Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Catholic and Masturbation

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Catholic and Masturbation
karina582
Neophyte
Member # 2181

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karina582     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Boy! I'm just asking away tonight arn't I?! (I had so many questions before I was registered and now I'm blasting away!!) Of course upon checking search I didn't really find a "answer-answer". I was wondering (I dunno-is anyone Catholic or Christian around who can direct me?)welll-I was wondering if it was okay to be Catholic and masturbate? I KNOW I KNOW you're not my priest or anything-ah! It's such a hard topic to tackle-but I can't just go to confession and ask father if maturbation is a sin (he might have a heart attack ). Some guy in my fellowship gave me a bible verse and told me that it is not a sin-but some people feel that it is a sin cause the "organsm" feeling is suppose to be saved for until you're married and making love. AHHHH! I'm feeling sooo confused....what do you guys think?

------------------

quote:
"Mistakes are lessons of wisdom"-Mariott Hotel Freeway Sign

Posts: 38 | From: Irvine, CA USA | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sexperk
Neophyte
Member # 2147

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Sexperk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
As you know, Karina, no one can be your priest, but I can tell you what I know.

My best friend actually asked his catholic priest that exact question after his father freaked out over seeing him masturbate. The priest said that no, masturbation is not a sin. He said that the church can be doctrinally ambivalent on that point, but that it was his opinion that masturbation was an acceptable way to deal with sexual feelings, especially when a partner is unavailable. What is a priest going to say?--"No, it would be better to go and rape someone?" I don't think so.

Personally, I think each person should be their own guide for morality, but then I'm cooky. I say that if it feels good, it is good, and if it feels wrong, it is a situation that needs to be examined and talked out.

I compromise--I masturbate religiously.

------------------
Honesty is telling others the truth. Integrity is telling yourself the truth.


Posts: 23 | From: Sin City | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
In all truth, you should ask your own priest or pastor. if you can't ask your spiritual leader or counselor questions like this, then you aren't letting them do their job, and for the most partt, most religious leaders I have met in my life are really good people who are ready to answer these sorts of questions. But you have to ask.

I should also add that there is no mention of orgasm in the Bible -- no one had that terminology then or knew what it was, and historically, you would have been hard pressed to find any time before say, the last 100 years, when any western culture even recognized female orgasm or sexual pleasure overall.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mophead
Activist
Member # 7

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mophead     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My church never mentions masturbation. I guess they assume nobody does it. I do. I don't think anybody would care if they knew, though. Maybe that idea of going to the confessional was a good idea. The bible doesn't say anything about having orgasms only in marriage... babies have orgasms. I think God has better things to worry about, but that's just me.

------------------
My menstrual diary
Updated as often as my uterus


Posts: 752 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
italianboy84
Activist
Member # 6033

Icon 1 posted      Profile for italianboy84     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The Church considers it a sin. That's the doctrine, and no priest can go against that. BUT the level of maturity has to be taken into account.
I do go to confession, and masturbation is something I do talk about when I meet with my priest. it is a sin, but according to my Catholic faith, God always forgives, in the name of Christ.
Sex is between two married people of different sex. Not sex with yourself.

------------------
I love God, I believe that my virginity is a gift to be given to the woman of my life, at marriage, with God's blessing. I love and respect life.


Posts: 48 | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Italian, do consider this a last warning.

In truth, the definition of sex as a physiological and psychological act is vague in everything from dictionaries to doctrines, but overall what it is is what any given person feels is sexually fulfilling. What you are describing is sexual intercourse.

If you want to make statements like that, you need to preface them with "For myself, I feel that sex is what I am having/will have as intercourse with an opposite sex parnter to whom I am married." Now, while that may not mesh with discussing sex (and would make premarital sex nonexistant, mind you, negating other statements of yours), you can certainly feel that way *for you.* But per the guidelines, which you have now been reminded of more than once, arbitrary statements such as those made to apply to everyone just aren't okay.

