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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » The Randoms » Having a Bad Day

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Author Topic: Having a Bad Day
Member # 1860

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Well my boyfriend dumped me that I have been talking about in my last post. I talked to him tonight. I guess he heard some rumours (about me being permiscuous of course) and they were exaggerated a lot, he got embaressed and called me after the basketball game to tell me he's breaking up with me. He likes me and everything... I dunno. He also is a major skiing boy, so I prolly wouldn't beable to see him until around new Year's anyway, which I thikn was a bi part of it, or atleast I hope. We haven't been dating for that long, and I'm not so upset about him in paticular (although I really liked him) as to all the stuff. i have really calmed down with my whole hearted party fun and my sex life with lots of guys, but the rumours are still flying around and ruining my life soda speak.... Is there anyway to possibly wipe the slate clean short of dying my hair, changing my name and moving out of town???

Posts: 4 | From: Eastport MI USA | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 100

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First Big Way To Get Rid Of A Bad Reputation:

Stick to one story for longer than 30 seconds. Seriously, reading the things you've written here in the last day and a half, it makes me wonder just what the heck is really going on in your life. I do realize that things sometimes move really fast in our lives, but whoosh, girl. Calm it down, keep it sane, and keep it real.

Second Big Way To Get Rid Of A Bad Reputation

Alter your behavior -- OR -- learn how to cover your tracks better. Discretion is a really good skill to learn. If you keep your private life truly PRIVATE, then it'll be private. Funny how that works.

Think of it this way: how much do you know about your science teacher's sex life? Or your school principal's? Or your mom's? Or mine? Or Miz Scarlet's? Not much, that's right. Is this because we don't have sex lives? Not at all. It's because we do have sex lives, but we've learned how to keep it private and discreet. Privacy isn't just about not being caught actually doing the nasty, it's about keeping your mouth shut, not taking unnecessary risks, and valuing your own private life enough to keep it private.

If you choose to continue to have sexual relationships (particularly with multiple partners), I highly recommend doing so with partners who can be trusted to keep their mouths shut. I daresay you'll have a difficult time of this, since people (particularly teenagers) do tend to talk a lot about their sexual lives (even to the point of imagining them) with one another. I would also remind you, here, that you can only control what comes out of YOUR OWN MOUTH in terms of talk and gossip. You can't control what anyone else says or does, and that goes for your sexual partners too.

Third Big Way To Get Rid Of A Bad Reputation

Clean up your act, learn how to be discreet, and WAIT. Simply do the right things for your own sanity and health, and be patient while the water clears. It takes time, but it does work. Waiting is a very difficult thing to do sometimes, but really, it's ultimately the only thing that's going to stop the flow of gossip about you.

Hanne Blank
Co-Editor, Scarleteen

Start a Revolution -- Stop Hating Your Body!

Posts: 1538 | From: boston, ma, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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