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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Who's responsible when it comes to birth control and std prevention?

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Author Topic: Who's responsible when it comes to birth control and std prevention?
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 78

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Birth control options at this time are mainly offered to women (diaphram, caps, IUDs, birth control pills, depo, etc...) with condoms which serve two functions (birth control and the prevention of std transmission) used by males. Dams and gloves mostly prevent the transmission of STD's but if you use fresh ones for each sexual activity it can help for birth control (when direct penis-vagina contact is not an issue).

My question is this, given the options available, who pays for these methods, both in your real day to day life and who do think should pay for it?

Louise Lalonde
-Scarleteen Sexpert & Volunteer du Jour

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And glad to just be me"
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[This message has been edited by bettie (edited 03-17-2001).]

Posts: 1060 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2059

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hmmm...good question. in my relationship, none of that has ever really been an issue. part of that is that money is fortunately not really an issue for either of us. i'm on birth control pills, and my parents pay for that because i was on them way before i started having sex, for non sex-related reasons. anyway it's mostly covered by insurance. that has never been an issue.

we also use condoms, though, and we both buy them. i mean, i guess he would do it himself, but i like going to the condom store and buying stuff, so i spend money on that too. it's a good arrangement. we've never really had to discuss who pays for birth control.


Once in awhile you get shown the light
in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

-The Grateful Dead

Posts: 786 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2254

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Good question. In my case, the answer is the same as it is for everything, financially. Whoever has money pays for it. Being college students, one or the other of us is broke often as not, and in those cases, whoever hasa $ buys things we need, like groceries and birth control. We get durex condoms for free, so that's never really an issue. When we want other condoms, I suppose Ryan usually gets them. I bought my speculum and thermometer, but he bought my ladytester. I tend to buy books on sex. He tends to buy sex toys. Now that I think of it, I'm not sure why it's worked out that way. Not intentional. I'm going to pay for my gyne appointment this week, 'cause I have money for it. My parents might pay me back if they ask them to.. they always offer to for medical things... but dad's left his day job and they've just started two home businesses and are trying to sell the house and move farther out. I'm awfully proud of them, and I don't want to make things any more difficult.

But yes, I suppose I do tend to be the one who's more involved in birthcontrol...I mean, even just as much as, I'm the one who comes to Scarleteen every day. I'm the one who researched birthcontrol before we started having sex. I'm the one who knows where I'm at in my cycle and if it's safer to have intercourse or not... although the chart is sitting right on the bloody desktop, and he should know how to read it by now.. but I can understand how it's hard to get into the habit of checking something that hardly changes at all each day (or not at all, if I've forgotten for a day or gotten up late or some such). Whereas I have to look at it everyday, otherwise there's no chart.

Anyway, he's very good (sometimes better than me) at always insisting on double or triple protection. He always comes with me to the gyne. He does know how to read my charts. He pays for anything we need if he has more money, and I pay if I have more money. The boy also cooks dinner and cleans the rooms and does dishes and laundry. And give backrubs. And reads bedtime stories.

Who should pay for it? I don't know... am I supposed to say that both partners should pay for it equally? I won't, because that's awfully simplistic. Whoever has the money to pay for it, whoever feels more comfortable paying for it, just as long as both partners realize that these things are necessities that need to get paid for if sexual activity's goingn to take place.

Posts: 257 | From: Sarasota, FL | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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we split the cost down the middle. my pills are free (thanks Daddy! ). But my boyfriend and I take turns buying condoms. I usually buy lube though. I don't know how, but it always works out that way, but seeing as i have found a place cheaper than Good Vibes (oh no! now i don't have any real reason to go to Good Vibes anymore!!!) and we're running low, I can send him off to buy some. We pay for our own checkups. That, though, is kinda unfair 'cause his checkup costs $16, but mine (a more invasive procedure) costs $36. But in all, we don't argue over the cost (e.g., "aww, but i paid for it last time!").

This space reserved for the free exchange of thoughts and ideas.

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 226

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I'm just curious...
My girlfriend's birth control pills cost her $Cdn 3.90 per month, after the government subsidies for prescriptions and her university health plan are figured in. How much does it cost elsewhere?

Also, on a related note, if you're looking for cheap condoms, check out university campus health centres. If you look like you could pass as a university student... go! I go to mine (I'm actually a student, though) and I pay a dollar for four of 'em. From my experience, it seems they never ask to see student ID cards.

Posts: 1515 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2059

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my pills cost me $5. that's how much most of my prescriptions cost because of my health plan (i have generic pills, though...non-generics cost more. it's annoying.) 3.90 canadian is how much american? like $2.60? (i don't know the exact exchange rate...i just looked at the back of a book, you know, they list the price in american and canadian...ok, i'm weird...)

at ben's school, they give away free condoms in the health center. but we're picky so we buy our own.


Once in awhile you get shown the light
in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

-The Grateful Dead

Posts: 786 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1896

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My insurance pays for my pill, because I'm on it for medical reasons. And I'm actually quite happy about that, for once.

In regards to safer sex supply, I must admit I'm the one who pays for it. It just happens. We have a long distance relationship, and being the one who's always better prepared, it's me who gets the stuff in advance. Or the one who introduces something new, like a new lube or whatever. I don't mind it though. I really don't - as we don't have a 3D sex life most of the time, the cost isn't too high. He pays for other things though. We don't balance out all the other things we spend money on, so sex is no exception, In all, I think it measures up equally anyway. So I'm fine the way it is. Even though it would make me happy to see him make an extra effort and get and pay for some supplies, too.

Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Well, when we were still using condoms, I'd buy thm, but we only spent 10-20 on them anyway, so it wasn't much of a hassle.

When she moved onto the pill, I offered to contribute, but turns out that she gets it free because she's a student... cool

Posts: 105 | From: London | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 26

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We take turns skipping into supermarkets/servo's and saying as loudly as possible "CAN I PLEASE HAVE AN EXTRA LARGE BOX OF CONDOMS?!", we try to outdo each other

I think it's the responsibility of both parties, though I'd never expect a man to pay for my BC pills any more than I'd expect him to help pay for my sanitary products I guess it's just a personal thing.

By paying for birth control myself, I feel that I am taking more control of protecting myself


Posts: 1030 | From: Aotearoa | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

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My birth control pills are $9/pack (United States dollars) because my university subsidizes the cost. Since I"m on them for medical reasons (they actually probably don't work so well as birth control becuase of my weird body chemistry) my insurance might cover them if the university health care system didn't.

My partners and I seem to take turns paying for condoms, lube, and any other supplies.


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Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33

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My insurance covers most of my pill; the rest, I pay for. It would be nice, I suppose, for help with this (considering I'm the one who has to take it, and all) but money situations are kind of weird right now with him, so this is just the way it is.

I don't remember him ever buying condoms, but somehow, this doesn't really bother me. I have money to expend, and he doesn't, so I buy the condoms.

No big deal.

~lemming, Scarleteen Advocate

want to know the inner lemming? read her diary at
"Is love like the sweet, bitter taste of marmalade on burnt toast?"

Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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