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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » insults

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Author Topic: insults
Whatsthatmommy
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I have come to a question. When insulting, as your being insulted back the question lies; Is there a line you should never cross or is everything fair game?

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Get close to your friends, but closer to your enemies.


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Milke
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I always figured that depended on your sense of honour and ethics, and how much you cared if you got your arse kicked. Generally, specific slags seem to be more effective than things that are said just to be crude anyway.

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Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP

Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost


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Heather
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Also depends on what you believe in and how you feel about using words to hurt people in the first place.

As a Buddhist, for instance, hurling any sort of unkind or purposefully (or mindlessly) cruel words at another person is not acceptable.

Rather than think about where insults cross the line, I think it's more productive to think about how to avoid that kind of exchange altogether, or how to make it cease.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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LilBlueSmurf
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Personally, when i've told someone something in confidence, and it comes back up in a fight ... I tend to get really pissy. I REALLY don't like telling someone something that's so important to me, and then have them throw it back at me in the form of an insult.

But ... I have to know ... why do you ask?


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Whatsthatmommy
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because in my school all we do is insult each other. It's pretty depressing hering 20 different sentences contain the word faggot, and ive heard a few racial and ethnic/religion swears. I walked into the boys bathroom and there was a swastika carved on the wall. I was called a nigger jew the other day. Doesn't offend me becuase, first off i dont appear the slightest bit black becuase im 50% irish 13% english and 13% scottish and 25% italian so im as white as they come. its just a sad world we live in you know? i was in a verbal arguement with one kid and i said, you know the day before dylan klebold went to school and shot up 13 of his classmates in columbine high, he was made fun of too? I see people being made fun of left and right, i am apart of it i witness is and i am the recipient and the dealer of harsh words.

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Get close to your friends, but closer to your enemies.


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herecomestheson
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Damn dude, you're like the smartest kid on this board! I know what you're talking about. There seems to be this weird ratio between High Schools simply based on location. Kids at my school were called a "jew" as if it was an insult. It's sad to think what a decline in intelligence there has been over the years, and there will always be racists. They should be locked in a room together where they can be left to call their own elite group horrible words until they die of boredom.

[This message has been edited by herecomestheson (edited 02-25-2003).]


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BruinDan
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quote:
Originally posted by Whatsthatmommy:
i was in a verbal arguement with one kid and i said, you know the day before dylan klebold went to school and shot up 13 of his classmates in columbine high, he was made fun of too?

Probably not a wise move there, since in today's hypersensitive society you've just managed to cross a delicate line into the wild blue yonder. If you said something like that to somebody, it can be construed as a "criminal threat." (This section is 422 in most Penal Codes, and used to be referred to as "Terrorist threats" until June of 2001 when the term was changed) I know it sounds stupid, and I agree that there is a fair amount of overreach there, but you really need to be careful when you say things like that. Especially when you make reference to an incident where a pair of nutcases shot dozens of schoolmates and teachers.

Outside of that, I must ask something. Why do you care what these knuckleheads say to or about you? You've already proved to us how ignorant they are, so does anything they say really mean anything to you? It shouldn't, my friend. Morons will be morons, and people who tease each other in high school will probably still be doing it when they're in retirement homes. There isn't anything you can do about it other than be strong, ignore the garbage around you, and keep your chin up. Making comments like you made before is tantamount to letting those people get under your skin, which you cannot do.

If you play it smart, it will all be like water off a duck's back. And a few years from now, you'll get the last laugh.

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BruinDan, "Number Three," PBOM

Beware the naked man who offereth you his pants.


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Whatsthatmommy
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im not getting picked on, its just there is a lot of hatred going on and according to the brochures for this school it's a "place higher for education in a christian atomsphere" well everyone seams to be ignorant. Highschool is overrated

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Get close to your friends, but closer to your enemies.


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Whatsthatmommy
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hey i just wanted to get these lasts words in before tommoro. There's going to be a fight with me and another kid tommoro at the mall all over a a stupid insult wich i didnt even say to anyone he knows things just spread so fast. I dont want to fight but i got to protect the family name. Life's a b*tch what can you say???

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Get close to your friends, but closer to your enemies.


