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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » The Randoms » just wanting to fit in...

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Author Topic: just wanting to fit in...
SpeXtruM
Neophyte
Member # 9844

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Hey guys....i don't want to whine, but i can't help it...so here it goes: I'm a really outgoing person, i'm not shy, i like talking to people and i'm also understanding, but the only problem is that there are all these different groups of people in my school (y'all know what i'm talking about) and i really want to be a part of a cliq, but the only problem is that when i try talking to the girls or guys i want to get to know, i don't get anywhere...and no, finding common interests doesn't help, it's like EVERYONE puts a wall infront of them....but they talk to A LOT of people from their cliq, and they're always laughing and look like they're having fun...i just want to be a part of that, but they won't accept me. i tried starting one of my own, but that doesn't work..it's like all the people in my school already fit in where they want to be, and i don't! i tried everything, until i just gave up and basically started isolating myself (at least THEY weren't isolating me like before anymore, that's an improvement...)How do i accept myself and be independent, not needing anyone?? not having to giggle and share things with ppl?? i would really appreciate advice or even similar stories (no one else seems to have that problem, everyone belongs, everyone has plenty of friends and everywhere they go people are yelling their names or saying hi to them...i want that so bad!)
Posts: 2 | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
tigress
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Member # 9461

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I know how you feel. I've never been in a "cliqe"--always been a loner or an only friend type of person. Sometimes I see all those people in their groups and wonder why I'm not good enough to be part of that, but then I think, well why should I want only a small circle of friends? Personally, I like being a "floater": I go from group to group since I have at least one friend in each. I like that better than actually having to be in a group where you are only friends with the other people in the group. Dosen't leave much space for you to grow as a person by knowing different people and getting along with others. You'll be fine without the group mess, just be yourself and you'll make plenty of friends in different places!
Posts: 119 | From: SoRoa | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
starlight23
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Member # 9388

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I just want to say I've been part of a close group of friend...there was 5 of us. we got ourselves into SO much trouble. true, we were all best friends and had a great time, but we also excluded other people, and i hated that. this year, we're all still friends, but we expand that. we have more friends, include other people. so i have my 4 best friends that i can turn to for anything at anytime ever, but i have other friends too, and that's the good way to be. plus, i know alot of the so called 'cliques' at my school, alot of those kids dont even really like each other. they're always talking about each other behind others backs...just doesn't seem like something i'd want to be a really big part of. *shrug*
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badly_behaved_badger
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Member # 7728

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quote:
Originally posted by SpeXtruM:
How do i accept myself and be independent, not needing anyone?? not having to giggle and share things with ppl?? i would really appreciate advice or even similar stories (no one else seems to have that problem, everyone belongs, everyone has plenty of friends and everywhere they go people are yelling their names or saying hi to them...i want that so bad!)

Y'know, you don't have to be in a cliq <sp? to have a laugh and feel wanted. I used to worry all the time about not fitting in at school, and having to move all the time (I've been to 8 schools) but I realised that as long as I have friends who have the same interests and who care about me, I don't have to be in a big group. Cliq's can be unhealthy if people shut themselves off from everybody else apart from members of the group.

Happiness comes from accepting yourself like you said, and you don't have to belong to a cliq in order to do this. Best of luck anyway
*Badger*

------------------
Philosophers wonder whether the fridge light stays on when the door is closed; fridges wonder whether philosophers still talk rubbish when they take off their corduroy jackets.


Posts: 388 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
~You*Know*Who~
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Member # 1412

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Im not in a 'clique' and Im a loner. But I have alot of friends, from a bunch of different groups. Maybe if you talked to someone you wouldnt normally....or start a convo in class. And you are probably not the only one who feels this way. There are probably people in your school youre overlooking. But I know how you feel.
Posts: 252 | From: somwhere, usa | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Olive
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Member # 8964

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I was sort of a loner last year. I had my best friend who lived with me but went to a different school and so at school, I knew nobody. I would just hang out and talk to people at break and then we all became friends. The best way to find people like you, is to be yourself. You don't all have to like or dislike the same people, hang out with the same people... Its just nice to have people like yourself to hangout with but its not nessacarily needed. You have your time alone where you learn to be your own person and figure out who you are and where you want to go. Then the people you have fun with and the people you've known forever. Are the people in the "cliques" really going to hang out and see each other and have fun after highschool or even after college? Some may but you'll probably lose touch with a lot of them. If your outgoing then find what you like before you go and try to like what other people like.
Posts: 338 | From: Livermore, CA | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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