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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » The Randoms » Comfortable about sexuality = ?

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Author Topic: Comfortable about sexuality = ?
Lintu
Neophyte
Member # 238

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What does the phrase mean "comfortable with one's sexuality"? Someone once asked me my opinion on homosexuality, and when I responded saying that it was against my moral beliefs, he immediately accused me of *not* being comfortable with my sexuality. I'm kinda confused because I'm perfectly happy being a heterosexual, and haven't been confused or anything like that. I respect other people's sexual preference as I do other people's religion...I'm not the kind of person who insults people for being gay or lesbian or bi or anything like that. I just want to know how having a belief one way or the other qualifies as "not comfortable" with sexuality. If anyone has any input on this, I'd appreciate it! =)

-Laurie-


Posts: 33 | From: Dallas, TX, USA (sometimes) | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lintu
Neophyte
Member # 238

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I don't want to answer that because I would cause some kind of argument, probably, which I definitely don't want to do. =( I didn't mean to make this a religious debate at all.

I understand that many people don't agree with the "God says it's wrong" thing, and that's fine, but I don't understand why it's wrong to have some sort of beliefs. Isn't it just as okay to think of something in one way as it is to think of it in the opposite? I'm just not making the connection between what I said and what he said. Is it really just his questioning why I believe the way I do?

I have no clue...I just want to know what it means, because I have heard it in so many other situations (not to me, though) and I'm really curious!

-Laurie-


Posts: 33 | From: Dallas, TX, USA (sometimes) | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lee
Activist
Member # 381

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He was just being an ******* and repeating to you what he'd seen said to other people. Another version of this is when somone accuses a person of secretly being gay because they're opposed to homosexuality.

He was trying to put you on the defensive, nothing more. He put no more thought into the meaning behind his words than if he had physically hit you.

Next time just tell him that you're not the one conducting a survey of other people's opinions in order to feel better about your own. If he felt comfortable about his sexuality he never would have bothered asking you how you felt about homosexuality, and he never would have responsed as he did to your answer.

Personally I think that what anyone does sexually is their own business. Its not my place to really have much of an opinion about another person's sexual preference as long as they aren't hitting on me.

My choices about my life apply to me, and their choices apply to thier life. Whether we make the same choices or different ones isn't what makes either of us right or wrong.

Lee


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Lintu
Neophyte
Member # 238

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Lee, that's exactly how I feel! (The part about choices). I don't think I have any authority to make decisions for anyone else...only for myself. He did apologize to me though for acting that way...but it still really made me think about it.

And when you said that "another version of this is when somone accuses a person of secretly being gay because they're opposed to homosexuality."...I hear people being told that very often and it really gets on my nerves. If they want to know what someone thinks, why do they immediately accuse them of lying??

-Laurie-


Posts: 33 | From: Dallas, TX, USA (sometimes) | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Actually, I'm going to interject a little here just to give you food for thought, not to invalidate what you're saying, because I do agree, no one should second-guess anyone else in defining their own sexuality.

HOWEVER, studies have been done with people who are homophobic (which are very similar to those done with women and pornography) to measure people's reactions who SAY they cannot stand homosexuality and so forth. More times than not, those who ARE the most homophobic actually measure in terms of sexual response as being VERY aroused by homosexual material.

More times than not, when people in anything protest a LOT to something, or are just disgusted to the point of vitriol with something, it generally has at least SOMETHING to do with their own internal issues of being very afraid to embrace what that thing is.

But in any event, because you have problems with homosexuality is not (to me, anyway) indicative of you being uncomfortable with your sexuality, but with someone else's orientation. In fact, that your friend puts homosexuality or bisexuality merely in a sexual realm at all is a mistake on his part. Orientation is NOT sexual preference. Though sexual preference comes into play within the framework of orientation, they are nothing close to the same thing. No one chooses to be heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual.


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Equinox
Neophyte
Member # 296

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Just throwing in my two cents Lintu -

I think when some people feel strongly about things, they want other people to see things in the same way. And when they encounter something who totally disagrees, they get defensive. I personally don't think that is valid to assume that a person who is against homosexuality may not be comfortable with their own sexuality, but I DO tend to wonder how comfortable that person is with sexuality and love as a whole. I'll admit it...When someone tells me that they disagree with my bisexuality because of God, I get so confused. What I learned about God in my church all revolved around love, respect, and doing unto others as you would have others do unto you.

I have a very hard time understanding why someone would equate religion with my sexuality.

Just as you are having a hard time understanding why someone else would equate your beliefs with your sexuality.

Isn't it funny how we all sort of go around in circles? But anyway, my point is Lintu that you probably shouldn't take the phrase personally, sometimes people say things they don't mean to defend their point of view.


Posts: 27 | From: Connecticut, U.S.A | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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