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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » The Randoms » A question for the guys...

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Author Topic: A question for the guys...
~You*Know*Who~
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Okay, so heres the prob....I am in 9th grade and guys, like, don't talk to me....and I am afraid that if I go and talk to them, that they'll be like, your and ungly dork. And I also don't know what I would say either. So could some guys (Even girls)give me a few pointers in the "talking to guys" department?
Please help.

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~dont underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers~

~Duck tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and binds the world togther~


Posts: 252 | From: somwhere, usa | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Justoneoftheguys
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When you say talking to guys, is there a specific guy that your having trouble talking with? Or is it just guys in general? The most important thing in either case is that you aren't nervous. Like you said, they are nervous to talk to you also. You have to be calm and just talk to them. If they act like jerks or are immature its because they're ninth graders. Guys don't even realize at that age how mean they can be.

The reason they don't talk to you has nothing to do with your looks. It's all a matter of being friendly and some guys just don't have a friendly nature towards girls, and it seems you don't have a friendly nature towards guys because you have trouble talking to them. Your all shy its no big deal. So either you, or the guys, will have to go for it. Just talk to them. They will Like you Don't worry at all, just be yourself and the rest will fall into place.

Keep a positive attitude
In my humble opinion
Keith


Posts: 13 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Justoneoftheguys
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ooops, forgot something in the last one. If your having trouble on what to say to them. Here is one way that works if they are in your class. After class or during class just ask them something about the homework assignment or what the teacher said in class. Help them clarify something for you. Guys love to help girls. Soon enough if you talk to this guy enough he will become comfortable talking with you. Always smile and thank them afterwards for helping you.

Keep a high self esteem
In my humble opinion
Keith


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~You*Know*Who~
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Well...Its not guys in general...its just if I like them...'cause I think they couldn't like me, I have really high self-esteem but not in the guy department.

And there is 1 particular guy I had in mind...he hangs out with my brother and he talks to me sometimes when hes around at my house and or I'm around somewhere with them but he dosen't talk to me in school and Im way to intimidated to talk to him. So I don't know if he dosen't talk to me because he thinks I don't like him or because he dosen't like me.

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~dont underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers~

~Duck tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and binds the world togther~


Posts: 252 | From: somwhere, usa | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Justoneoftheguys
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So, your problem is with talking to guys that you like. I'd say just about everyone has a problem with talking to people they like Is your brother's friend your age? Your brother might not like it if your going after his friends. I think you should ask your brother what his friend thinks of you if your serious about it. It might be really embarassing though. They might turn it around on you and tease you though. Just keep talking to the guy and be bold and tell him if you have to. Talking to a guy in school and out of school, although not the same, it is the same, so just think like its nothing different because it isn't. The same thing goes for talking to other guys that you like. Just think of the cute guy as a person and talk to him like he is a person. Do not talk to him like he is a cute guy and you shouldn't have any problems.
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entropie
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Us females too have some good points which we can share with you..

All I can say is "you don't know if you don't try".. give it a go, put aside your worries about what you yhink they'll say and/or think..

Even if you don't feel so confident, 'fake it'.. it's a very attractive thing when a woman looks like she knows what she wants

entropie.honeylaser

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honeylaser's site


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Pixie69
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My problem is kinda similar, I'm great talking to guys and flirting with them - except for the ones that I actually like. Ickies. I'd say if he's in one of your classes ask him for his number just in case you ever need homework help and one day call him up along those terms. When he's at your house just talk to him like you'd talk to a friend so he can see how awesome you are (gawd I sound like I came out of Seventeen). And, most importanly but most underrated, be yourself! Trust me, after a while it gets boring pretending to be someone you're not, and it's hard too. If you're not yourself, then there's not a point...

Brittany

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Dude, just smile and pass the zen margaritas...


Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
~You*Know*Who~
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For 1-my brother is 24, I am 14, my brothers friend (the crush)is 15, and the only reason he started hanging out with my brother is because his older brother did.
For 2-I am NOT going to ask my brother what he thinks about me because my bro would find it humorous and never let me live it down.
For 3- I already know his phone # because my
brothers over there alot and we always need to get ahold of the bro man. Dudes not in any of my classes though.
For 4- I am myself around him (I am very weird ) and I talk to him like a friend. but sometimes he acts like he likes me atleast as a friend, or maybe hes just being nice and sometimes he ignores me like he dosent care. And guys are sooooo confusing I cant figure it out.

