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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » The Randoms » Opinions, views, thoughts on sex needed

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Author Topic: Opinions, views, thoughts on sex needed
Member # 32822

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...I posted this in another spot, but I need *lots* of responses, so....I'm posting this here! Thanks!

Hi, I am a graduate student in a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner program in Chicago and I am writing a research paper this term on how teens view their sexuality. I was given permission to post here by the webmistress, Heather Corinna. What I am most interested in hearing is how teens feel about sex, what's most important to them, how do teens communicate with one another, what happens on a date, what feels good/what doesn't...

I am not looking for any one thing, I'd like to build a narrative that I can include in my paper. I am interested in this topic because there is a lack of teen voices in the academic literature on teen sex. Also, most of our sex ed curricula ignores what teens know/do/feel/think.

If anyone has other good suggestions for sources (other than Scarleteen) where teens discuss sexuality and their feelings about it, please let me know!

Many thanks!
Alikatze. [Smile]

RN, Women's Health Nurse Practitioner-in progress

Posts: 9 | From: Evanston, Illinois | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
out cated
Member # 33334

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i went to a friends birth day party she was turning 16 and was going to have sex with her boy friend at 12:00 he got stoned and we got drunk and i slept with he best friend it was weird i did not do in to the party thinking i'm going to sleep with some one but it worked out to i get drunk soder up mostly and smile at this guy and think oh he is cute and then sit on the floor with him and fall asleep wake up next to him my friends put him on the floor and me in a bed so that they could go party we woke up and smiled at each other and i said share the bed not thinking we are going to have sex then he feels me up awrd sex follows then i wake up he is gone i don't see him he does not see me then i tell my best friend and she swears not to tell this best friend because he didn't tell her and i did not want her to know my friend tells her any way now you have to know out of all my friends no one knows that i have ever thought about kissing some one nowould ever dream of me having sex so his best friend my 2nd best friend calls me and asks WHY ARE YOU LIEING and tells me that she has talked to her friends and there is no way that it happened and i'm going to get my *** pounded in if i don't tell the truth you ******* whore and then she hangs up i never talk to either agin and the sex wasn't even good.

happy is orange juice

Posts: 9 | From: surrey bc | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 24641

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I'd be very happy to help you, I just don't really know where to start, if you have a few questions you'd like answered that would help point me in a direction. I'd be very willing to answer in length most anything you'd like to know, email me at --edited--

To get a general overview on myself, at least for today:

I've known about and visited scarleteen for quite a while, I like gathering knowledge on things that affect me, so I do research on many things, sex being no different. I came here today to post about finding some people to talk with about virginity and relationship advice from a variety of different views.

I feel that my friends where I live (in southern California) are, to put it frankly:
easy. And I for one am not, though I consider myself a highly sexual, but confident person. I think my serious consideration about sex and my high confidence let me resist the pull originally, and now my wonderful boyfriend who values virginity on an emotional and personal level as I do has helped. Though I may sound hypocritical, we have engaged in manual and oral sex gradually over months, but intercourse seems like the last big step because we realise the very real negative repercussions possible, mainly of pregnancy.

We've now been going out for a year and a half, are both 18 years old and starting to contemplate losing our virginity to each other (in a time frame of a few months from now.) Ever since we started going out I have known this is the person I want to share myself with that way, and we have valued our personal feelings of not being ready yet. We are both approaching the time where we personally feel we're getting ready (though mine seems to be a gradual process of searching myself and our relationship, while his seemed to be a realization that he was ready.)

I mostly wanted to hear from others who value their virginity, and what they think about finally giving it away (without marriage). It didn't feel like I could talk, without sounding like a moralistic prude, with my friends who I feel just threw it away arbitrarily with relationships that were immature or not fulfilling on the levels I think should be met before you have intercourse.

I wish you luck, and I'm actually exited to think I can help you on this not often explored subject.

Note: Posting emails is against the user guidelines ... For your protection!!

[ 04-19-2007, 11:08 PM: Message edited by: LilBlueSmurf ]

Posts: 70 | From: Fullerton, CA, USA | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

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Hey, wyntermidnite, we're really glad to have you respond, but posting your e-mail address is against the guidelines. This is for your own safety. Thanks!

Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer
Love Scarleteen? Donations keep us around for you. So give a little! (Or a lot. Whatever works for you.)

Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 22137

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I'm not sure what you really would like to know. I can tell you that I'm 18 and live in England so my sex education is a little different i suppose from those who live in America.

My sex education started when i was nine and well i remember we were shown videos and stuff in same sex groups so i had my sex education with just girls. i remember we all took it quite well actually and it was a pretty positive experience for me. However it did underline for me that sex should be with someone you love and then i set my own boundaries of not lsing my virginity until i was 18, because our teachers said we should respect ourselves when it came to making the choices.

However, i met my first proper boyfriend shortly before my 15th birthday and we began doing some sexual stuff such as mutual masturbation and oral sex. We did wait until we were both 16 however to have full intercourse, which is the legal age of consent in england. I sort of wish i'd waited longer though, because despite being with him for three and a half years it turns out that my partner wasn't the person i thought he was in the end and it turned into a bitter breakup where sex was used as a weapon.

I've recently started seeing someone else who i've very much fallen in love with and we're sleeping together. Neither of us were virgins but we've both said that it feels better for both of us and that we're happy with the way things are.

I felt no social pressure to lose my virginity when i did, yet now i look back on it i think i was still too young even at 16 to deal with the emotional consequences two years later when we broke up.

Posts: 228 | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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