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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » The Randoms » The great things about being single!

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Author Topic: The great things about being single!
Scarleteen Volunteer
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In honor of my recent breakup, I thought that instead of moping, it might be a good idea to compile a list of all the GOOD things about being single and/or not having sex.

I'll start:

1. It sure is nice to not have to worry about getting pregnant.

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Executive Director & Founder
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Well, the times I have been single, that often did not mean not having sex, but I can still add some things to your list, even though I'm not at the moment.

2. Having much more time for my own creative projects and work.

3. Being more able to be spontaneous without having to check in with anyone, like being able to just jump on my bike for an afternoon spin or head out with friends for the night.

4. Finding only my own laundry in my laundry piles. [Smile]

5. Being able to make long-term plans without negotiating them with anyone.

6. Making dinner for one. Especially dinner no one else in the world would want to eat but me.

7. Being able to play piano at 3 AM without bothering anyone else.

8. Casual dating! I always had fun dating. Even bad dates make for great stories.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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This is a good idea for a thread, atonement! I do agree with Heather that being single and not having sex aren't automatically or necessarily exclusive, so I'll focus on the being single part. I love the suggestions thus far! [Smile]

9. Catching up with old friends and even making new ones! (I enjoy sending snail mail to friends, which they enjoy receiving, if I may say so myself. [Wink] )

10. Spending your hard-earned cash on yourself (as well as other deserving people and causes) because while you really wouldn't/shouldn't be in a situation where you're bankrolling the other person, you can save the money you would have spent treating the other person to meals or the like and use it for yourself.

11. Exploring your solo sexuality. (I'm thinking: 10 of the Best Things You Can Do for Your Sexual Self (at Any Age))

12. Traveling to new places (This especially applies to people who were in LDRs and had been prioritizing visits to their partner over other travel opportunities.)

13. Having more time to think about yourself and reflect on your own life. (That sounds really egotistical but it can be nice to focus on yourself after spending so much time and energy thinking of someone else.)

14. Volunteering more!

[ 04-05-2010, 01:41 AM: Message edited by: Ecofem ]

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DISCLAIMER: of course not every relationship impacts on all of these things, I'm just speaking in terms of things relationships can limit/impact on.

15. Being free to flirt.

16. Having the bed to yourself.

17. You can have your own room the way you want it more because you don't have to worry about accommodating someone else's tidiness preferences, etc. so much.

I'm not single at the moment, I did like being single though, I entered a relationship because I fell in love and not because I wanted a relationship in general.

Most of the other ones I can think of are reiterating what others have said really.

Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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These are kind of similar to others, but:

18. Not having to fit your free time in with someone else's or miss things you want to do because that's when your partner is free.

19. Learning to enjoy your own company more.

(That might not apply to everyone, but I'm finding it definitely applies to me; I really enjoy just chilling out with a book or some music now.)

20. Knowing that your identity is based on who *you* are and not your relationship.

(Again, I'm sure this doesn't apply to lots of people but I can't be the only one discovering that there's so much more to me than I thought, and that I'm me whether I'm in a relationship or not. Heh, that sounds silly but I know what I mean at least [Razz] .)

21. Being able to take up a new hobby you didn't have time for before.

22. (Again with the not applying to everyone!) Enjoying just having little non-serious crushes on people.

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I'm not sure if I'd even list this one because it may just apply to me but I had a dream where I made out with someone who's not my partner and I felt guilty for cheating in the dream because I thought it was real, so being single removes that complication.

Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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When you are single, you can screw more people!
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25. (For me, at least, with my no job or dependent family members) it means it's possible to go and live in another city for the summer and not worry about the impact that will have on anyone else.

26. Not having to hang out at your partner's house when you don't really like it as an environment.

27. Not feeling obligated to hang out or provide care & support/guilty for sometimes feeling this as an obligation instead of a want.

