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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » The Randoms » Disappointed by my parents

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Author Topic: Disappointed by my parents
Member # 45424

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In general my parents gave me a nice life. I never went to bed hungry, always had new clothes, shoes, electronics.. whenever they could, they would give me what I wanted. But emotionally my parents are checked out.

When I was younger my parents never would ask how my day was going, and not really involved in my personal life. They said school is for school and home is for home. Saying that situations that dont involve my family stay at school(my social life).

I dont know if that was a get out of jail free card for them, so that they never had to hear my problems or what?! I kind of just grew up that way, and never talked to them about what was upsetting me, how I felt, what happend during my day that made me happy. Nothing.

But now that I am getting older, I want to talk to them more. I graduated out of high school a year ago. Took a year off to just relax from school.. during that year, I met my boyfriend, we have been together for almost ten months..and he means everything to me. I love him so much, and I am so happy.. that I just want to tell my parents how i feel. I want to share with them just how happy I am. But they never want to hear it. They think we're imature and will break up eventually. They arent supportive in my relationship, and always make fun of us. Its so heartbreaking because his family is so supportive of us, and respects our relationship together. It makes me so sad because I WISH my family was that way too.

My boyfriend always talk about marriage and moving in together, but my family doesnt even think we will make it that far. It is so heartbreaking because I want to share my happiness with them, but they just shut me down..

I dont know what to do, Im so disappointed and ashamed of my family..

Posts: 39 | From: Nevada | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 44734

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I can partly understand how you feel. Just like you, I never lacked anything in terms of education and care, but as I was growing up, there was never that strong emotional bond some people have with their parents. They never asked about how I was doing, and I felt I could never really approach them. They didn't teach me anything about sexuality, or the fundamentals of growing up. It's not that they didn't love me, because I know they did (and still do), but maybe they were afraid to talk to me about those things.

One day, I just told my mom about it, and she said that she was kind of sad that I didn't tell her any personal stuff, so I explained what I felt. It wasn't that bad, actually. It didn't fix everything, but I felt better. I realize now that if I want a bond with my parents, I'll have to build it slowly, and take some steps myself.

Perhaps you can do the same. Think about what you want your parents to know, and set some time aside and speak to them seriously and honestly. Tell them it hurts you when they say your boyfriend and you are immature, that you want them to respect your relationship. Maybe they'll change. Do your best.

Sorry nobody replied to your post before. Hope this helps. [Smile]

Posts: 132 | From: La La Land | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 49104

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Have you considered sitting them down and telling them how you feel? Often times people don't even realize the things they do and the resulting damage to other people without being told direct.
Posts: 84 | From: baltimore,maryland | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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