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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Suicde and/in Relationships

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Author Topic: Suicde and/in Relationships
herecomestheson
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I only bring this up because I had a friend who died in this manner. What do people think about individuals committing suicide in relationships? Is it a misconception to your friends and family that just because you're in a relationship means you're happy? Do you think you qualify as being suicidal if you harbour thoughts of your own death?

[This message has been edited by herecomestheson (edited 01-05-2003).]


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Lost_Blue_Angel
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yes i believe it is a misconception that if ur in a relationship people automatically think you're happy- like me. i'm now engaged but a year ago i tried committing suicide by taking an overdose and everyone 'CLAIMED' that they never knew blah blah blah when i had already been diagnosed with depression.
people don't take notice till it's too late and sometimes it's fatal.
people can hide how they're feeling inside aswell which often makes it hard for people to guess.

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twiceagainyesterday
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Yes, the idea that if you are in a relationship that you are happy. You usually act happier in public with your SO, because fighting causes embarrassement when in public. So people assume you are delerious.

Also, it bugs me how the key for make happiness is always portrayed at getting laid, and how female happiness 'depends' on marriage or a solid commitment.

Two words, people: Domestic Abuse. Another two words: Psychological Disorders. One is CAUSED by being in an relationship, the other CANNOT be cured by it.

It is the Handsome Prince/ Princess thing again. "true love" (or, any love) can solve everything. My rear. One (or more, if you are polyamourous)person cannot solve your problems any more, and, probably LESS, than your really good friend of twelve years.


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CutiePie4eva
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i like what twiceagainyesterday posted. it's true... you cant depend on someone you're in a relationship with to magically fix your problems... ESPECIALLY when you have pshycological issues... i know this from experience... somehow i was expected to magically solve 15 years of issues... and problems... and all that.

and what is domestic abuse?


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KandyKorn17
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You're all right, it is a big misconception.. and even if you know that people in relationships can be unhappy, and that it's not your job to fix someone's problems (and it's certainly nobody else's job to fix yours), you can still easily get confused when somebody you care about hurts themselves.

I know I felt utterly betrayed when a boyfriend of mine ended up in the hospital for trying to kill himself. Not only in the "how could you do this to me?" sense, but also in the "what, didn't I make you happy enough?" kinda way.

Of course, my head was a lot clearer when I saw it from an outsider's perspective. One of my good girl friends was dating this girl who had a serious problem with self mutilation- cutting, burning, anything. And my friend would get so angry with her if she did it because to her that meant that she wasn't doing her job as a girlfriend- her job being, making her happy enough that she didn't want to cut herself. I don't know.


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Heather
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(Domestic abuse is spousal or partner abuse, Cutie. For more info, see: Advice from an Abuse Survivor)

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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