i know that scarelteen is pro-choice, but ive been wondering about abortion
what do you feel about it personally? do you think its right or wrong?
i used to be very against it, but i think some reality just hit me in the face because i think that i might be pregnant. there is no way i can have a baby. im president of the student council, im on swim team, how on earth can i have a baby? im 15! you might say it is my fault, and i totaly agree, its just weird that im a potential pregnant virgin. ( unsafe foreplay )
Even onm a personal level, I don't think you can generally feel abortion -- like any sort of surgery or birth control -- is "right" or "wrong" in an aabsolute sense.
There are times in my life when medical abortion has been or would have been right for me, and may someday still be. There are other times or situations in which it would not or has not been the right choice for my particular situation.
And you'll generally find that is the case with most women.
After all, if there's nothing wrong with your brain, brain surgery may not be right for you. On the other hand, if you have a tumor that might kill you or turn you into a vegetable, it is probably a good idea. And on many, many levels, abortion is a very similar situation.
The way I see it, abortion should not be used unless its absolutely necessary. It should be discouraged but not banned. The simple way to reduce abortion would be to tell people about pregnancy, so its strange that the anti-abortion lobby are also often anti-sex-ed. Very strange.
Posts: 711 | From: England | Registered: Nov 2000
| IP: Logged |
I don't know my opinons on abortion, really. I've never been pregnant and i don't know what it would be like, so i don't really know what i would choose to do in that situation.
My mom had an abortion about 10 years ago. She was going through chemotherapy as well, and they had advised her not to get pregnant. Well it happened anyway. They had put in an IUD to stop that from happening, but she got pregnant anyway ... She hemoragged from the IUD and would've ended up losing the baby and her own life, had she not had the abortion. They didn't even ask her ... She didn't really have a choice. Very sad, thinking back right now ... I would've had a 10 year old brother right now ...
I opted to have my abortion without being put to sleep and only a local aneasthetic. Even with only that, it really didn't hurt. The small pain I felt was a little like the pain from a shot -- a bit intense, but very short lived. Otherwise, it really felt no physically different than a pap smear.
Yes, you can still get pregnant and give birth later on, though if a person were to have abortion numerous times, the likliehood of miscarriage is higher.
In terms of my emotional feelings, no, I didn't feel bad. I took a few weeks of meditation and a lot of deep thought about my pregnancy, and what I would have felt very bad about was raising a child when I had no income or stable place to live (nor did I have health insurance so that I could get decent pre-natal care), and when I simply knew I could not be the sort of parent I feel any child of mine deserves. What I would have felt bad about, honestly, was feeling that I *had* to bring a child into the world when I knew I could not care for one properly, and did not want one.
As it turned out, I had an ectopic pregnancy and could not have carried that child to term anyway, but I'm very glad I didn't know that so that I had to go through that process of making those choices.
I have never had an abortion (and such a thing is unlikely in the forseeable future, unless my girlfriend is some kind of mutant). I have, however, accompanied my best friend to everything she needed to go through to get one. I can still remember that day, crystal clear. We didn't go to a clinic (none here offer abortive services), we went to a hospital. We had a nice room to sit in while she was waiting. Ten minutes after we arrived, another young woman came in. She was about 15, and this was her second pregnancy. We spoke to her, and she suddenly realised that aborting was not something she wanted to do. She left.
As an aside, does anyone know if Planned Parenthood supports peer counselling? I really doubt it, but ya never know.
I'm all for abortions for a few reasons. 1. This world is populated enough. 2. If there is no financial support or love or desire to have a small child running around, why have a small child running around? 3. If you don't want one, don't have one. (I think that's from a Northern Sun bumper sticker) Posts: 290 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged |
i consider myself to be very pro choice, but i was in a situation very very recently where i found myself unexpectedly pregnant. (i'd been taking birth control pills, and even occasionally using condoms. when they say nothing except complete abstinence is 100%, they're right.) after lots of crying, pacing, wondering, answering questions on my feelings about abortion.. i finally decided that my partner & i would keep the baby.
why? first of all, i do believe that i'll be able to achieve everything i've planned to when my baby arrives. sure, it's going to be a lot harder. a lot harder. but i refuse to be a stereotype as a mother, and i'm going to do all of this. also, perhaps most importantly, my boyfriend and i are absolutely madly in love. i think that creating a child is one of the most amazing things in the world, and i couldn't stand to get rid of something that my boyfriend & i created.. something that was both of us together.
has my pro-choice attitude changed? not a bit. i'm maybe even more pro-choice than before, and i'm planning on doing some activism for planned parenthood of chicago when i have more time (school and work are consuming at the moment) and i'm feeling better. (i haven't been feeling so well since i got pregnant)
in conclusion: i really don't believe you can ever know what is right for YOU. you can denote yourself as pro-choice or pro-life (i hate that term..), but you'll never really know unless you've had to make the decision.
