Hey, everyone! Nice to see everything's rolling on smoothly here still. :)
Things have been going differently on my end. I'm in therapy/on meds, and it's only skimming the surface of whatever is wrong with me. I feel tons of pressure to just "cheer up and feel better already", but it's not that easy. When I have to tell people that I'm on sick leave (I have been for 4 months), they look at me all quizzically, wondering what's wrong, and even remark to my partner how happy I look. It's freaking annoying, that because someone's using mental illness as an "excuse", they're not allowed to have normal or happy moments ever, because that means they can clearly control it and be that way all the time with "the right attitude".
Physically, there's some good news! With Heather's permission, I'll be editing in an update on my sexual pain In Your Own Words page to indicate that I am pain-free at last. After all those wacky treatments and expensive surgeries, a $10-for-50-days treatment of tricyclic antidepressants fixed me right up. Turns out I had undiagnosed diabetes, which became neuralgia.. not 100% yet, but so much better than I was.
On the other hand, I'm dealing with a new-but-old physical disability and I'm not sure what to think at this point. It's gotten difficult to walk any distance, climb stairs and I'm gaining weight. I now am walking with a cane, and have already noticed people looking at/treating me differently. It's hard to process, because I've always thought I "just walked a little funny", and my mom always talked about my hip dysplasia like something all babies get and grow out of. It wasn't until a male friend here mentioned he was born with the same thing and had to be put in a brace to avoid the problems I now have that I looked into it, and put it all together.
Anyway, I don't mean to write an incredibly long novel, but I needed to get this out somewhere, and this has always been about the safest place around for me and others to do that. It would also be great to get some input (and updates of your own - missed you guys!) from people who've been through similar. Thank you for reading. :)
Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005
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It's good to hear from you! I'm happy to hear about the improvements in your health and wish you the best with the challenges that continue. *So glad* to hear you are sexual pain-free at least but how incredibly nerve wracking to hear about the various misdiagnoses! Is it Type 1 or 2 diabetes, and how long have you had it? Why do you think it wasn't noticed by other doctors until now? Do you have a family history? (I ask because I'm curious about medical things!) I look forward to your article update, where I'm sure you'll answer those questions and more.
You know what I've been up to so I'll stop there and look forward to hearing more if and when you're available to share! Best of luck with your recovery and I hope you can get off sick leave soon!
Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003
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Lauren, I'm glad to read that things are starting to get better for you and that you are almost pain-free.
I'm sorry that you're feeling that pressure to "cheer up". It's clearly not that simple as anyone who has faced a mental illness can understand. Frankly, its not really anyone's business why you are on sick leave. You don't have to justify it to them, although I can understand wanting to.
Take care and hang in there.
-------------------- "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."
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