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So here are some good things about being single, some are variations of others, but with a dif view:

28. Making the dinner you want (I'm a vegetarian, I've been one for a year and a half and my ex never wanted to try vegetarian things) we'd have to cook two dinners basically, and he hated vegetables. Also another ex, was really religious and didn't eat "unclean" things like pork which I loved (before I was a vegetarian) so I felt uncomfortable eating with him.

29. Being able to dance with other people like I want to dance and not feel like I'm being inappropriate.

30. Not having to worry about meeting parents and families

31. Not having to go to annoying family reunions when you don't know anyone and having to smile and pretend to be interested in conversations about people you have never met

32. Not having to feel like I have to babysit my partner when we go to one of my family reunions

33. Not having to debate about who's house we are spending what holidays.

34. Being able to save up the money you would have spent on their b-day gift for an awesome b-day gift for yourself

35. Not being constantly on the phone with the guy (I have only had long distance relationships because of college)

36.Being able to focus on what you want in your next relationship, finding how you can do better and what you want in a partner

37. Hooking up, making out, having sex or whatever you want with dif people

38. My biggest thing for me was that I was actually kind of proud of myself for being able to sleep in my own bed alone and not have to cuddle with anyone. It made me feel powerful... I guess the equivalent to a child being able to sleep with the light off finally.

I get some of my reasons are personal, but you get the drift.

Oh, and good things about not having partnered sex (since the OP said good things about no sex as well:
Being able to focus on yourself outside of your sexual self (something I'm struggling with)
Not having to spend as much money on contraception

Think of me, when you're out, when you're out there...

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39. Having the time and energy to focus on your own creative projects. This has been a HUGE one for me. I gave up on dating a couple of months ago after far too many unpleasant results, and since then, I've organized two events, one of which has had a lot of success and notice, and participated in some other events, and worked more on my own creative projects. Being single lets me turn all the energy I would have spent on someone else to my work, and the fruits of my labor are so so wonderful to see. I didn't even realize it before, but I just didn't have enough time for my own work when I was dating or in a relationship.

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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Orca, what kind of events? Sounds interesting [Smile]

"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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orca what you've said has reminded me that even though I'm in a relationship, I still do have a lot of free time (I know this isn't everyone's circumstance), and there's all sorts of stuff I want to do that I still haven't done, or that I want to do more often than I currently do, and that I should seize that time I have because I can do a lot with it: enjoy myself, achieve things I want to achieve, help others... so thankyou. I'm often thinking that it would be nice to see my boyfriend more, but it's important to remember that the time I don't spend with him is an opportunity to do something else that I enjoy and/or get some work done which benefits me and/or someone else.

Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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40. Make big life decisions that you want, not catering to a partner. For example, when I was nineteen, I was thinking about studying abroad, but when I found out that the programs were a year long, I decided against it because I didn't want to jeopardize my relationship.

41. Learn the languages you want to. This probably won't apply to everyone, but I learned some Arabic to please the first guy and the second guy wanted me to learn French (I have a habit of dating guys whose primary language is not English), so in the months after the second guy broke up with me and I remained single, I had no pressure at all. (Now I'm learning Mandarin Chinese for my current boyfriend)

Honestly, I think my current relationship is worth it, but sometimes I miss being single.

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42. No drama related to the relationship

43. Being able to do what you want when you want to. Including small things and big things like go to whatever college or take whatever job.

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
-Abraham Lincoln

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Its funny that y'all have mentioned being able to move away/do an exchange. That's the reason I broke mine off. [Smile]

I'll reiterate a few: being able to know yourself better, having crushes without feeling guilty, having more time to read, write, sing play, and explore the forest.

44. I can give equal importance to all of my friendships now that I don't have a romantic relationship to maintain (important when none of those friends are in the same country).

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45. Less drama. Period.
46. The ability to point out cute guys/gals in movies and on the street without constant reminders.

Knock on the sky and listen to the sound.

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