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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » 50-50....??

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Author Topic: 50-50....??
greensk8ergurl
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Member # 12854

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its my opinion that during sex pleasure should be given and recieved by both partners. but i honestly don't like going down on my bf because he's a premature ejaculator and i've noticed i get sick when i swallow, i've tried given him a hand job but its gross getting his cum on my hands. in other words i don't like pleasing him that way.....is there something else i can do to please him?????
Posts: 5 | From: oceanside, ca, united states | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
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quote:
is there something else i can do to please him?????

Well, the only way you'll find out is by asking him. Really. Different things please different people, and no complete stranger is going to be able to guess what your boyfriend might like.

However, all the problems that you've mentioned could be solved by practising safer sex (which is really something you should be doing anyway).

If you don't like swallowing ejaculate, there's no problem if it's inside a condom. And for manual sex, you can either have him wear a condom or put on a latex glove.

Safe, Sound & Sexy A Safer Sex How-To


Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nacarter
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This situation isn't as disastrous as you think! Take the condom suggestion for going down on your boyfriend. A little creativity can go a long way. Go shopping for flavoured and/or coloured condoms (in my city you can get them free from the health clinic) Just be sure that you don't use oral condoms for vaginal sex, they're made differently and don't offer the same protection. If you're uncomfortable with going into a condom/'adult novelty' store, you can purchase them online.

If you have no qualms about these types of stores, a trip to one will help you come up with other ideas. ASK THE STAFF!!! Don't be shy, they aren't sleazy and they deal with these issues all of the time.

A second idea is to use a vibrator on your boyfriend. My girlfriend tried hers on me; believe me, they're just as much fun for guys as they are for girls. Penile stimulation with a vibrator may seem strange to your boyfriend the first time you try it, but he'll thank you later. Grab a washcloth and cleanup is quick and easy!


Posts: 23 | From: Guelph, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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(Just a note, na: the majority of our users are legal minors. Not ony can most not purchase a vibrator, we have to shy away from giving anything that can be construed as sexual technique advice, information or solicitation for legal reasons here. So, while I'm glad you dig the vibrator, it's generally not appropriate to pass on that sort of anecdote here at ST, especially if you're a legal adult.)
Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Milke
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It's not that flavoured condoms are themselves any different from standard condoms, it's that the sweetening and flavours used in them aren't good for vaginas. Any condom used for oral sex should be of a reputable brand, not expired, and NOT marked 'novelty' in any way, shape or form. The point of using a condom for oral sex is to prevent disease transmission, so in theory they'd be just fine against pregnancy too, it's just that the additives make them unsuitable for intercourse.

And it is possible to get flavoured condoms in drugstores. Look for Trustex, Lifestyles, and Durex (I think they're called 'Colors and Scents' or something of the sort). Crown and Paradise condoms are also pleasantly scented and should be suitable. If you're going to use a non-flavoured condom, look for one with glycerine, not silicone lube, or one that's unlubricated (will sometimes say 'dry' on the package). Never use spermicidal ones, for anything, they're irritating to all body parts, and up your risk of STI transmission.

------------------
Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP, MF

I still love you, oh, I still love you
...Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to


Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
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quote:
believe me, they're just as much fun for guys as they are for girls.

I.e. not always fun at all. Some guys find the stimulation of a vibrator (or of particular types of vibrator) much too intense to be comfortable, just as some girls do.

Really, it's just not possible to make blanket recommendations as if the same thing is going to please everybody.

[This message has been edited by logic_grrl (edited 04-30-2003).]


Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nacarter
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Thank you Miz Scarlet for the feedback. It's a good reminder for those of us not living in the US that content policy there is far more conservative than in Canada or any of the liberal Western European nations. I apologize for any offence that may have been taken.

Just for the sake of comparison, the idea of my previous post was printed in a local student newspaper that is available to all ages in the public sphere and similar content is displayed on several radio and television programs across the country.


Posts: 23 | From: Guelph, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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It's less the content policy of the US, as the Internet is a global media, and more that were we (read: I) to be sued via civil suit, it'd pretty much mean the end of Scarleteen. I don't have the backup of a college or a newspaper or a fat organization.

So, it just isn't worth it, especially considering that technique really is something best learned on one's own or with the actual partner anyhow.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dzuunmod
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(As someone who's worked with student newspapers across the country here in Canada with Canadian University Press, I can very safely say that the student press in this country is working without a financial net, too. The majority of student papers in Canada are independent and therefore do not have the financial means of the universities or even the student unions at their disposal.)

Carry on.

------------------
...and we raise the white flag, so they can paint it red and blue!
-Joel Plaskett, True Patriot Love

[This message has been edited by Dzuunmod (edited 04-30-2003).]


Posts: 1515 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
emsily0
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here too, dzuun. most (though not all) student newspapers are independent to keep editorial freedom.

however, i can say that we would probably print something like that in our small-new england-liberal-arts college newspaper, without worrying about getting sued. the difference is the audience, and more importantly, the fact that it being a college, there are probably few minors (under 18) involved, and no one under the age of consent, so no one would be writing about breaking the law.

emily


Posts: 786 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dzuunmod
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But, em, if there's even one minor on a given campus, doesn't that blow the whole thing up? Is this law in existance to 'protect' one minor, or many minors, or any and all minors? I'd guess it's the last one.

I see racy ads and racy editorial content all the time in the alternative weeklies from every city, and these things sit out for free on sidewalks, for anyone to take. I was reading them, certainly, when I was a minor. I'd be very curious to know how they're able to get away with it.

------------------
...and we raise the white flag, so they can paint it red and blue!
-Joel Plaskett, True Patriot Love

[This message has been edited by Dzuunmod (edited 04-30-2003).]


Posts: 1515 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
emsily0
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my understanding is that as long as what we're publishing is in the realm of sex advice as opposed to porn (for example), it's fine to write something like what was posted above as long as it was legal for whoever wrote it to actually do it and as long as no one else is being defamed by what is written.

and to be honest, i do think you have a good point, although i'm not too clear about the specifics of the law. but i think someone would have a very hard time suing a college newspaper for publishing a sex column, given that a college newspaper is aimed at college students (even though younger people may read it). i just think that would go under the category of freedom of speech, as long as nothing illegal is being described. we probably wouldn't publish anything really explicit as a matter of taste and because it could put us in a different category, legally.

as far as scarleteen goes...well, i think websites are more vulnerable than college newspapers. they are more widely publicised and more widely available, and this site is aimed at minors, so it's easier to imagine a circumstance where a fundie sees an explicit post and feels the need to sue over corruption of minors, or something like that.

em


Posts: 786 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nacarter
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Member # 12840

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I agree witht the approach being taken by Scarleteen in this regard, hence my earlier apology. In the same position, I would also encourage such a policy.

The problem isn't really with being sued by an individual; rather it's being targeted by a conservative organization that's looking for some ink and justification for more donations. The point wouldn't be to shut the site down permanently, as the courts would eventually throw the suit out as frivelous. The aim would be to take advantage of the site's non-funded position to stall long enough that the court costs would eventually bankrupt the site and its creators. There are several cases where this has happened and its a surprisingly effective tactic.

The service that Scarleteen provides is valuable and not worth taking such content risks. Keep up the good work!


Posts: 23 | From: Guelph, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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