So, if you want to stick around, you need to work within the guidelines. if you can't, then it'd likely be best you found another forum which serves your purposes better.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
italianboy84
Activist
Member # 6033

Icon 1 posted      Profile for italianboy84     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi,
but the question here was clear, what the Church teaches about matrubation. I've answered, but I don't know if I can put passages from the Catechism of the Catholic Church to show what the Church really teaches on the matter of masturbation. is it possible or that is considered as "proselytizing"?

I also have to correct something that was said that the Bible doesn't talk about orgasm, but it does talk about procreation and sexual ethics. Again, i don't know if I can write more and specifically because then I'm seen as a porselytizer...so I gotta pay attention. Right?

------------------
I love God, I believe that my virginity is a gift to be given to the woman of my life, at marriage, with God's blessing. I love and respect life.


Posts: 48 | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KittenGoddess
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

Icon 1 posted      Profile for KittenGoddess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, italianboy84, lemme try to explain what the problem with your approach is here. What you believe that Catholic faith, and your specific church tells you about masturbation and sex is just fine for you. However, different churches, even within the Catholic faith, choose to interpret things different ways. The level to which each church may modernize their teachings, and the level of importance that they place on something like masturbation may quite well vary. So really, unless you've suddenly become the priest at this poster's church, or the Pope, then you're only qualified to speak for yourself and for your church's teachings. Even within the Catholic church there are different interpretations, and you're just really not qualified to say "this is the way it is", the same way I wouldn't even consider speaking that way to a Christian (which is my religious orientation). I would say "this is what I believe and what my church teaches, but if you have questions about it, then I suggest you speak to your pastor." Additionally, everybody's interpretation about the Bible and what it does or doesn't say is different. There are many things the Bible does speak about, many things it doesn't speak about, and many grey areas where everybody has to interpret it their own way. The Bible may not talk about orgasms (which wasn't a known concept at the time the Bible was written), but it also doesn't discuss McDonalds or brain surgery either.

Do you see the difference?

I'll be honest with ya here buddy, not that you'll listen to me since you haven't listened to anyone else so far. Ya wanna know why you're always seen as "proselytizing"? It's because each and every post you've made has been about how sex or masturbation is bad and is a sin, etc. It's your negative attitude, and the way you're out to "save" everybody here. That sir, is what the problem is. If you actually read around the site, you'll find numerous places where we encourage abstinance until an individual is ready. We aren't anti-abstinance. But we are pro-choice and that applies to all areas of sexuality. If you want to post, and say that you've chosen to abstain, and not to masturbate, and you've chosen such because your church does not agree with any sexuality outside marriage, then hey, that's just perfectly fine. But what you do is post about how sex is a sin, and masturbation is a sin, and everybody needs to do something more profitable with their time and that God will forgive them...and then you stick a disclaimer about it being your opinion on it. You're tossing in alot of guilt where it's not your place to do so and passing alot of judgment that is also not yours to pass.

Are we asking too much from ya here? If you're not prepared to accept that others have made choices that are not the same as yours, then I suggest you leave.

We are not your community service project. Kindly remember this.

------------------
~KittenGoddess
Scarleteen Advocate

There's hair there for a reason!

"Never insult an alligator until after you've crossed the river." ~Oriental Proverb


Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
italianboy84
Activist
Member # 6033

Icon 1 posted      Profile for italianboy84     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I personally think sex is wonderful only in the contexy of marriage. Then you might think differently...
Then there are some thing: I study the Church....and since you said things about the Church that are confusing and untrue I want to make things clear. The Catholic Church over the world HAS to follow the Catholic teachings, same worldwide. The Church teachings HAVE to be the same wordlwide. If some priests preach the opposite of what he's meant to preach, then he just confuses people. In fact the Church is called universal also because its teachings ARE THE SAME worldwide. Or at least SHOULD be.
What's in the Official Catechism of the Church, also approved by the Pope, IS what we, as Catholics, consider as the TRUTH.
I just wanted to clarify here...because you've been preaching that the Catholic Church can be different.......instead it's not like that at all. And that's not my opinion, it is a basic fact of the Catholic Church. Like it or not.
And don't call me a preacher, because you have been preaching that the Catholic Church can be different, when it's not true. Before talking about other relgions and creeds I think it's essnetial and important to inform ourselves to have a constructive dialogue.

