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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Co-Ed Sleepovers (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Co-Ed Sleepovers
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Knowing my parental units, they'd probably never let me do a coed sleepover, but I don't see any good or bad in it, really. I mean, I think if it's a group of good friends who all hang, there's nothing wrong with that, but if it's boyfriends and girlfriends, ect, I can see where things might start happening. But I also believe that the parents have to know their kids pretty well in order to let them have or go to coed sleep overs...knowing how they might react, what they might do, ect. I think the more people make of situations like this, the more kids'll want to do them.
Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Originally posted by acturexon:
Allowing coed teenage sleepovers is imprudent.

...according to you, at least. I know many people, such as myself, who had them without incident.

"Like a bat out of hell, time has come for you!"
-Ballad of a Comeback Kid, The New Pornographers

Posts: 1515 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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i've had co ed sleepovers since I was a kid. My mother didn't have much of a choice really, all my friends were boys. lol

I had a co ed sleepover for my 15th and no funny business went on(besides some snuggling between a couple). No inappropriate behaviour, nothing.

My mother trusted me to have one, and my friends respected that.

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My friends and I have had co-ed sleepovers without incident. I think this is because we all sleep in one big room and have group activities so that it's difficult for a couple to isolate themselves from the group. It makes everyone feel comfortable.

~Frabs! ^.^

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Co-ed sleepovers are something which commonly happens, in both sexual and non-sexual relationships. If parents feel like their kids are smart and wise enough, they should let them. In almost all cases parents are smarter and know what to do better than their children. I feel like this fact is extremely ignored in the modern world. Because co-ed sleepovers are very case sensitive, I would pretty much always leave the decision up to the parents.

Love is the art of controling something that your not sure exists

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I know this post is kinda old, but I am going to add my own 2 cents anyways....I am 15...and have had co-ed sleepovers....none were intientionally planned though...mainly it was us over Kaylas house and we were all to lazy to drive home, so we called our parents and asked if we could stay over...nothing remotely sexual ever happens/ed at these though....I dont see the big deal......If we as teens want to do something, then half of us are going to do what we want in point: Toms mom wont let him stay over Kaylas because Kaylas a girl and Toms a guy, so Tom will just be like: "Mom Im staying over Dwights," while really staying over personally I find that telling us no, will only make us want it more, and we wont listen......but that could just be my friends and I......
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...and what you're saying is likely a BIG part of why you hit resistance on this, Faded.

In other words, anything like this involves trust and fair judgment, which you're saying you have no real inention of honoring. Parents figure that out in time, and whaddya know, they don't trust you anymore.

I've likely said it somewhere else in this thread, but again: in my mind, gender is a non-issue here. Not everyone is heterosexual: does this mean that the homosexual teens are now under suspicion for very traditional same-sex sleepovers? That the bisexual teens can't sleep over at ANYONE'S house? Moreover, even if you are sleeping over in a romantic situation, sleeping with a partner is nice all by itself, and sex doesn't have to happen. if it is happening, and that's yet something else one isn't being honest with parents about, or they have reason to believe or know you aren't being honest there, you come right back round to the trust issue.

Ultimately, it's not about gender, it's about trust. You don't have it, co-ed sleepovers aren't going to be the only wall you hit. And if your parents know you don't respect their rules (and if they're paying your bills and expenses, they do jusifiably have some say there, fairly) or their requests, of course you're going to hit problems.

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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