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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » The Randoms » When you're ready for sex, but you're parents aren't

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Author Topic: When you're ready for sex, but you're parents aren't
BlinkN*boys182
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What do you do when you know you are ready for sex , but you're parents have told you that you are too young? I have taken all the proper precations to prepare for sex, the pill, condom, a partner who has gotten tested, and my parents still think NO. How can I get them to change there mind?
Abby

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Sometimes you have to kiss ass, before you can kick it

Watch out! I spell awful!


Posts: 60 | From: over the rainbow | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CrazyGirl
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One thing you might want to think about is age of consent. That's a big factor right there. Don't know how old you are, but sometimes when your parents say you're too young, legally, you really might be.

Sorry my post isn't too helpful, but I'm short on time at the moment.

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"Blessed Are Those Of Us Who Can Laugh At Ourselves, For We Never Cease To Be Amused!" -Unknown


Posts: 136 | From: City of Angels | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
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Age of consent is defineatly an issue, as CrazyGirl pointed out. Clickie here for more info ...

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For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
~ Winnie the Pooh

In a Smurf's world ...


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CrazyGirl
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Ugh, meeting was cancelled, so I have time.

Okay, really a lot of things come into play here. Age of Consent being one. Technically, if you are over 18, your parents don't have a say no matter what. (Unless you're living with them, and they say my house my rules, then you have to think about whether or not you are willing - and prepared - to go against them.)

I'm not sure what I am about to say next is completely accurate, so please correct me if I'm wrong people. I am under the impression that if you are over the age of consent, but under legal age, (18) you can't get into legal trouble (ie statutory rape) but your parents can get a restraining order against the other person, and you have to go along with that. Sexperts, Advocates, and anyone that knows... is that right??

And lastly, if you are under the age of consent, it's just not worth it. One or both of you can get into serious legal trouble, and I'm sure neither one of you wants that.

hth

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"Blessed Are Those Of Us Who Can Laugh At Ourselves, For We Never Cease To Be Amused!" -Unknown


Posts: 136 | From: City of Angels | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Starry Night
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I have to agree with everyone else about the age of consent. But also, here are some other things to consider.

-You're on the pill, and have access to condoms. Do your parents know you're on the pill, or did you go to yourself to Planned Parenthood or a local clinic?
*If they know that you're taking it, then they probably have an idea of why you wanted to be on it. (Unless it's for a medical condition, like endemitriosis, in which case go to step 2)
*If they don't know you're taking it, I highly suggest you tell them. I know from personal experience that I was planning on cruising into Planned Parenthood to get the Pill - but because I spoke to my parents, found out I had an elevtated IGG or IGM (can't remember) level and the Pill would cause blood clots and induce lupus and be potentially fatal. My doctor said that thousands of girls are walking around with high levels of this and are on the Pill, and are very lucky they've never gotten a clot from it. So, I really suggest you speak to your parents if they don't know you're on the pill cause doctors don't always delve deeply into medical histories and being on this form of birth control could be fatal.

With that gloominess said..
If you're smart enough to have yourself and your partner tested, why not check out Scarleteen's handy dandy *readiness checklist*? It sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders and could be ready for sex, but please take into account all the info we've given you. Also, if you are under your state's age of consent, I'd advise waiting til you reached the proper age. As for your parents, try discussing birth control with them if they aren't aware you're on it. If they are, then sit down and calmly discuss your emotional and sexual maturity. Act calmly whether or not you agree with their decision - but remember, it's your body and your life. While I'm not saying to go against your parent's advice, if you're over the age of consent and well protected, it's your choice.
Hope this helps.

Oh, and can someone please post a link to the readiness checklist for Blink? I'm not sure how to do that yet Thanks.

[This message has been edited by Starry Night (edited 05-27-2001).]


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'rin
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talk to your parents a little more, they may have something valid to say. (i know sometimes we stop listening to our parents when they say no and we dont' hear why they said no, sometimes their reasons are really things that ought to be thought about.) you may also want to consider the fact that although it does sometimes suck, when someone else is giving you a roof and food and stuff you really ought to give them some respect, so even if you are still going to have sex, i don't recommend doing so in "their" house. the possible implications of that when they're against it really aren't worth it, trust me i learned that the hard way.
'rin

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"-and i hope i'm not shooting my mouth off...again...and i pray i'm not tempting the fates....."
-james, off millionaires


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CrazyGirl
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Sex Readiness Checklist

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"Blessed Are Those Of Us Who Can Laugh At Ourselves, For We Never Cease To Be Amused!" -Unknown


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BlinkN*boys182
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Im 15 years old and I have had sex before, my parents are highly against it. My mother took me to get on the pill at our docter. She thinks at least i should be safe if i chose to do it, what i really want is there consent to do it
Abby

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Sometimes you have to kiss ass, before you can kick it

Watch out! I spell awful!


Posts: 60 | From: over the rainbow | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Starry Night
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Thanks for posting the link, Crazy.

quote:
Originally posted by BlinkN*boys182:
Im 15 years old and I have had sex before, my parents are highly against it. My mother took me to get on the pill at our docter. She thinks at least i should be safe if i chose to do it, what i really want is there consent to do it
Abby


Sometimes parents have a difficult time accepting that their children are growing up. You said that your mom took you to get the pill - Abby, she knows you're going to have sex again at some point. To me, this sounds like your parents care a whole lot about you. They care enough to put you on the pill even though they're not comfy with the fact that you're having sex. To me, it sounds like they're dealing with it, but not happy about it because it's a sign of you growing up. But if they took you to get protection, then don't keep pushing for their consent. If you're really positive about having sex (and have done the handy dandy checklist), then the fact that they took you to get the pill should be consent enough. It sounds like you'd like them to validate your decision to have sex because you might not be 100% sure yourself. If that's the case, you might want to think about your decision a little more (esp. b/c you're young and might not be at the age of consent).


Posts: 164 | From: U.S.A. | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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