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UKgirl
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quote:
Originally posted by Whatsthatmommy:
a stupid insult wich i didnt even say to anyone he knows

What did you say, to who?


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Milke
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I can say you're risking getting in trouble with your family, your school, your peers, and the law, and that there's no way in hell we'd endorse you doing any of those things. Is that the sort of advice you were looking for?

I'd also like to mention that BruinDan's given you some very clear advice, and the Guidelines do make it clear that it's not okay to post about illegal stuff here.

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Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP

Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost

[This message has been edited by Milke (edited 02-28-2003).]


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Shann2002
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Well, I think that there is always a line that you should never cross in most situations. Thing that People should not pick on:


  • People's Religion
  • People's Mothers or other family members
  • Race or sex
  • People's significant others

Other personal things alao should be on the list. I remember that when i was in High School, I fought this girl on the bus for talking negatively about my mother (my fathe, too. She was referring to my parents divorce, which ticked me off!)I just looked at my supposed friend for about 30 seconds and slapped her! That's what started that fight. I guess that was a touchy subject for me. Even though my parent had been separated for 7 yrs. by then, i didn't realize i was still that sensitive about it.


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Heather
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No one ever, EVER has to fight to "protect the family name." This isn't 5th century China we're living in, in case it escaped your attention.

And what goes on ih high school is pretty unlikely to have boo to do with your family unless you DO start throwing punches.

Honestly, in other posts, whatsthatmommy, what comes across pretty clearly about you is that it is of the utmost import that everyone and their uncle knows your masuclinity isn't in question. Not sure if you see that, but in the whole of your posts as a group, it's prettty darn crystal. So, I'm guessing this attitude that "oh well, I have to fight" doesn't have a thing to do with your familiy's reputation and has everything to do with you, your identity, and your feelings about how others perceive you.

Fighting or winning the insult game doesn't uphold anyone's masculinity. All it does is continue the negativity started in the first place, further it, and make everyone involved look like a dolt or a thug.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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Whatsthatmommy
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Round here, I dont know but the code of chivalry seems to be reinstated. As the Saying Goes "Cuff's up - Fists the same, Protect your friends and the Family Name" I'm Decendents of English Royalty, The Stuart Family, Mary Stuart, so there is a family name. I'm not expecting for anyone to endorse illegal behavior. I'm 210 lbs 6'1" hes 5'9 100 lbs. Hopefully, He will backdown, words will be exchanged and we will both walk away. Well, 6 hours till the fight i gotta hit the gym. I'm out. I'll inform you guys on what happend.

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Get close to your friends, but closer to your enemies.


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BruinDan
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quote:
Originally posted by Whatsthatmommy:
I'm Decendents of English Royalty, The Stuart Family, Mary Stuart, so there is a family name.

And I'm a descendant of a pair of Irishmen who were kicked out of Ireland for "drunken cattle rustling." (Do you have any appreciation for what it would take to be kicked out of Ireland for being drunk?!) So I'll hereby raise my fists at you for being a descentdant of royalty that oppressed my family waaaaayyy back in the day.

I'm betting that you've completely missed my point, which wouldn't be the first time. But I'll be blunt: you need to stop being a knucklehead. My friend, aside from accepting rampant generalizations at face value, you've crossed yet another boundary here with this fistfighting business. As we do not permit bogus generalizations here, we neither promote nor condone fistfighting as an acceptable practice here either. I understand that sometimes it happens, but frankly, if you've got all this time to plan it out and discuss it here, you've got plenty of time to resolve your differences like a decent human being and cease fighting over something as ridiculous as an inane comment.

This "code of chivalry" business is poppycock. We are not in rural Tennessee, and those of us who are do not belong to the Hatfields or McCoys anyway. So this whole concept of blood fueds doesn't hold any weight here.

Wanna be a real man? Do you? Then stand tall, ignore these people, and knock off the fighting and whatnot. There is far more to it than "hittin' the gym" and puttin' up your dukes over a cheap insult. Put down the weights, pick up a history book, and behave yourself.

Loud and clear, soldier?

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BruinDan, "Number Three," PBOM

Beware the naked man who offereth you his pants.

