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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Kids and their attitudes towards rape.

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Author Topic: Kids and their attitudes towards rape.
Member # 2057

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This really scared me when I heard it on the news.Erm, I don't know how to put a link in(sorry, I am pathetic) so I am just going to put the bit of the article which scared me most in. It's from BBC news online if anyone wants to have a look.

'Pupils in Essex are being given special lessons designed to challenge the attitudes that can lead to rape and sexual assault.
The "Respect" project - which is being piloted at three primary and three secondary schools in Thurrock - follows a survey which suggested some young people believed sexual assault and violence could be justified in some circumstances.
A national survey of over 2,000 youngsters, aged between 14 and 21, found one in two young men and one in three young women believed it was acceptable to hit a woman or force her to have sex in certain situations, for example, if she was "his wife" or was "nagging". '

That is worrying, isn't it? Well, it worried me.(the results of the survey, not the educational scheme, obviously, the scheme seems like a good idea although it's scary that it's needed). How do people get attitudes like that?
Anyone got any opinions here?

Posts: 394 | From: Manchester, Lancashire, England | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Here is the link:

Adding links is easy, just copy the complete url (including the "http" bit), and it's made automatically.
You can find a complete guide to UBB Code (the "HTML" of UBBs) right here.

Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2610

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7 years ago, 12 other classmates (male and female) and I answered the exact same way to almost exactly the same question. Our lifestyles teacher gave us such a lecture on that, I have never forgotten the lesson. Rape is rape is rape... It's good to see how far I've come. Unfortunate that others seem to be stuck...
Posts: 140 | From: Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Celtic Daisy
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I can't believe people find that at all acceptable. How horrifying. I have to wonder what kinda things there parent's are teaching them. it freaks me out.

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Posts: 1747 | From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 406

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Yeah, it sucks that we live in a society where the first question they ask when a girl is raped is "what was she wearing?" and when a rapist's explanation (with date rape anyway) is "sometimes no means yes". No means no, unless you're doing some role playing type thing and that's part of the scene, but even then you have a stop-word so you know when the person wants to stop. No one deserves to be raped, sexually asulted, sexually abused, sexually harrased, mentally abused, or physically abused. Period. End of story. I don't know where kids are getting these ideas, and it saddens me.

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[This message has been edited by Pixie69 (edited 05-23-2001).]

Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2050

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Yep yep. I did some research on television viewing habits, talkshows to be specific, and teenagers who constantly watched talkshows like Jerry Springer and Ricki Lake actually believed that rapists should not be convicted as harshly as compared to teenagers who do not spend every waking minute watching these pathetic talkshows.

This would be known as desensitisation. When one is so constantly exposed to such imagery on television, one starts to believe that rape is actually very common and some people just buy into those pathetic sob stories the men give. "But she was all for it up till the end", "She wouldn't stop nagging", "She was wearing a tiny skirt and a boob tube"

Yes, it is indeed very sad. What is even sadder is that some of these rape victims believe that they asked for it. The number of times I have read newspaper reports where the wife who got raped by her husband said "I shouldn't have nagged/shouted/screamed at him"

And I don't even know where to begin when it comes to marital rape.

Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I think it's very sad, but I also have to say that that survey is probably very accurate as far as what teens really think. When I was in high school (Christian school), if a girl got raped, it was because she was wearing something revealing, or she was someplace she wasn't supposed to be, or she was doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing. And of course, rape was still wrong, but it must have somehow been the girl's fault because she was somehow asking for it. Oh, and don't forget that when you were married (which was the only time you were supposed to have sex at all), it was your job as a woman to please your husband and do whatever he wanted to without complaint.

So yeah, alot of people do have those attitudes still. I find it very sad and rather scary.


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Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2057

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Cheers for the link Alaska!
About that point about how people think a woman's clothing 'invites' rape, when the item was on the news they had an interview with a boy of about 16 and he was saying that he interpret a woman dressing like that as provocation (is that even a word or have I made it up?) not necessarily to rape her but to make 'advances' on her, and that if someone did rape her then it would be her fault and I was seething. As in screaming at the radio I was so angry. It's not right-if a man takes his top off on a sunny day and walks around the streets, is that an invitation for girls to attack him? Grr it makes me so angry.

Posts: 394 | From: Manchester, Lancashire, England | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2610

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A little off the topic, but in defense of my parents, they didn't teach me my views on rape. At the time I took that lesson, I had just passed out of the indoctrination of a Catholic school. Despite the fact that I'd rejected the ideology there, I still had (and still have, though a lot less of them) lingering prejudices about things like that.
Carry on.

Posts: 140 | From: Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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My mom didn't really teach me anything about rape, but there was always the "If anyone touches you in a way you don't like ..." talk, and that can sort of be confusing to a little girl. Touching and sexual touching are very different things.

However, I was under the impression that rape in a marriage wasn't a chargeable offense. My mom actually told me that. After i was molested, i was scared outta my mind to ever get married or it would happen again. I eventually learned that that wasn't the case and asked my mom where she got this bizarro idea from.

I do understand what you're saying about the top thing. But not a lot of girls are attracted to mens breasts alone, while not the same can be said the other way around. In our culture, it's still a relatively new concept for women to be walking around topless ... in public. Those things should be covered up, in some peoples minds. And if they're not, then you deserve whatever happens to ya. And that's not fair.

As a sexual assault 'survivor', i can say this highly offends me. I don't think what he did was justified at all. It just can't be. It's an invasion of privacy no matter which way you look at it and it's not right. It's my body and no one has a right to touch it in a way that i say isn't acceptable.

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Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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My parents never said anything to me about rape or abuse. No "if someone touches you in a way you don't want them to . . ." talk or anything. The first time I even heard about rape was when I was about eight and there was a storyline about it on the show Sisters. That was my first "grownup" show I got to watch. I was very excited about it because I got to stay up until 11 o'clock on a Saturday night. One of the main character's 21 year old(I think) daughter was raped when she was jogging in the park. Then I think it was explained to me. I didn't know about acquaintance rape until I was at least eleven or twelve I think.

Limes Are Sublime

Posts: 1101 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I never got the talk about rape, abuse, or molestation either. I ended up learning the hard way. It angers me that people have these misconceptions about what rape is and actually think its ok in some situations, because its not. Rape is never ever ok. I'm glad they are trying to educate people about this fact. Though I wish it wasnt necessary.

Posts: 60 | From: near Indianapolis | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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