------------------ "i need to wash myself again to hide all the dirt and pain, 'cos i'd be scared that there's nothing underneath"- radiohead
i consider myself to be pro-choice, but on a very semantic level, i find it to be a very bad thing (not the greatest choice of words, but "wrong" simply doesn't convey my point because it's not "wrong"). but i do wish the world were a better place and all children could receive the care, love and resources they need for a decent life.
nonetheless, you can't pass that sort of judgement on anybody, especially yourself, because there is always that possibility that it could be you next time. i don't think i could ever go through an abortion, but i can't be too sure because it's not something that has ever come up.
one thing's for sure, i will never stand in the way of any woman's right to choose. surely, it's hard enough to make that choice without having one hundred angry protesters shouting angry words of damnation.
------------------ The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that the universe is constantly moving to a state of greater entropy s, therefore, delta s is always greater than zero.
Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000
| IP: Logged |
Abortions have been an issue on my mind lately. I'm very much pro-choice, but I know that I would never choose an abortion for myself unless the birth would kill the both of us. If I did get preggers and wasn't in a situation where I could provide for a child, I'd place it up for adoption. Preferably, I'd keep in close contact with the family. Hopefully, that will never happen, since I'm a virgin and plan to stay that way for as long as possible. When I do decide to have sex, I'm gonna follow that readiness checklist like the Bible. <g>
My mom has been pregnant five times, and had four abortions. This really made me think about abortions, since I learned it recently. The whole thing scared me a little, knowing now that I might have four brothers and/or sisters running about. The fourth abortion was done when I was seven years old, and my mom had a steady job. She had an abortion because my father didn't want the baby. Strangely, she lost her steady job soon after the abortion, so I suppose it all worked out for the best. But I still feel touchy about the issue.
I still support the right to choose, but I know an abortion could never be right for me. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night, I just know myself well enough to know that. For some women, it is the right choice, and for others, it isn't. The key word, though, is and always will be *choice*.
------------------ ...an angel who didn't so much fall as saunter vaguely downwards...
"Ni! Ni! Niii!" -Monty Python & the Holy Grail
"Ennui is insufficient reason to commit suicide." -Neil Gaiman
I feel the same way--I very strongly support the right to choose... but I'm really confident that I myself wouldn't choose to have an abortion unless my life was at risk. I'm also very confident that if I had to, I could care properly for a child and for myself--that I have the psychological/mental/physical/knowledge-based/social resources to do that. This is why I choose to have intercourse.... Don't get me wrong, I'll still totally freak out if I don't get my period in a week and a half! But ultimately, I think my partner and I would make it work out.
Posts: 257 | From: Sarasota, FL | Registered: Jan 2001
| IP: Logged |
I've heard many stories of women inducing their own abortions - not with objects inserted into themselves, (shudder!) by by using a mixture of herbs in tea form. Honestly, The concept has always fascinated me in terms of women's history. Do these natural abortiificants work? Safely? Is there a high success rate? Where can I read more about this?
With our abortion rights hanging, rather tenuously, in the balance of a new administration that, despite what they say, would like nothing more than to make abortion illegal, i wonder if this is actually a viable alternative for some women.
Herbal abortifaecents can work, but you're going to have a tough time reading about it.
because to my understanding in working with herbalism for 15 years now, in talking to other female herbalists and natural healthcare practictioners, there are two reasons.
1) They are NOT as safe as medical abortion, nor as reliable. They are toxic by defintion, and when not administered correctly or with supervision, can be fatal or make the user VERY ill.
2) In the case aborion does again become illegal, herbalists (myself included) keep the recipes we know to be effective under lock and key, because someday we may need them again, and do not want herbal remedies to also be outlawed, or the ingredients banned.
While I feel that is a reasonable opinion to have, it is necessary to realise that adoption is not that simple. Adoption is a fairly slow process and as shown in some recent news frequently corrupted with healthy babies going to the highest bidder! It takes a long time to analyse people for their capability of parenting and they then try to match the right children with the right parents. Its all very complicated and at the moment there are thousands (I dont know the figures myself maybe someone esle could back me up) of children in orphnages.
Posts: 711 | From: England | Registered: Nov 2000
| IP: Logged |
The way to have conversations about personal feelings best is to simply talk about why you *would do* any one thing or another.
Calling what someone else might do this thing or that is judgemental, and makes for a poor environment for comfortable discussion.
