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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » The Randoms » Older Strangers, etc.

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Author Topic: Older Strangers, etc.
PoetgirlNY
Activist
Member # 168

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I have a bit of a thing for older men that are complete strangers. I have recently realized that acting on these ideas only lead to trouble. Is it a bad idea to have phone sex or cyber sex with older men that I don't know? As of writing this, I just finished having phone sex with a 23 y/o I found online. I called him collect so it wouldn't be on my phone bill and I wouldn't have to give him my number. I had been physically acting on these desires, but lately it's just felt out of control. Also, my parents found out about one of my escapades and it's just too hectic. Would phone sex be a good alternative? Is there some way I'm not thinking of that someone could find out my phone number or anything? I lie about my name, age, and location, so they couldn't just look it up.
Thanks a bunch,
Yalith

Posts: 1101 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
HotGrrl99
Activist
Member # 105

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Sounds like you are looking for trouble. What did your 'rents catch you doing? I was told that some people can trace your phone numbers and stuff. Why don't you just do cyber stuff through chatrooms or email?

[This message has been edited by HotGrrl99 (edited June 20, 2000).]


Posts: 384 | From: Malibu, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Hanne
Sexpert
Member # 100

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Yalith --

While I'm not against either phone sex or cybersex per se, and I think you can learn a lot about sex and sexual communication with them, I also think that if you feel out of control, that should be setting off your warning bells.

Feeling out of control is not a good thing. When we feel out of control, we make stupid decisions. When we make stupid decisions, we can get hurt, sometimes very seriously.

My advice to you is this: STOP. Take a vacation. Don't do it for a month or so. Find a hobby, masturbate a lot, go for long walks with friends, volunteer for an organization you are interested in, write a novel, whatever... but do something ELSE for a while. Give yourself some space and time to think about what you're doing and, more importantly, why you're doing it.

You may have very good internal reasons for wanting to explore cybersex and phone sex. If so, and you decide that your reasons are good enough for you, then you can go back to figuring out how you might want to carry on your sex life in those realms. If not, you've learned something really important about yourself.

I think you'll have to gauge for yourself the level of relative risk in having cybersex or phone sex if you choose to continue doing it. Phone sex gets expensive, and even calling collect leaves you open to call tracing and, in some cases, Caller ID. Online or on the phone, your anonymity may not be as secure as you think it is. But these aren't the most important issues here -- the most important issue is figuring out why you're feeling out of control, and why you're doing what you're doing and why you've been wanting to do it.

------------------
Hanne Blank
Associate Editor, Scarleteen

"Be Excellent To Each Other" -- Bill and Ted


Posts: 1538 | From: boston, ma, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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