. I think when I'm mature enough things will work out.
Posts: 52 | From: Kennewick, wa, usa | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
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quote:
I hope I can leave it behind and that it has not been my outlet so long I'm addicted

Pornography is not physically addictive .

Like anything else, whether it's knitting or jogging, people can get compulsive about it, sure.

But it's not going to "ruin" you or "addict" you in any way.

Yup, a whole lot of people find that mainstream pornography can be very unarousing and dumb, and/or object to what they feel are stereotyped portrayals of sexuality. They'd rather see more diverse and positive portrayals of sexuality.

That doesn't make you a bad person for having looked at it.

There are plenty of TV shows that I find incredibly dumb and annoying, but that doesn't mean my mind is polluted because I watched them a few times .

quote:
Is it normal to tell her I want to do some of the things I saw like giving oral sex or should I just leave it a fantacy.

Hey, maybe it's her fantasy too .

It's fine and normal to express your feelings and desires in a sexual relationship - the key thing is to be willing to listen to and respect the other person's feelings and desires in return. Maybe this is something that your partner will be happy to do, or maybe she won't. Communication and negotiation is the only way to go.


Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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