Wow. That's really rude, what your dad is doing. I'm sorry for you, because it must be really embarrassing, to say nothing of uncomfortable.
I think that it's time to sit down with both your parents and tell them that it is very uncomfortable for you to have anyone else making announcements about your sex life. It is okay for your parents to be afraid of your sexuality -- most parents are a little afraid of their children's sexuality as their kids become sexual human beings -- but it is really not okay for anyone's parent to go around making announcements about a child's sexuality.
The tricky part here is that it is very likely that your parents may make assumptions about what you have done sexually, or what you are likely to do sexually, if you tell them that you don't like the announcement-making that is going on.
It's important to tell them that you take sex very seriously. It's probably important to let them know that you have not had sex at this point. It's important to say that you have taken it upon yourself to get educated about sex, about the pros and cons, and about things like birth control and STDs. Feel free to tell them that you've asked some professional sex educators about it and that they think you're being really responsible in your thinking, if you want to (I do think you're being *very* responsible! Good for you!).
But it is also important to tell both of your parents that while you understand how serious sex is, you also need to have them respect the fact that your body is your own and that your decisions are your own to make. It's as rude and uncalled-for for your father to announce HIS decisions about your sexuality as it would be for you to announce your decisions about his.
Your parents obviously did not raise you to take sex lightly. They did not raise you to make stupid decisions about sex. You are exhibiting very sound judgement about sex, in fact, particularly because you are putting so much effort into knowing what the risks are and learning about birth control and STD prevention. The fact is, your parents should be proud of the fact that they have raised a daughter who is so thoughtful and so responsible. I would be proud of you if you were my child for making the kinds of decisions and doing the kinds of research you have done.
You may or may not be able to get your father to respect this. Your mother may or may not be able to help. I tend to think that your father is probably very afraid, deep down, of what might happen to you if you had sex. He's probably aware that there are a lot of guys out there who would be bad for you, and guys who might use you just to get sex and who would hurt you. All that is true, and he probably feels powerless about that. It probably makes him angry and hurt.
And that's life. Children grow up and turn into adults. It's hard to watch your children have to face a world where they can be hurt. It's very tempting to try to lock them away from that world, very tempting to try to use parental power to control children's lives as those children grow up.
But the truth is that your life is ultimately your own. Your body is ultimately your own. The decisions you make about what to do with your body and your life are ultimately your own. Your father can make announcements and try to tell you what to do by announcing what he expects of you all he wants, but the decision ultimately comes down to you.
He probably doesn't realize that he's being rude. He probably doesn't realize that he's hurting your feelings by making these kinds of announcements. He's probably making other people uncomfortable when he does it, too -- most people don't publicly talk about their own sex lives or those of their children. It's not going to be easy to talk to him about that and it's not going to be easy to convince him.
Ultimately, you may have to simply say "Dad, you raised me to be honest with you. You also raised me to be smart and to make good decisions about my life. I think you and Mom have done a great job and you are still doing a great job. I wish you gave me some credit for being able to do what you've taught me to do."
Good luck. And remember -- ultimately, it's your call.
Associate Editor, Scarleteen
"Be Excellent To Each Other" -- Bill and Ted