And I better add in that he was over last night working on the car with my bro, his bro, and their friend and I did ask questions about car parts and stuff 'cause I really don't know anything about cars and he did explain it to me, but thats as close to flirting as I get because my bros out there and like I said he'd never let me live it down. and when I see him in school he ignores me so no real flirting possibility.

~Who~

P.s. thanx to all that did, do and will reply to this message, appreciate you all.


[This message has been edited by ~You*Know*Who~ (edited 28 September 2000).]


Posts: 252 | From: somwhere, usa | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
~You*Know*Who~
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I've decided that from now on when I see him outside of school I'll treat him like I know he likes me even if I don't know...because if it ends up he dosen't like me I can write it off as just being me since Im a very affectionate person, I give people I like, even as just friends, hugs and cuddle with guy friends and stuff (I do it with my crushes older bro/my bros friend, and if youre wondering, his bro. is 18 or 19 and its a bro/sis type thing between us so he dosent think I like his bro.)

In school, since he is over to my house w/ my
bro all the time, I'll start a conversation, we have stuff to talk about.

I figure the worst that can happen to me is I get him as a friend out of it since we would get along well if we actually hung out since we actually do have a lot in common and all that. Hes also nice to me so that cant be a bad sign.

~No longer a chicken leg and will talk to him ~

P.S. Tomorow theres a pep raly at our school and everyone will be there...maybe I'll see him

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~dont underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers~

~Duck tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and binds the world togther~


Posts: 252 | From: somwhere, usa | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Justoneoftheguys
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Thats really good to hear! Just one thing. Even though you think your crush doesn't think you like his older bro how do you know? Most of the time guys assume any flirty or cuddling stuff does mean you like them. So maybe your crush does think you like his older bro. Eventually if you do find out your crush likes you back you will have to stop hugging his older brother anyway. I know i would think its weird if you were flirting with my older bro and i liked you. I would be scared to approach you, i would think you went for older guys or something. I just wanted to give you a guy perspective about that.

Good luck,
Have fun at the pep Rally!!
Keith


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Pixie69
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Yeah, I'm kinda agreeing about that he might think you like his older brother and that could be intimidating. So I'd say a little more for the younger one, a little less for the older one I think it's a good decision but always be warned..by the way, are you and your brother friends or enemies or neutral or what?

I know that my brother and I used to fight non-stop but now we're civil/nice or just don't notice each other too much (he's on his computer, I'm on mine, we're doing homework or we're out with friends so not too much to notice, lol). And even with that relationship although I have a crush on two of his friends I'd never date them because I wouldn't want them talking to my brother and my brother isn't that much of my personal life - mostly because he's been known for telling on me :P

But if you and your brother have an okay relationship then go for it!

Brittany

PS: Post us about what's going on, kay?

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Dude, just smile and pass the zen margaritas...


Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
~You*Know*Who~
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All I want right now from crush-boy is friendship and I just needed to know how to become friends with him. I don't think I would go out with him because he is my bros friend and I don't want to screw him and my bros friendship up. Sorry if I mislead you.

I act the same way around his older bro as I do around my bro, and so he knows I don't have a crush on his bro. And plus, I always say to his bro that "I love ya like a bro." so he knows. Its just something thats understood. He knows thats the kind of person I am.

My bro and me are like best friends, I think we don't fight because of the age difference.
And the prob. isn't so much my bro. finding out but then my mom would find out, which I don't mind really either.

But then my dad would find out and he would kill him because he dosen't like the thought of his little girl with guys and its worse because my dad has probs with my bro. because hes not my dads. he dosent like my bros friends either. but crush boy is a good kid. he dosen't drink, smoke or get in trouble. so he isn't bad and my dad has no reason to NOT like him. My mom dos.

And by the way he talked to me in school today about telling my bro. hes coming over with my bros friend, may sound small but now I am way less scared about talking to him.

[This message has been edited by ~You*Know*Who~ (edited 29 September 2000).]


Posts: 252 | From: somwhere, usa | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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