[This message has been edited by BruinDan (edited 03-01-2003).]


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Whatsthatmommy
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There was no fight. As we were at the mall, only one of my 2nd men could come. I tryed really hard with Diplomacy. So there were about 50 of city kids and only one kid i knew who was from my rural area. My palms were sweaty, i didnt want to fight for no reason. So us 50 or so kids were walking, some goth girl yells, "What is this, the f**king Jock Parade" seing as we were all wearing name brand clothes. So apparntly some jerk replied to her. So as i was outside pumin my self up for the fight, She yells "Who F**ckin said that" And i yelled, Said what? Biggggggg mistake. Rule number one, Never mess with someone who is drunk. So she flips out her switch blade and starts screamin at me. I'm about to cry as ive got a knife up my to my throat and that stuff doesnt happen in Byfield Massachussettes. So im desperatly telling her i didnt say anything and i flashed money in front of her. I said see that kid over there, Abraham lincolin said he did it. She took the money and went psycho on him. The security came, we split like a bannana. As dumb as this sounds, I learned an amazing amount about life. #1 never mess with a drunk person. #2 Keep your mouth shut. #3 As far as i'm concerned, women can fight in the infantry, #4 Fighting is dumb. #5 always cary protection of some sort on you, cuase as they say Sh*t happens. #6 Appearances are not what they seem like in school, when your wearing a uniform you look totally different.#7 The people who you wouldnt think would stand by you, will. #8 Just becuase your wearing baggy jeans, doesnt mean you carry a knife. #9 NEVER EVER pick on ANYBODY, Especially if there wearing black clothes. #10 Anyone is scary with a knife.#11 Drinking alchol is bad #12 Be it ever so humble, theres no place like home. #13 People are scary #14 im never going to the mall again, at least until im 18 #15 Girls can kick ass too

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Get close to your friends, but closer to your enemies.


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Heather
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I'm sorry what happened to you did.

However, it is an easy truism that violence does beget violence. It's not unusual than when even one or two hyped-up folks go out with a fight in the plans or in their heads that Bad Things happen: the air is usually very heavy with the tone of the thing, and the mood is really bloody obvious. People pick up on it who've got the same thing in their heads: that's how aggression works.

I'm glad at least you've come to recognize that that sort of fighting most certainly is dumb. Here's hoping it sticks -- you'll be a lot better off.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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Whatsthatmommy
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but the even sadder thing is, my whole grade went to see it. They knew who the victor was going to be, they knew what was going to happen. It was like some sport to them. Around 50 or so people came from about 6 different schools. It was comparitive to the blood sports back in the middle ages. Neither of us wanted to fight, but the crowd wanted it. My concernt wasn't that i was going to get hurt, but that i was going to hurt him or get in trouble. People always say mall security sucks but they got a reason to be there. Fighting is a horrible thing, but i want to make this message clear to everyone. IF you are going to be dumb as i was and fight, dont tell everyone, becuase everyone will come. Fighting should only be used in self defense. If you got disputes, you should use school councelors or somthing, becuase only bad stuff will happen. But i cant believe one thing. I was such a wimp. I cowered to a girl with a knife. I always thought i was this macho jock who could walk over people. Before this happend i probably would of said "I'd slap the sh*t out of that b*tch cuase no woman does that to me" well i cowered to her. Your right Violence begots violence.

But back to the main subject. What gives the right for somebody to say something about someones mom? Has anyone noticed about this lately? It's always your mom this your mom that.

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Get close to your friends, but closer to your enemies.


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Desperate Dan
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A point to bare in mind if anyone starts saying nasty things to you is that:

"They are probably only saying that to make themsleves feel better"

And also if you rise to them then perhaps you are only sinking to their level?

[This message has been edited by Desperate Dan (edited 03-03-2003).]


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lemming
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As to why the subject of someone's mom and whatever she's supposedly done coming up - people say it 'cause it bothers other people. Stupid, but true.

Don't ask me why it would bother someone; what my mom does and with whom isn't any of my business

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Laurel Lemming
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"Maypole/The ties that bind you will unwind/To free me one day/And everything decays..." - XTC, "The Wheel and the Maypole"


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