------------------
I love God, I believe that my virginity is a gift to be given to the woman of my life, at marriage, with God's blessing. I love and respect life.


Posts: 48 | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
italianboy84
Activist
Member # 6033

Icon 1 posted      Profile for italianboy84     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Don't get me wrong, the Catechism of the Catholic Church obviously is mainly based on Bible's teachings..we obviously do believe in the Bible, of course. You know that, too.

------------------
I love God, I believe that my virginity is a gift to be given to the woman of my life, at marriage, with God's blessing. I love and respect life.


Posts: 48 | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dzuunmod
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 226

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Dzuunmod     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
<offtopic, I apologize>
The thing is, italianboy, that there are actually different interpretations of things within Catholocism. Right now, for instance, various Cardinals and such are jockeying for position in the unofficial race to replace the Pope. They all have different opinions on certain things - some are more liberal than others, and whoever gets picked as the next Pope will determine the direction of the church, to some extent, for years to come.

While the Bible determines how Catholics live, in practice, the Pope also does so.


Posts: 1515 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
italianboy84
Activist
Member # 6033

Icon 1 posted      Profile for italianboy84     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I know but the decision of a Pope has nothing to do with doctrine.
Ok, thank you for making me notice so I can calrify. The Roman Catholic doctrine is one, that's it. If then some priests think differently, too bad, the doctrine is one anyways.

------------------
I love God, I believe that my virginity is a gift to be given to the woman of my life, at marriage, with God's blessing. I love and respect life.


Posts: 48 | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Jill     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
In my experience with the Catholic church (I'm not Catholic but my family is so I went to church for years and still do on rare occasion.) I was never told not to masturbate or that masturbation was wrong or that orgasm outside of marital sex was wrong. Not once.

In the course of my church going years we had two different priests, neither of them condemned masturbation. In any of the other Catholic churches I've been to masturbation was never mentioned but it's highly likely that I just wasn't present on any of the days it was discussed. All of this leads me to wonder just where in Catholic doctrine that it states masturbation is wrong? If it's there you'd think I'd have gotten the message somewhere down the line.


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
italianboy84
Activist
Member # 6033

Icon 1 posted      Profile for italianboy84     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That's the big problem: many people don't know the Church's teachings on sexuality. Yes, some priests do not discuss this and you're absolutely right. I know some good priests very up to date that know how to deal with young people and say stuff, but some priests are too "afraid" of talking about the subject. I admit that.

------------------
I love God, I believe that my virginity is a gift to be given to the woman of my life, at marriage, with God's blessing. I love and respect life.


Posts: 48 | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alaska
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1896

Icon 1 posted      Profile for alaska     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I was raised catholic, and like ookutoe, I too never got to hear any teachings on sexuality, be it masturbation or otherwise.

It simply wasn't such a focus in the german branch of the catholic church as it seems to be for catholics in other places: from what I learned (and how I understand the catholic belief as I was taught) there are many many more important things you need to do to be a "good catholic" or "good christian" than not masturbating or abstaining from sex outside marriage.

Over here, the Catholic church is surprisingly positive towards sexuality, and even though the Pope forbid the involvement of the german bishops in abortion counselling (which is required by law over here), the dioceses have no founded organisations through which the counselling can be offered.
German catholics (outside Bavaria) are a bit rebellious. And really wouldn't make avoiding masturbation a focus for the teachings to young people.

