They utter every racial slur they can, every racist remark, and say that black people should "go back to Africa." Every time my sister dated a non-caucasian (before she married), they complained that the man she should have been dating should have been "tall, blond, blue-eyed and white". My grandfather has held a decade long grudge against the Japanese ever since WWII, when they treated Americans roughly in the concentration camps.
I don't want to be the laughingstock of people my age!
And if I marry somebody non-caucasian or partially caucasian, I don't want my grandparents hurting him emotionally.
I have to go see them in May, I don't have a choice in the matter. I'm not exactly looking forward to it. What can I do?
Have you ever considered saying something to them? About how their comments make you feel? Albeit, expecting someone to change their views is a bit unrealistic, asking them to refrain from making derogatory comments in your presence is not.
Or perhaps asking your parents to say something to them. The other option is simply leaving the room when they begin to do so. Just don't make a scene of it.
-------------------- Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer Love Scarleteen? Donations keep us around for you. So give a little! (Or a lot. Whatever works for you.) Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000
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As warped and generally bad as this may sound:
My grandpa is a dreadful racist. The guy looks like a friggin Indian chief for crying out loud (with overwhelming evidence that he is, indeed, mostly Native American); yet he denies it all and insists he's full-blooded German. He's basically prejudiced against anyone non-white.
The way I deal? Laugh. I realize that not all people find humor in racist slurs or jokes, but something about how shocking it is makes me laugh. That's how lots of stand-up comedians draw crowds, after all. Just a suggestion
Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005
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Living in times of war (or times of other political trauma) can alter a person's view of different cultures/races, no matter how poorly founded these biases may be. It's even happening today, as we speak. Take into consideration the crisises between America and parts of the Middle East, and most recently, the situation with the illegal immigrants in America. All of this political trauma WILL have an effect on respective cultures and races and their views of other cultures and races.
My grandparents are the exact same way. Your grandparents won't change their views, and most likely, won't be willing to compromise by being "gentle" with issues of race around you or your family members who dislike their comments. These ignorant ways are far too engrained in their minds by now. It's sad, but true.
We've come a long way from, say, the years of your grandparents' adulthood, (in midst of the Civil Rights movement and the overturning of segregation), so...it's less likely to find a close degree of racism in most of today's youth.
-------------------- "Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best." -Woody Allen Posts: 231 | From: California, USA | Registered: Feb 2006
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I am acknowledging, with that statement, that there are exceptions. And there are. I am differentiating, however, between our generation, and the generations before us... generations BEFORE the important, WORLD-CHANGING activism and rights movements that hold such a dear place in our history and have changed the ideals of many countries and cultures, by example.
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