Scott, I am actually WELL aware that there are many issues related to large age differences that may factor in other than the actual ages themselves. Things like life experience and personality commanalities. In fact, most of my friends date older guys to a certain degree. When I was 18 I was dating a 23 year old, and being 19 now, I've dated a 26 year old and flirted with the idea of dating a 29 year old. I really am not ageist when I know the two people involved are in it for the right reasons. And when I say the right reasons, I don't mean to sound judgemental. It's just, my friend who might have married the 27 year old has always been incredibly clingy in relationships to an unhealthy degree. Because she has very little sense of self-worth she'll let guys overstep her boundaries (both emotionally and sexually) and IMMEDIATELY before she got together with the 27 year old, she had been used by two friends of his, 26 and 28 respectively. The only reason I have doubts about their relationship is because I've seen her behavior in previous relationships. I really didn't mean to sound ageist, because quite frequently I have an interest in older guys and I understand there are a multitude of factors more important than how old the person you are dating is.
Posts: 218 | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged |
well i'm 18 dating a soon to be 15 yr old... we love each other so much i've tried the 2 years even 4 years older then me but they dont seem to care what i want and need but she does she also helps me tru anything in life htat i need help in so 3 years isnt that bad.............
Posts: 46 | From: west palm beach fl | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged |
I am 18 and my SO is 23. Our age difference is never a big deal, unless he wants to go see a band at the one 21 and up bar in town. Then we have guys/girls nights out.
I think that our age difference is not a problem now because we are essentially at the same stage in our lives. Granted, I still have a couple more years of college (yes, only 2- I started early) and he already has his degree, so he is "ahead" of me in the education dept. Financially we are both on the same level. I own my home (trailer- but its still mine) and we both have paid off cars and no credit card debt or student loans. We are both working toward the same goals- saving for a down payment on a house, building credit, establishing our careers, etc. Having the same short-term goals is great, because we can more fully support one another and we really understand what is going on in the others life.
I will admit that when I was younger I "dated" guys that we way too old for me. When I was 13 I was "dating" an 18 year old (same age diff. as me and current SO, but so different!). I regret a lot of the decisions I made in the past regarding the age of my boyfriends. I wanted to grow up; I just couldn't wait. Well, now that its happened, I wish I had enjoyed my early teenhood a little more. I have only been an adult for a short time, and I am so tired already! But, there was nothing anyone could say or do to me at the time to convince me of this.
Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.