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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » is premarital sex immoral?

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Author Topic: is premarital sex immoral?
Member # 9976

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we are to have a persuasive speech in class next week. my teacher ask me to encourage/persuade my classmate that premarital sex is not immoral. it is a very difficult task for me, because as a catholic, premarital sex is highly discourage. it is a sin for us actually. 1 thing more is that i'm not engaging with IT yet. what do you think? is it immorality or not?
Posts: 3 | From: Sta. Maria, Bulacan, Philippines | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2050

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I think you are going to have to realise that there is no real answer to such a question. Immorality is something which requires more than a yes or no answer.

For example, I call myself a Christian and am very much rooted in the Christian faith but I so engage in premarital sex. Does it make me immoral? I do not think so because to me, being immoral is about alot more than having safe sex.

I've got a few older threads here for you to take a look at and maybe form some arguments for your speech.

Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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The problem with the question your teacher asked is that it's missing an end.

In other words, the only way one can really ask that question, unless you're asking it of a specific group with agreed upon or prescribed morality is: "Is premarital sex immoral for you? or for us, at this sschool. Or for this class. Et cetera.

Morality, or deontic logic, in a casse like this isn't arbitrary or global (though I recognize that some traditions feel it is universal, and that whether other traditions and peoples have their own set of ethics or not, a given set of ethics applies to them regardless, dismissing anthropological and other differences). In some cultures, religions and groups, the entire concept, for instance of marriage does not even EXIST, so there is no such thing as premarital sex. For people or groups who cannot become married, it also does not exist. In other words, asking that question makes two assumptions which aren't logically sound:

That marriage must exist and is something in which all people can and will participate, as well as share the exact same rules and customs within and
That morality is not personal, but instead a given with given rules and regulations that apply to all people the same.

...and neither of those things are so.

Given, one can have arguments about cultural relativism, about if there in fact ARE some universal moral standards, but with an issue like this, which uses, already, issues which are by definition assigned to a given culture or group (the notion of sin and that of marriage and sex within marriage) one isn't going to be able to get very far stating that morality is universal on this particular issue, because we have very clear evidence -- in the form of people and traditions who subscribe to none of these things, and for whom such concepts do not even exist -- that it is not.

I'd actually suggest, if you really want to do an assignment like this thoughtfully, that you ask your teacher about those issues.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 6450

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I'm going to give you my opinion on premarital sex.

I don't think it is immoral or a bad thing to do before marriage in any way. I think it is all up to the individual and whether he/she wants and feels ready to engage in these activies.

But again, I'm not saying that waiting is a bad thing. It is a very respectable- and hard thing to do.

I think it is up to whoever is in the situation. Its not immoral, but its not bad to wait and sometimes for the right person and want to save yourself until marriage.

I just thought I'd give you a piece of my opinion.

Why does a rose represent love, when a rose always dies??

Friends are like condoms, they help out when things get hard.

Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself!!!

Posts: 473 | From: Virginia | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 10149

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Yes, it's immoral. In fact, it is immoral for your teacher to make you think in that way. ALL questions of morality is if God would approve of it. In other words, is it sin? If you have no God, then everything is permissable. The only question for a non-believer then is will the police catch you for breaking the law. The whole marriage ceremony is a religious union created by God. God's divine creation for marriage is that a virgin male be joined in marriage to a virgin female. I ask you, in the spirit of "loving thy neighbor", would you be hurt if your child, or your spouse, or your girlfriend/boyfriend, or your future spouse, or your parents were having sex with other people? If you say that you would feel hurt, then it is not "loving thy neighbor" to have premarital sex. Imagine how glorious it would be that your spouse has never loved another like they love you. If you still believe that premarital sex is ok, then it is your sinful nature talking and not the Holy Spirit.
Posts: 3 | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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If you intend to make those sorts of statements, please kindly remember to preface them (as other users in this thread have) with the fact that they are your opinion or belief. Here at Scarleteen, we don't support any religion or creed over another. While you may not believe pre-marital sex is alright, some of our users feel just fine about it. Please be respectful of others, and others will be respectful of your beliefs. It is just fine to include religion in our discussion of sexuality, we just respectfully request that our users do not preach or try to state their beliefs as absolute universal truth since we have such a diverse user base.

Scarleteen Advocate

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I do feel the need to respond a little here, too. TR, this non-believer understands that people other than me have rights. This - not the threat of being caught - is what prevents me from doing bad things (say, rape, assault, theft and the like). You don't know the motives of non-believers are, so you might do well to stay away from explaining them to others.

"Love is blind, and I don't blame her/'cause lately I ain't been too much to see/I'd ask a girl home, but I'd have to pay her..."
-Old '97s Ray Charles

[This message has been edited by Dzuunmod (edited 10-04-2002).]

Posts: 1515 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Confused boy
Member # 1964

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Furthermore, TotalRecall I would suggest that there are many marriages that are not a ceremony done in front of G-d. Though I know little of it myself, I know people here and in real life that follow the customs of religions that do not come under the judeo-christian umbrella. "Handfastings" as I believe some call them are a form of marriage that concentrates far more on the relationship between two people rather than them and G-d (correct me if I am wrong). Often traditional marriages are little more than a legal officiality. Can it be said that the majority of marriages conducted in Las Vegas are genuinely or deliberately done in front of G-d?

That is not to say that we should not have the greatest respect for those who decide that waiting till marriage is the best lifestyle choice for them and in a slowly growing number of places in Europe, this option is now thankfully open to homosexuals too.

'An Anarchist is a Liberal with a bomb' Trotsky

Posts: 711 | From: England | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 4003

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So how are the living conditions in those places in Europe?

I am of a certain religion where we believe we were given the freedom of choice.

Whether it's right or wrong, my religion teaches not to judge.

Scolding other people and belittling them
doesn't really fit under "Love thy neighbor".
It's also easier to read your book of religious instruction if it's not closed and being used as a club.

Just a few thoughts.

[This message has been edited by PixieDust (edited 10-04-2002).]

Posts: 86 | From: Las Vegas, NV, United States | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8605

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I guess it depends on your religious backing and your personal morals and beliefs. I think you have already got your own answer inside there somewhere, Sweet.

Follow your inner moonlight, don't hide the MaDdNeSs...

Posts: 56 | From: Land of Oz | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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