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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Sex EQUALS Pregnant!!!

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Author Topic: Sex EQUALS Pregnant!!!
CMTFlovesHAH
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Every time I try to look up some information about teenagers having sex or the percentages, anything, I get bombarded with anti-sex talk. I don't know how many sites I have gone to that say and I quote, "By having sex you are making a hidden commitment to the child that results. The purpose of sex is to create a baby. Therefore, by having sex you are saying, "I am willing to care for the baby." It makes me feel guilty for the feelings and these urges I have to have sex. I love my boyfriend very much and we both made a commitment to each other that we were to have sex with condoms every single time. I am not ready for a baby by any means! Why do these people try to scare us????? Should I feel guilty? I am just glad I can come to scarleteen where they believe that no one should be pregnant if they don't want to be. And I don't! Also I read I quote, "This comes from the October 1996 issue of Scientific American magazine: Six out of 10 women having abortions used protection. What that says is two people who have protected sex have a pretty good chance of pregnancy as well." Is this true????

Posts: 76 | From: NC, USA | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KittenGoddess
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Well, first of all, I'd point out that that article is pretty darn old if it was published in 1996. To be honest, when you're reading statistics, only stats within the last 5 years at most should be trusted...any older than that, and I'd be looking for new info.

Secondly, people using protection do get pregnant sometimes (because nothing but abstinance is 100%). Of course, what they don't tell you is how many of those people were using their protection correctly. So again, I'd take that statistic with a grain of salt. Sometimes protection can fail on it's own...but a big portion of the failures are due to simple user error. People don't take their pills as directed, or don't squeeze the air out of the tip of the condom, or don't use lubricant with their condoms, or don't use condoms for all sexual contact...there are a million user errors. An Indiana University study conducted between 2000 and 2001 found that 43% of the college age men in the study put the condom on AFTER sex began, 15% took it off before sex was over, 40% didn't leave space at the tip of the condom, and a whopping 30% put the condom upside down on the penis and then flipped it over! So yeah, they were using protection...but they weren't using it correctly.

If you're looking for sites with statistics, I'd say the place to go is universities or other research institutes. Your local library should also have books of government statistics for the past year. Check with places like the NIH (National Institutes for Health) or the Allan Guttmacher Institute. And make sure that the statistics you're looking at are relevent.

Yes, there is alot of anti-sex stuff out there. Unfortunately, we live in a very sex-negative time in many respects. You have to pick and choose what you read/listen to, and what you take to heart. Don't let the propaganda scare you. Make the decisions that are the best and the most healthy FOR YOU right now.

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Sarah Liz
Scarleteen Sexpert (and Labia Lady)


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CMTFlovesHAH
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Why do they want to scare me with things like "By having sex you are making a hidden commitment to the child that results. The purpose of sex is to create a baby. Therefore, by having sex you are saying, "I am willing to care for the baby." Why?
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tantaLizinShorty8
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quote:
Originally posted by CMTFlovesHAH:
Why do they want to scare me with things like "By having sex you are making a hidden commitment to the child that results. The purpose of sex is to create a baby. Therefore, by having sex you are saying, "I am willing to care for the baby." Why?

I don't think it's to actually scare you, but to warn you of the risk that by having sex, there's always a risk to pregnancy. If having a child does scare you so much then I think you need to look at the greater picture. "..Therefore, by having sex you are saying, 'I am willing to care for the baby'." They're basically just warning you that it can happen, that there's always a risk, and if you aren't ready to handle responsibilities you shouldn't be having sex. But abortion is another alternative.. I guess it depends on the way you see things.

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.*gENnA*.
"Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train"


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Milke
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Very simply, some people feel it's inappropriate to have sex outside of marriage, or to have non-procreative sex. They're certainly entitled to feel that way, though it's not fair to try to impose those views on others.

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Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP, MF

I still love you, oh, I still love you
...Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to


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Gumdrop Girl
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personally, i think it's a darn idea to plan *for* a pregnancy and disease if you intend to have sex. does this mean that you should take measures to get pregnant or pick up disease? NO. What i mean is, play it as safe as possible with proper protection methods and STD screens, but it's not unwise to assume something can/will go wrong and prep for whatever may be the case. that way, if nothing goes wrong, you're fine, but if something does go wrong, you've already planned ahead for it and can take care of yourself. That's just taking responsibility of consequences as they arise.

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Mmm ... crispy, delicious bacon.


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CMTFlovesHAH
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quote:
Originally posted by tantaLizinShorty8:
They're basically just warning you that it can happen, that there's always a risk, and if you aren't ready to handle responsibilities you shouldn't be having sex.


Well, there are a lot of people that have sex that don't want a baby and some that have no way of taking care of a baby but they still have the right to have sex. Don't they?


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Heather
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I would say so, yes.

And the truth of the matter is that numerous birth control methods, used to the letter, work perfectly well, and to boot, when they don't, one is allowed reproductive choices which do not have to include childbearing or childrearing. But I'd say that someone uncomfortable with abortion or adoption who feels strongly they cannot or do not want to raise children nor are capable of such should be giving sex a whole lot of thought, or potentially abstaining from procreative sex knowing that can be a consequence, and one which effects more than the couple involved.

