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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Where do they get the idea?

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Author Topic: Where do they get the idea?
youcancallmepunk
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When I was taking my lunch break at work I walked down to Subway to grab a bite to eat (I work in a large shopping center.) And I'm cutting across the parking lot and some guy in his car passes me by, honks, and screams "hey baby!" I was like 'whatever' and went on my merry little way. BUT then he preceded to inch his car up behind me (about a foot away, and scream "hey baby" and other phrases at me.

First off where do people learn it's okay to do that to woman, or a person for that matter? Second off, there were other individuals around the area who did nothing to stop this, and just looked at me like I was the one with the problem. It just disturbs me that no one stepped up to the plate to try to stop what this man was doing to me. It wasn't okay that the man was doing this, and it wasn't okay that people stood back and let it happen.

How did our society become so complacent or tolerant to such acts?


Posts: 197 | From: north carolina, United States | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Daydreamer24
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wolf-calls, leering, and obscene gestures: just another day
Posts: 1619 | From: TEXAS | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
youcancallmepunk
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Thanks for that link, but that still doesn't answer my pending question. (it mostly discussed how one can react to such things.)

So how did our society become like this? I want ya'll's (<~~grew up mostly in texas..lol) opinions on this. I dont' know what my opinion is really...hopefully after reading ya'll's, I could maybe have all these thoughts drifting around from into an actual mass of conclusion.


Posts: 197 | From: north carolina, United States | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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Can I ask what you did in response?

While I agree his behavior was completely inappropriate, how is he or anyone else to know it upsets you if you don't express it? It's your responsibility to stand up for yourself first and not that of passersby.

On the other hand I do feel that it is only common decency to back someone, even if it is a stranger, when s/he's being harassed like that. Hmm . . . still, there is a difference between common decency and responsibility.

And now I'm wondering just what my responsibility as a member of society is . . . shutting up before I steer the thread off topic.


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Sapp
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Just out of curiosity, what did you expect the bystanders to do?
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platzapS
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Mating calls. Over the centuries, men have flown to the moon and split the atom. But we haven't gotten any wiser when it comes to women. I'm sorry one of "my kind" had to put you through that.
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silent_darkness
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The same thing has happend to me..at Walmart no less..and yea there were people around that didnt say anything..or even look twice. It disturbs me that people can just let this go..the guy could have been a rapist for all they know. All I can say is that I'vbe noticed that in this society, people just think its ok for men to exploit wemon just like that. I'm not a raging feminist, and I'm not blaming rap culture...but it just blows my mind the things that men can get away with (like hollering obscenities at wemon) All I do is brush it off. But I try to do my part to flip the bird to guys that decide to do that to me (although it might not help its satisfying

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x We are the wakeful, wry and watchful, We're awaiting. DEATHLESS ONES x


Posts: 20 | From: Sharon Grove | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
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quote:
But we haven't gotten any wiser when it comes to women.

It seems to me that a great many guys are wise and decent enough not to harrass and scream at women.

quote:
I'm sorry one of "my kind" had to put you through that.

Dude, you're not responsible for other people's behaviour just because they happen to be of the same gender as you .

Men don't behave this way just because they're men - there's no gene on the Y chromosome for "must harrass strange women in parking lots". And a great number of men would never dream of doing anything of the sort.

The question is, I guess, why in our society some men grow up thinking that this is just fine.


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sublime_15
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I get honked at or stared at everyday on my walk to and from my bus stop thats kinda far away for my house. All i do is Flip them the bird, and scream F*ck You! (i have to scream cus there driving) Its funny because when i'll be at a mall or something and mexicans start saying stuff in spanish they dont think i understand them, but oh I do (my mom is from columbia, South America) and i talk back to them in spanish, it really freaks them out.

I had a friend named jeremy that when we went driving around would honk and girls walking and say stuff like "hey baby" and I would go why are you saying that stuff, and he says that it raises their self esteem, and he may have a point, for that split second after I tell the people off I'm on a "I'm really hot high"

[This message has been edited by sublime_15 (edited 06-20-2003).]


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platzapS
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You're right, logic! I can just try my personal best to not use such rude behavior.
I'm glad everyone knows that all men aren't like that.

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Latina Chik
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No, not all men are like that, which we are glad for. I say that when it comes to respecting women, some men just can't do. How would they like it if they were in our shoes?? I don't find it at all appropriate that they say things like that to women.

And Sublime_15, good for you! I find that standing up to them for what they say is a good thing to do. It shows them that they should respect us!!!!

I'm spanish as well. Well, I hope I was of some help.

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"sad hours seem long....."

- Romeo
( but they are not! It only seems as though it is eternity! Be STRONG!)


Posts: 59 | From: Georgia, USA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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