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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » The Randoms » Should I make the first move???

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Author Topic: Should I make the first move???
AbercrombieBabe
Neophyte
Member # 310

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Hi ppl! I need your help k? Well me and my ex go to the same college and I'm sooo in love with him!! *sigh* He's taken me to lunch twice already, and both times he was really flirty! The last time he took me out to lunch he asked if anyone would have a problem if we started "hanging out" again, and he also asked if my parents liked him when we went out, I was like o-k *hehe*. His friends says he still likes me it's just I don't wanna jump to conclusions ya know!! He always gives me hugs and sweet smiles. Also, he's REALLY HOT and naturally all these girls at our college look at him and he doesn't even acknowledge them!! He also skipped one of his classes to hang out with me on Thurday!! We were having *such* a great time that day we were driving around laughing and that song from *NSYNC came on "Tearin Up My Heart" and when the part of the song came that says "girl, if you want me let me know!" he cranked it and sang that part *really* loud and stared straight at me! Also, the other day he was having a bad day and he asked me some day soon could we go to the beach and watch the sunset together, and of course I said yes!! And the other day when he took me to lunch he looked like he wanted to say something to me the whole time but he was too nervous to!! We broke-up b/c he cheated but he's changed in the 6 months we've been apart like there's alot of things he did to change around his life and I sincerely believe he has. My parents think that he's waiting for me to ask him out or whatever and I want to but I'm not sure if he likes me or not!! The answer is probably right in front of me but I'm oblivious to these things *hehe*. Help!!

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aNgElA

iF oUt Of tIme I cOuLd pIcK OnE MoMeNt aNd kEeP iT ShInInG aNd NeW, oF aLL thE DaYs tHaT I hAvE LiVeD, i'D PiCk tHe mOmEnT I mEt YoU.

*~Go tO tHe 6 Yr oLd yOu OnCe WeRe AnD aSk iF ThEy LiKe wHaT tHeY'vE bEcOmE.~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~
bEn & AnGeLa
MaRcH 25~fOrEvEr
*~*~*~*~*~*~


Posts: 24 | From: TX, USA *yawn* | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady Moonlight
Activist
Member # 384

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Just re-read your own post, dearie. Sounds to me like he'd really like to re-start your relationship, but since he hurt you he's waiting for you to take the next step. My advice would be to communicate with the guy. If you're interested in getting back together, and if you're still worried about his committment and the possibility of cheating, tell him that, too. It sounds like the ball is very much in your court.
Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Angela,
Without being too pointed -- and I don't mean to be, I'm simply concerned that there are some important issues you keep avoiding -- you have a habit of asking for advice and then simply rephrasing the question in other posts until someone says what you want to hear.

I think you'd be wise to revisit the last thread (linked above) you started about this situation. Again, there is no real sense in rushing into a romantic relationship again when you can simply re-establish a friendship and see how it goes.

Someone's actions and their own patience towards rebuilding trust say a thousand more things than the words "I've changed." And sometimes -- more times than not -- in partnerships with problems, it isn't just one person who needs to make some changes. Cheating when you've agreed to be monogamous is truly bad, I agree. However, avoiding the reality of situations, or simply not evaluating relationships with very clear eyes, rather than what we want to see, can be just as destructive, if not more so.

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited September 10, 2000).]


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
AbercrombieBabe
Neophyte
Member # 310

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Ok this goes to Miz Scarlet...
Ok I completely understand where you're coming from I truly do and when I say this I'm not trying to be mean or anything so don't take it the wrong way. But, I'm 21 yrs old ok and I have no idea how old u r but just please stop talking to me like I'm 5. I was just asking for advice and I don't keep posting it b/c I want to hear a certain thing! The first post was way before anything in the second post happened. I posted the second post b/c some more things happened that's all. Sorry if you think I'm wasting ur time by posting things in the same subject area it won't happen again just like me coming here, it won't happen again b/c I don't need you talking to me like I'm a little child.

Posts: 24 | From: TX, USA *yawn* | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bettie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 78

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It is hard to take your posts seriously Angela when you say different things in them. On July 22nd you said you were 19 and now on September 10th you say you are 21. Plus, there have been many posts about your boyfriend and ex boyfriend (marriage proposals, pregnancy, and such) that it is hard to know what is on the up and up. This has nothing to do with treating you like a child. If I get inconsistent information from anyone, I like to point it out.
Posts: 1060 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Angela,
Believe me when I say to you that were I to talk to you like a small child about your issues, you'd have no need to insinuate, it'd be pointedly clear.

I wouldn't tell a small child that they're in a bit of denial because they need to do some changing themselves: that is something I reserve for adults, because in general, it is something only adults and young adults are capable of, if they're willing.

Again, you're asking for advice and I'm giving it to you. As always, if you don't like it, all you have to do is dismiss it. That's the beauty of advice: it's input, not instruction. It's up to you how you use it, but no one is forcing anything down your throat -- you're here asking. If it was bothersome, I wouldn't take the time to answer it. It isn't bothersome, it is worrysome. As Bettie said below, many of your posts have had seriously conflicting information in them and lots of highly serious unresolved issues (like pregnancies and marriages). That is worrysome, both in terms of you, and in terms of the respect I think the readers and posters here should be afforded.

If you don't want people to care, don't ask them to. That is as plain as it gets. If it's just for attention, I would indeed appreciate it if you'd go elsewhere because that isn't fair to me, the staff, or to all of the posters who are trying to give you the help you ask for. And that, my dear, iis a lot of what being an adult is all about: being honest, being fair, and accepting responsibility and accountability. I'd suspect that is you are perceiving that you're not being treated like one, it may well be because you aren't acting like one.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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