My mom expects me to stay at home until I am married, then move right out of my house into my new house with my husband... WHAT's up with this??? When do I get my independance?? I don't argue this too much with them right now, cause I still have a few years to go. But what do you think? Doesn't everyone need a couple years of total independance? Free from parents, free from a spouse?? Just to get out on your own and live life the way you want to? I definately think I do! Or is anyone in the same boat as me?
------------------ Love is natural, and everything that goes with it. ;)
I think it all varies by the person. My father's big push for me was "build your own log cabin, son." So from an early age, he pretty much started pushing me out the door. And I was lucky he did that, because I learned to make a life entirely on my own and was able to go forward without relying on my parents for financial (or other) support.
But I know that the opposite holds true for a lot of people as well. A friend of mine is just about 24, and lives at home with his mom and sister. He is the "man of the house," according to him anyway, and his mother doesn't want him to leave until the time comes for him to marry. It's always seemed odd to me, but that is just because I came from different surroundings.
So I can see it both ways, really. I moved out when I was good and ready to do so, which just happened to be right when college came around. I was much happier out of the house than I had been when I was in it, and I learned a lot about myself that way as well. Now, I've got habits built in and I am used to running my own show, so I don't think I could move home without raising all sorts of hell.
As for being alone, that is also something that will vary by the person. I currently live alone (though that will soon change), and it's not a bad deal at all. Sure, there are times when it can get lonesome, but that's when I leave and go to my friend's house, or bring him over for some chow. I like being able to listen to bad music, watch hockey, horse around, jump on the couches, and raise all the other sorts of chaos that I'd not be able to do with a roommate.
I once dated a girl whose big thing was that she wanted to live alone for an extended period of time before "settling down." She'd rant and rave about the evils of living at home and the evils of living with a boyfriend. So what did she end up doing? She moved back home with her parents, and then moved her new boyfriend in when her parents left the state. Oops!
I did the whole college-away-from-home thing. I moved 4 hours away, lived in a dormitory for a year, and have rented an apartment ever since. am i independent? no, my folks still pay for my necesities. but do i have just enough autonomy where i can have some fun and fend for myself just enough? absolutely!
i don't think living independently is for everybody. some folks honestly can't handle it -- too lonely, homesick, or just lacking the basic survival skills (cooking, cleaning, wiping one's own arse).
I needed out, though. i was the youngest, and as such, i've always been "too young" to do anything. this means i'm not expected to do chores at home. but frankly, i do need to learn things like how to balance my checkbook, manage my bills, cook, clean, and get to work/school on time.
------------------ Don't be coward like shrimp, be brave like PRAWN!
Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000
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