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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » Is this a sign? So much anxiety

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Author Topic: Is this a sign? So much anxiety
Zaina
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I have posted before that it has been 82 days since my pregnancy risk. I did not have intercourse but my boyfriend was rubbing his penis directly on my vagina, there was no penetration or ejaculation. It has been 3 months since the incident and i have had 3 light periods and 20+ negative pregnancy tests. However today i noticed that my nipples are darker than they usually are, almost a purple color. If i was pregnant i would be 14 weeks pregnant by now and i took a digital clear blue test this morning, it was negative. I am 8 days away from my next period. Isn't darkened nipples what happens in pregnancy?
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Redskies
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The reply I left on your other thread should help you out: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/10/t/002668.html

Also, check this out: Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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Zaina
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Thank you so much. I've checked it out and I've also looked at the pregnancy symptom link and that scares me because i had some of those symptoms.
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Zaina
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Why would i have darker nipples if I'm not pregnant? Is it normal?
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Zaina
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Also, are white dots around the areola normal?
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Heather
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Yep, they are.

You know, when people get scared about pregnancy, they tend to become hyperobservant about their bodies, which often includes noticing things that either have happened before -- but they just didn't notice because they were not freaking out or checking their bodies obsessively then -- or subtle changes that seem like more than that.

But if you are still worried about this three months later? It truly is time to just see a doctor, be that to make clear to you you are not pregnant, or to help you with ongoing anxiety.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Zaina
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That makes sense, i have become alot more observant and I'm always looking for the littlest changes in my body. Thank you so much for replying, i am so grateful for you and this website at this moment. Keep doing what you do. So its pretty safe for me to now move on and believe that i am 100% not pregnant right? I even took a pregnancy test this morning, at what is suppose to be 14 weeks pregnant and it was a clear negative
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Zaina
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Hello,
so sorry to bother you again, forgive me. I just wanted to add that i realised when i am wearing my bra, my nipples are their normal pink color. But they darken when i am not wearing a bra or nothing is touching them. Could this just be due to circulation and not pregnancy?

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Heather
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Yep.

But again, you keep asking about pregnancy. It's really not sound for us to keep talking to you about something as a maybe when there is something very simple you can do for yourself to know the answer. And until you do that, us continuing to invest time in your maybes just isn't a good use of our time or yours.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Zaina
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Dear Heather,
Sorry for posting again but i was reading through the article you linked about symptoms. It says that one of the early symptoms could be a lighter or shorter period. My first period after the incident was 8 days late and it was quite light (only 2 days long). I started birth control that month after that period and i took it for 2 months. During those 2 months i got the withdrawal bleeds on time and they were normal in quantity. Do those withdrawal bleeds count as periods? The 1st period after the incident was late and light, the 2nd and 3rd were withdrawal bleeds. Would a pregnant women get withdrawal bleeds if she is not birth control? Also, my 3rd period/ withdrawal bleed during the 7 day break from birth control was quite heavy, with cramps and lasted 4 days. Also, the article states : "Some young people worry that they may be pregnant even when they have or seem to have normal periods. That's pretty unlikely. If it looks like a period, acts like a period, and comes when you expect your period, it probably is a period, and it is not likely you are pregnant". It says that is unlikely or not likely, so does this mean its not impossible? and some women actually have periods during pregnancy? During the incident, there was direct genital to genital contact, but there was no ejaculation at all. Does this make chances much less likely? Or is it equally risky because there could've been presence of pre-ejaculation? If i was pregnant, today I'd be 14 weeks pregnant. This morning i took 2 different brands of pregnancy tests and they were both negative. Sorry for the long message, there were just some things that i needed to understand more because the articles confused me and the fact that one of the symptoms is a late, lighter or shorter period scared me even more..
Thank you in advance

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Zaina
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Sorry, i meant would a pregnant women still get withdrawal bleeds is she is on birth control?
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Zaina
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I also wanted to ask, does decidual bleeding affect pregnancy tests?
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Sam W
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I'm glad you took the step of testing, because hey, now you have your answer. As long as you took the two pregnancy tests correctly, you can trust those results. To answer your questions, no, a woman who is on BC with not get a withdrawl bleed if they are pregnant. And no, decidual bleeding would not effect you test results.

I think what would be best for you right now is to take a break from reading about pregnancy, both here and other places. Because you are still keeping yourself in a freak-out spiral, which probably feels pretty sucky on your end. Give yourself 24 hours (at least) of no pregnancy reading and do some self care instead:
Self-Care a La Carte

After that, if you'd like to talk with us about anything else (like how to make sexual choices you're more comfortable with, different BC methods, etc), we'd can do that. But no more asking us about this pregnancy scare, okay?

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Zaina
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Thank you so much. So it has highly unlikely that i bled for each of the 3 months after thr incident and i am still pregnant right? The first 2 bleeds were light but the 3rd month it was heavy with cramps
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Zaina
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Also these arent the first tests i've taken. I've taken around 30 in the last 82 days since the incident
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eve077
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Taking 30 tests and all of them being negative, you can pretty much guarantee that you're not pregnant, as well as the added reassurance of periods! :-)
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Zaina
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Thank you [Smile]
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Zaina
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Also, I would probably have a baby bump by week 14 right? my stomach is still the same. When does pregnancy usually show?
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Zaina
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I was doing fine but then the past week i've been having constant headaches, a stuffy nose and mucus in my throat. What scares me is that all these are things that pregnant women go through.
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Heather
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They are things all people, period, can and often do go through. Including people who cannot even become pregnant, ever.

Truly, it is very clear you are suffering from anxiety and obsessive thinking. If you want that to change, I cannot encourage you enough to seek out the mental healthcare that can help you do that.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Zaina
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You're right. So i guess i should stay away from buying anymore pregnancy tests right?
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Heather
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A trip to the pharmacy would be a trip not used to get the kind of help you need, and more pregnancy tests would really just be more of you doing exactly what keeps you stuck in this.

So, if you want to stay miserable and stuck in this irrational panic, by all means, keep reassurance seeking, obsessively reading pregnancy scares and taking tests (which, at the level you have been buying them at, has already cost you more than several therapy sessions would have, sessions which already would probably have you feeling better).

But if you want to feel differently than you have been? You cannot keep doing these things, nope. You have to instead choose to seek out the kind of things that help you mive forward, like mental healthcare.

But we do need to set a firm limit with you now on reassurance seeking here. Our aim is to help people, not enable them or help them stay stuck in misery. So, no more questions or discussion about pregnancy symptoms between us and you from here on out. We are happy, however, to help you find mental healthcare if you need help, and to support you once you start getting that care and working with someone to manage this stuff.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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