As well, sex doesn't have to be procreative. If you're queer, it isn't at all, and even if you aren't, the majority of sexual activities one can think up don't have to involve direct penis/vagina contact and thus, a pregnancy risk.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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sapphirecat
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quote:
Originally posted by CMTFlovesHAH:
Six out of 10 women having abortions used protection.

Statistics like that bug me. All I can think is, "So what?"

What of the women who aren't having abortions? How often does the protection work? How can it be proved that it did work, and that not using it would have lead to pregnancy? And where does abortion come into condom usage?

I fail to see any inherent meaning in the statistic in any case, so I wouldn't worry too much about whether it's true.

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Sapphire Cat, a feline who can be both pink and blue...


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Lee
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Mark Twain once wrote that there are three types of faleshoods: lies, damned lies, and statistics. Someone else once said that if you tortue numbers they'll confess to anything. There is such a thing as a valid statistic of course, one created from standard proceedures properly applied and derived from raw data that is more or less free of skew or bias. The reason why statistics are used to lie and mislead is because it is difficult to know whether a statistic is valid or not, and also because many people will blindly trust anything that claims to be a statistic. There is a book written over 50 years ago by Darrel Huff called "How to Lie with Statistics." It is an invaluable guide to all of the common tricks and traps that those who would deceive us with statistics commonly employ.

Most of the time however an understanding of statistics is not really necessary, all one need due is consider the source. For example, if a group whose purpose is to abolish the second amendment gives you statistics on gun violence, you can be sure they're heavily skewed if not outright fabrications. One such group created a statistic on how many children were dying from gunshot wounds and labeled everyone under the age of 21 as a "child." The reason they did this is that the majority of gun deaths in people under 21 is concentrated in the older age range. In other words it is teenagers and young adults who are dying, not children, and it is usually during the commission of a crime. I wonder how many American "children" died in the war we just won? This is just an example, the pro second amendment crowd likes to skew their stats too. The anti-abortion and pro-abortion crowds are both famous for their flights of fancy where statistics are concerned. My point is that if someone has an agenda, especially one they are heavily invested in, you can't really trust anything they have to say. That is not to say that they will always lie to you, it is said that even the devil will tell the truth when it suits his purposes, only that you should check and double check anything they tell you.

So here we have this statistic saying that 60% of the women who are having abortions used some form of birth control. This sounds rather alarming until you really stop and think about what it is saying. No mention is made of cases where birth control was sucessful in preventing pregnancy. In order to actually do that one would have to look at how much sex was happening where birth control was being used. By only focusing on the cases where it failed the writer of that article sought to pursuade his or her readers that birth control was ineffective. He used a statistic to mislead, to lie. Assuming of course that this WAS the only statistic presented. I don't have the article so I can't really pass judgement on it.

I could write a book on all the reasons why some people feel it necessary to lie to us about sex (as well as other things) and try to scare us. What it all boils down to is their own failings as human beings. They lie because they themselves do not live with the truth. They try to frighten because they themselves are afraid. Some are acting upon values and morals that they have accepted without question and are unable or unwilling to reconsider. Unquestioning adherence to anything is the sure mark of a weak mind and a lacking character. Such people are a detriment to society as well as the gene pool.

It would be one thing if these cretins went their way and were content to leave everyone else alone. Unfortunately they are not and the reason is because to them a difference of opinion is an attack upon their belief system because it forces the notion into their tiny brains that maybe, just maybe, they're wrong. This is something they're not psychologically equipped to deal with. If you want to see one of them really flip out and start foaming at the mouth all you need to do is present compelling evidence that refutes their dogma. They'll either flip out or become very quiet and withdrawn. In any case they like to prey upon the young because they believe us to be "impressionable" and therefore easy to con. The truth is that the only ones who are "impressionable" in this manner are the younger versions of these cretins. Those of us with good critical thinking skills are difficult to fool regardless of how many birthdays we have under our belt. You may fool us for a little while, but eventually we will learn the truth.

It is the fate of the young to be lied to. The most valuable lesson anyone can teach a child is to take everything their told with a huge grain of salt, to verify everything they can and to reserve judgement on what they can't.

There are of course valid reasons why our parents are concerned about us when it comes to sex. They don't want to see us get hurt, get pregnant, get some disease, etc. Obviously this is not something that anyone wants. Parents who are rational about sex will approach these problems in a rational manner. They won't be afraid to talk to their children openly and honestly about these issues. They won't lie to them, try to scare them, or employ some strong-arm tactic that will only result in a complete breakdown of any trust or dialogue.

Unfortunately sex is still a topic that most people feel uncomfortable about. Exactly why I can't say with any certainty but I believe it is because sex has traditionally been seen as evil or sinful and the traces of those attitudes still linger even in the more enlightened among us. Hopefully this will fade with time but I'm not going to hold my breath.

Lee


Posts: 175 | From: Tempe, AZ USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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