Confused, it's more like hundreds of thousands. As I stated in a previous post on this topic, in the U.S. alone, there now are close to 500,000 children in the foster care system, and only about 50,000 are cleared for adoption each year. And life in foster care can often be highly traumatic. My boyfriend in high school who eventually comitted suicide spent his life in foster care and was molested, raped and beaten at four out of the six care houses he lived in.
The National Council for Adoption estimates that of those 50,000, 25,000 are healthy children under age two, 10,000 are healthy children over age two, and only 15,000 are children with "special needs," which can mean anything from a child being of a difficult age for placement, being of a race other than caucasian or from a different country, or the needf to be placed with siblings. In rare cases, those are children with developmental disabilities, HIV or drug-addiction. Very rarely. According to a recent congressional report, only about 2 percent of infants born with HIV or drug-addicted will ever end up with an adoptive family. Most will be shuttled from foster home to foster home. Many will end up that way and then back in the care of their biological mothers if said mother is found after abandoing the baby, or after the mother is released from rehab or prison or what have you.
So, there are several choices. Really, NONE of them are easy, nor can any of them be looked at arbitrarily. It's very subjective stuff, and one situation is not "better" than another in any general sense.
I myself, am pro-choice, although I'm not sure if I would be able to make myself get one if I was in that situation. I feel that abortion is someones own choice- whether it is the best choice or not- and they have to make that decision themselves. No one should be able to tell them whether what they have decided to do is good or bad. It's their choice to make, and that doesn't make them a bad person or anything.
People get abortions for many reasons- maybe because having a baby would be risky to their health, maybe they wouldn't have the money, housing, etc. to take care of a baby, who knows? Plus, it's taking more responsibility than having the baby and abandoning it or killing it after it's born. But I feel that it's not good to have an abortion for the wrong reason- just because it's available doesn't make it okay to have unsafe sex and risk pregnancy. (I hope that didn't sound snotty- you probably know what I meant.) Abortion should be a last option (if necessary).
Actually, what's the right reason or wrong reason to have an abortion is again very subjective. I do not actually feel there are any right or wrong reasons to have abortion.
With the exception of abortion being used as a form of contraception. And may I just state once again, abortion is not a form of contraception and should not be used as such.
Bottomline, none of us are really in a position to judge another's actions. I am very pro-choice but as most people here have stated, I am not too sure if I will actually have an abortion if I got pregnant.
My answer used to be in the affirmitive before I came here and met so many wonderful single mums. And I realise that having a baby isn't the end of the world and hey, I can bring up a child if I really want to. So kudos to all you wonderful teen mums. Or dads.
That's what I meant by "the wrong reason"- abortion shouldn't be used as a form of contraception. THAT, in my opinion, would not be a good reason to get one. Other than that, I agree that there wouldn't be a "wrong" reason to get an abortion.
[This message has been edited by Lucky1402 (edited 05-13-2001).]
I fnd this whole subject very difficult because I am, I suppose pro-life. But I don't hate people who have abortions and I strongly believe that abortion should be legal. (Knitting needles and back street 'clinics' do not support life, but they would be all that would come out of criminalising abortion) Thing is, I think it really comes down to whether you believe life at conception or at birth. I honestly believe it starts at conception, and because of that, I could never end it. And if you believe that a foetus is a life, then the 'it's better not to have a baby whose quality of life will be poor' argument doesn't really wash. If that's the principle you are working on (if and only if you believe the foetus is a person) then it kind of implies that we should shoot poor people and disabled people. But I accept that to many people a foetus is not a life but a potential for one, and I suppose that is completely your own choice. It's just so sad that this debate has to go on at all, all the time. it splits society and it inflames emotions. Wouldn't it be lovely to have an ideal world in which every child concieved was wanted, every teenager who became pregnant could be sure of recieving the support and help she needed to keep the baby and still live her life the way she wanted. But we don't live in that world, and that's why although I find them upsetting, I can live with abortions.
I have tried very hard not to make this offensive to anyone but just a reasoned explanation of my own views which I have been developing over the years and I hope I have succeeded but tell me if I haven't just please don't be too harsh on me I have PMT and a headache and a lot of important exams coming up and 'm very sensitive!
Posts: 394 | From: Manchester, Lancashire, England | Registered: Dec 2000
| IP: Logged |
Note from Miz S: Caty, I am really sorry -- you're more than welcome to speak to your opinions here, but I need to ask that you do it in way which allows for ALL legal and available choices, or which speaks only to your PERSONAL choice, for yourself, without judging others or laying out arbitrary moral value judgements and hurtful statements towards other users.
So, if you want to try again, great, just bear the guidelines in the registration aggreement and the above in mind.
[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 05-15-2001).]
Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.