------------------
Caro
~Scarleteen Sexpert~

"Through repetition the magic will be forced to rise."
Alchemical Precept

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 12-02-2001).]


Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kitty pryde
Neophyte
Member # 6193

Icon 1 posted      Profile for kitty pryde     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Having been raised Catholic, I'm going to point out that this is the kind of issue Catholics can have a lot of disagreement over. However, if you want to know the most mainstream Catholic opinion on an issue, you can always search this online Catechism. Here's what it says on masturbation:

quote:
By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action." "The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose." For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects' moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.


But, I repeat, that does NOT mean this isn't something about which faithful Catholics can disagree.


Posts: 22 | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dude_who_writes
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5640

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Dude_who_writes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Even though this topic is on the verge of dying, I have to toss my two cents in. For future reference (because I'm sure that this post will be reviewed thanks to the search engine ) I came across this handy-dandy chart that was originally run in the San Francisco Chronicle in 1994, on the common standings of different religions on sexual topics.

Religion and Sexual Ethics

Hopefully this will help most of you who are worried about how their faith treats certian orentations and sexual practices.

[Edited for clairty and spell-check.]
---------------------
Tim (a.k.a. the dude)
---------------------
"Don't knock masturbation-- it's sex with someone I love" -- Woody Allen

[This message has been edited by Dude_who_writes (edited 12-23-2001).]


Posts: 712 | From: Michigan, US | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just a small note, Dude: your posts have been really helpful, and I appreciate the trouble you go to to find people interesting supporting information via links.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Apoc-chan
Neophyte
Member # 8432

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Apoc-chan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That link is fantastic. I'm bookmarking that.

And becoming a Buddhist. :P


Posts: 25 | From: Nowhere in particular | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

Icon 11 posted      Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i dunno. i follow a pretty dharma-centric interpretation of Buddhism, and I think that chart is a little too permissive on a few things. like their listing for married clergy is listed as no official stance. but if i'm not mistaken, one of the monk's precepts (rules to follow) is that they must be celibate. And abortion is usually considered to be an act of bad karma, although it's not discouraged nearly as vehemently as in many other religions.

other than that, *shrug* i never heard anything about masturbation either way, but i don't see how it violates the third precept dealing with sexual activity: you will not use sex to harm yourself or others. so it's all good in that respect

------------------
"Things are only fragile till they break."


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Maharet
Activist
Member # 3806

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Maharet     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This is pretty much the same information that Dude Who Writes just in a slightly different presentation by different people. It also shows the stance of Unitarian Universalists and Wiccans (which is why I'm "re-posting" the information), although, as a Wiccan I'm mildly suprised at the neutral stance on "Homosexual sex acts" I would have thought it was at least "morally acceptable" if not "blessed". (shrug).
http://www.religioustolerance.org/sex_chur.htm

(Warning: Shameless Plug!) Anyway, these people do a great site on religion all around, it's worth checking out the rest of it.

------------------
"If you don't like gays, then they're everywhere, coming out of the woodwork to corrupt little children... but if you are gay, especially if you're in high school, you're the only one in the universe..."


Posts: 66 | From: Perth, Australia | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Whatsthatmommy
Activist
Member # 7869

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Whatsthatmommy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Catholic in latin means "All welcome" (although it doesnt seem so to there doctrine) And masterbation is not a sin according to it's doctrine. I have read the bible and i know the Verses people use to smash masterbation. But They do not really intended to target masterbation. And a lot of the catholic doctine is also based on old Israelite laws wich should be re-evalutated.

------------------
"I believe everyody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string."
-Scott Adams


Posts: 69 | From: USA | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sunset_Rose
Activist
Member # 10181

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Sunset_Rose     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Apoc-chan:
That link is fantastic. I'm bookmarking that.

And becoming a Buddhist. :P


Hey, i totally agree! Nice link, gr8 to know what ppl think. And I definatly agree about the Buddhist thing! An open-minded religion!


Posts: 123 | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3