Don't know if this is in the right place but oh well here goes
night time again so my poetry's flowing always seems to happen when life's really blowing "i know it could be worse" keeps running through my head Some in my position have wished they were dead but i don't cause i know i gotta make it through i gotta be the best in everything that i do Life's my inspiration and caitlin's my drive She makes me feel amazing like shes the reason i'm alive this isn't a love poem but i give credit where it's due because without her constant love i know that I'd be through. Thoughts of my dad and alcohol always keep me down To those who have this habit, take a look around It may seem funny and harmless to some of your peers to drink away your sorrows in a river of beers Such actions have consequence so try not to go numb because once your body's hooked tomorrow may never come It's the deadliest addiction one could ever face A want, a need so strong that nothing can take it's place I tried to save my Dad, i really did try laying on his deathbed he asked me if he had to die His words still haunt me it's one of the reasons i'm not asleep i dream about it because the pain is so deep i try to forget about it but the memory remains The reason my dad didn't have enough blood in his veins The reason I'll never go hunting, fishing or any of that **** The reason i get mad when anyone talks about it The reason i can't say "hey dad" anymore only "hey mom" The reason this anger in me is like a ticking bomb
The reason, is alcohol and how i HATE it This is my statement I hope you appreciate it
Posts: 157 | From: Athens, Texas, USA | Registered: Jul 2005
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I had an aunt who raised me and was more of a mother to me than my real mother was. However, she was an alcoholic, very depressed, and possibly bi-polar. She used alcohol as a way to hide her pain, and one dreadful night I guess her pain got the best of her. She committed suicide. I feel your pain. Although she didn't give birth to me, I called her mom, and as far as we were concerned, she was just that.
-------------------- And I say thank you for the scars And the guilt and the pain Every tear I've never cried Has sealed your fate. Did you take me for a fool or were you just too blind to see that every effort made has failed and there is no destroying me? Atreyu Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005
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I really feel for you on this one...my dad's an alcoholic, and he's been my main source of grief all my life.
I too get angry when I see my classmates take it so lightly and make fun of me because I don't drink. I find it saddening that 95% of children of alcoholics become alcoholics themselves or marry one. A psychiatrist specializing in addictions told me that; he also said that I'm likely to be in the 5% difference. I really believe the best thing we can do is try to be that difference, for everyone's sake.
I too have also felt that my boyfriend has been the reason I'm still around. Sometimes all the memories just catch up with me, and I feel overwhelmed. But luckily, I don't have to see him anymore. Now every time I feel a memory coming on, I think "that's not going to happen anymore. I'm not going to let that happen." At least in my case, I wanted it to be this way.
I really hope you can recover from this. I know how hard it can be. Trust me. If you ever need to talk, feel free to start up a thread on the Support Groups section and I'd be more than happy to listen .
-------------------- "Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera Posts: 410 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Dec 2005
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