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Author Topic: Ahhhh!
WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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Okay so here is the story. I had just finished fingering my girlfriend and she got up. I immediately put my bare penis between her butt cheeks near the anus. I did not go inside her vagina but she said she felt precum on her cheeks. She quickly wiped it and i looked to see if there was anything there an i couldnt see anything but im worried precum may have dripped into her vagina somehow. Her period is one to two days away. Im debating plan b. I understand i should have used a condom but it was the heat of the moment you know? I also masturbated about 2 hours beforehand if that makes a difference. Thank you!
-oh and we are very sure i did not touch her vulva directly because i did not feel it nor did she. it was more around her anus where she found the precum

[ 07-24-2014, 07:11 PM: Message edited by: WhatsHappening ]

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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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Oh and is this considered "direct contact" if i did not touch her vagina but only buttox?
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Edith_*
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Whenever there's a direct contact between genitals (and yes, penis-anus is a direct contact) there's a risk of pregnancy but if you didn't ejaculate -- be that near the vulva or the anus-- then the risk is really, really low.

Moving forward, as you already said, it would be better to use a condom for all direct contact in the future. [Smile]

--------------------
"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it " (...'cause no one else will) -Gandhi-

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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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so if i had precum drip near her anus to her vulva is that something to lose sleep over?

Should i buy her EC?

What if my penis touched her vagina somehow directly and we didnt notice (unlikely)?

And by ejaculate do you mean precum or full blown ejaculation or both?

Shes experiencing pms symptoms of cramping. Doesnt that mean she isnt ovulating and therefore has a much lowered risk of pregnancy?

SOrry for the multitude of questions. Shes leaving tomorrow for vacation and i need to figure this all out today...

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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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so if i had precum drip near her anus to her vulva is that something to lose sleep over?

Should i buy her EC?

What if my penis touched her vagina somehow directly and we didnt notice (unlikely)?

And by ejaculate do you mean precum or full blown ejaculation or both?

Shes experiencing pms symptoms of cramping. Doesnt that mean she isnt ovulating and therefore has a much lowered risk of pregnancy?

SOrry for the multitude of questions. Shes leaving tomorrow for vacation and i need to figure this all out today...

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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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also is wasnt exactly on the anus it was just near it more on the cheek...
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Edith_*
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If your girlfriend isn't traking her cervical mucus and basal temperature, there is no way to know if she is ovulating or not.

Per the pregnancy risk, there's a chance with ejaculate and pre-ejaculate that could drip down and end up in the vagina but the risk is considerably smaller with pre-ejaculate.

Also, about Plan B, that's something that you need to decide WITH your girlfriend as SHE is the one that would be taking it. I can't tell you for sure if you should buy it for her or not as I wasn't there and I can't know exactly what happened but looks like this is something you should be talking with her. Do you have a sense of how is she feeling about this?

--------------------
"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it " (...'cause no one else will) -Gandhi-

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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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i know we arent supposed to bump but i need an answer [Frown] . Really sorry.
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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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She is feeling very insecure and scared. She is like a day away from her period so can you maybe explain why this does not matter in fertility? And as per the risk with precum, does the chance increase if i masterbated 2 hours beforehand? If there was any precum i would imagine it was a tiny amount. She doesnt want the EC because she doesnt want her cycle all messed up and feels like she may be overreacting. She basically left it up to me which is a huge responsibility. But in your expert opinion does it seem like a great risk?
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Edith_*
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Just FYI, bumping a post is not going to get you an answer any faster.

--------------------
"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it " (...'cause no one else will) -Gandhi-

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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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Sorry about that haha *looks embarassed*
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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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But is it possible to answer my last post please? Sorry for the hassle
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Heather
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Why don't you have a read of this, which explains all that is needed for a pregnancy to happen, since it sounds like you are missing some facts: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodies/where_did_i_come_from_a_refresher_course_in_human_reproduction

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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So i understood from this how it all happens. Im evaluating my risk to be small since i didnt ejaculate on or inside her. But the risk is still there. I guess im just having anxiety issues. Am i losing sleep over nothing? Her stomach is hurting as if her period is about to come so that helps ease me.
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Heather
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Chances are you are losing sleep because you are dealing with something it sounds like you are not feeling at all ready for.

At this point, there is nothing to do about those past choices. There just is not. But what you can do that is in your control and most productive is reevaluate what you feel ready to deal with, and then make choices moving forward that better fit your own needs and abilities in that department. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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I understood from the article that the egg moves by very quickly and if nothing is there then it wont be fertilized. If she is so close to her period, does that mean she is most likely not ovulating anymore?
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Heather
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Ovulation is only something that lasts for a day or two each cycle. Really, it is only something that occurs for a single moment, when it all comes down to it.

But again. What you are asking about is in the past. You cannot make any more choices about that now, so seeking information about what may or may not have been happening then, especially asking about something like her fertility cycle, which we can't know much about if she does not chart it daily and accurately.

This is not a productive use of our time or yours. Figuring out what is better for you from here on out is, especially since you can only make choices in the present or future in the first place. If you would like help doing that, we are glad to help with that.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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And on that note: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/14/t/000387/p/1.html#000000

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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thank you for your help guys. Love the website. Very helpful. You wouldnt believe how inaccurate other websites could be
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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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im also encouraging her to get on birth control so this type of thing doesnt happen in the future. Il try to acquire condoms as well. Thanks for the support
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Heather
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Oh, we know. That is a big part, maybe even the biggest, of the most trying part of this gig [Frown] Welcome to our eternal torment. [Razz]

That said, we do have a piece to help people learn, if they have not in their education, how to seek out credible sexual health information. If you would like that, it is right here: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/etc/legit_or_unfit_finding_safe_sound_sex_educators_support_online

Because the good news is, you can mostly screen for that in your own choices with what you read and how you look for information so it truly is a non-issue for you (and us!).

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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You know, if you are asking her to look into things like taking a daily medication for birth control, then I think you getting condoms needs to be a given, not a try.

Condoms, after all, are easier to get than almost any other method, have the fewest side effects (and even when they do, only when you are using them at the time, not daily and even when a person is not having sex), are one of the least expensive methods, and also are the only method that provides protection against infections, which, like pregnancy, would also have an impact on her body in ways they would usually not with yours.

So, how about making that a "will do," before ANY other sexual activity, and also as a small thing you can do if you are asking her to do something that asks a lot more of her, eh? [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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well then im off to the store for some condoms haha!
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Heather
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High-fives all around. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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oh and one last thing. How can i calm her down on this one because i tried telling her the facts and how its pretty unlikely to happen but she said that any risk makes her freak out, Im having a harder time calming her down than i do calming myself!
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Heather
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Well, you probably can't calm her down. Especially at this point if you already drummed all this up, you know? You both probably mostly need to just take care of yourselves and calm yourselves down.

But I would suggest talking together about just stepping away, for now, from ANYTHING that either of you feel scared of. A lot of young women, in particular, feel like sex is something they have to do when they have a boyfriend, so that boyfriend making very clear that no one has to do anything they do not feel ready for or comfortable wi can really go a long way to ease these kinds of anxieties.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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WhatsHappening
Neophyte
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So il try to assure her that her period will come and sit down with her and tell her that we dont have to do anything she isnt ready for. Il try to focus on other things in our conversations and not the minuscule risk that stirs up all this anxiety. Thanks so much Heather you've been a great help. I dont want to take any more time out of your schedule so Il just say awesome work! Keep it up and have a good day! [Smile]
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Heather
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You're quite welcome. [Smile] Hang in there!

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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