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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » Scared of my own sperm

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Author Topic: Scared of my own sperm
WorriedBen
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Okay I'm very scared of my own sperm and precum and semen and all that, I can't even masturbate anymore, when I wake up and my underwear is wet I can't even touch it because I feel like I'm spreading it everywhere like if they were germs, I feel like my sperms are super strong and can survive through everything really, it feels like I'm that special Someone with super strong sprem, I'm soo scared when my gf tries touching my penis, I feel like the girl in this relationship because guys are always the ones to make the moves and try to do things you know ?I'm soo scared to get her pregnant that I don't even let her touch me because if she goes to the bathroom later on I'm scared she might have touched precum if there was any and then somehow miraculously touched herself on accident, I hate worrying. How do I deal with this ? And I really can't see a health care provider or a therapist I'm only a teenager/: I can't really go anywhere
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WorriedBen
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I just realized I posted in the wrong place sorry ):
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Sam W
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Hi Worriedben,

It sounds like there may be an underlying thing here that's causing these thoughts. Have you ever looked into counseling around anxiety? Because if not, that's the first step. Being a teenager does not exclude you from seeing a therapist or counselor. Do you have any sense of what kind of mental healthcare resources you have access too?

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WorriedBen
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Yes but what do I tell my parents that's would be just akward and we don't talk like that at all, I've read here that they are only viable for 20-30 minutes which should be a fact sense it's on here, but my mind somehow believes it could last longer than that, it's not like I'm feeling sick it's just a thought that doesn't make me feel like the same person anymore, I haven't masturbated in a while, and I've read all the articles that don't pose risk but I feel like I'm gonna be that one person that it actually happened to, do I make sense ?):
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Sam W
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The things is, it sounds like you've been reading all the info we have on the site about why what you're worried about is an impossibility. The fact that what you read in those articles doesn't seem to be sticking? That's a cue that there's something else up. Me repeating those facts, or repeatedly reassuring you, may feel good in the moment but is not a long term solution. I think it's sound, at this point, to call in someone who can help you with the anxiety you're feeling in a way that will help you in the long run.

You don't have to go into all of the nitty-gritty details with your parents. You can simply say that you're been having a lot of anxiety, and that you feel you need to see someone. There might also be some resources that you can access without them.

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WorriedBen
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You say impossibitly, so manual sex with precum on fingers is impossible, or would you say on the verge of being impossible, because I read posts and I've seen it say, unlikely, or not likely to occur, and I feel like it could really happen to me. But then I read the articles and I read it says no risk so I'm basically getting different answers from the people that write the articles, and when you're having a scare you tend to over think things and think for the worse. And idk why some people (not you guys) say that it is possible for it to happen

And yeah I guess you're right about not going into details but maybe I could talk like with an adult or someone that I'm close to and comfortable with.
Ps. Thank you for not closing the topic and taking the time to explain things to me

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Volunteer Ruth
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If 'impossible' it's what you've read around Scarleteen, then that's the odds we're going for.

I think seeking help for your anxiety would be more beneficial than us re-iterating facts for you that it seems like you've already read. Is that something that you think you can do?

If you're at school, there should be a school counsellor that can either see you or direct you on to other services, which could be helpful for you.

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WorriedBen
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She's suppose to start soon, she's been moody and having a lot of cravings, and sense you told me there's no risk it must he her period correct ?
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Heather
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She'll be able to know that when it arrives.

I mean, people often have mood shifts, especially when they're younger. People also are often hungry and have food cravings. These things can happen when people are and are not pregnant, are getting or are not getting periods: they are both very common occurrences in most people's lives. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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WorriedBen
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Heather sense you worked with sperms, have you tested their viability on a hand and things like that ? I'm soo scared to even touch myself
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Heather
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I'm not sure what you mean by my working with sperm cells?

You can't, however, do things like test the viability of a sperm cell on the hand (no one can). A sperm cell, all by itself, cannot actually do anything in terms of creating a pregnancy. They are only one of many factors involved. And there is no such thing as "super-strong" sperm that behave the way you are imagining.

I think it's telling that you expressed feeling like they were like germs, and like you are afraid to even touch your own body. They're not at all like germs, but that you FEEL these ways is what's important here, because that shows so clearly that this is probably almost exclusively about an anxiety disorder, not about a lack of knowledge. Phobias about germs -- or anything people feel like are germs or germ-like -- is a very common manifestation of anxiety.

I strongly suggest you do whatever you can to seek out some mental healthcare, and do yourself a favor and limit, or not do, anything triggering these feelings until you get that care.

Are you currently enrolled in school? If so, have you started by visiting the school counselor to ask them for what resources are available to you in healthcare for anxiety?

[ 07-03-2014, 11:44 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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WorriedBen
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So when semen is wiped or dried out they aren't viable anymore ?
But if there were in the seminal fluid then their viability lasts 30 minutes ?. Am I getting this info correctly ?

I am not actually ): but I could take a break from these actions that way I won't even have to worry

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Heather
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It's even more than that: sperm cells, all by themselves, cannot do ONE SINGLE THING.

Have you read this yet: Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide?

If not, and facts about sperm, pregnancy, and how it all works are very clearly, and in great detail, all there for you if you think those will help.

But again, I truly doubt this is about a lack of facts, and even in ways it might be, without what very much sounds like some mental health stuff under it, I do not think you would be feeling this way. And for sure, that includes doing anything that is an anxiety trigger for you when you have a choice about doing it. And if it's any kind of consensual sex, the good news is you always have a choice.

So, not enrolled in school: want to fill me in on your scoop so we can help you find mental healthcare through other avenues?

[ 07-03-2014, 12:57 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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WorriedBen
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Yes I have read almost every article here and I've also re read them many times, but if heather corina tells me there's no risk then I trust you very much because you're basically THE expert!
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Heather
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You know, it's okay to say no on help finding mental healthcare: we're always going to respect when a user says no to us around things like that.

Just know that if you find yourself continuing to feel like this -- and unfortunately, I suspect you will, because alas, logic and facts don't treat anxiety -- the offer stands, and we're happy to help you see what you can find to get that care. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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WorriedBen
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The only thing that will make me feel better is if she starts her period ): that's what will give me relief and taking a brake from sexual actions will also make me feel better and maybe later on I will over come my fears about semen and precum and getting her pregnant
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Heather
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Well, the good news is that will happen, and given most menstrual cycles, probably within a few weeks.

And you certainly do not have to do anything that makes you feel this way, so that, too, is doable.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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WorriedBen
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Well she is suppose to start the 11th, but she usually starts sooner than that, last time she started like 4 or 5 days early , and she's been moody soo I guess it's coming and you said it will (: you give me a lot of releif , you're a great help to everyone here on scarleteen and we all appreciate it (:
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Heather
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Sure thing, Ben. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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