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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » Is it irrational to still be scared.

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Author Topic: Is it irrational to still be scared.
superkick55
Neophyte
Member # 110638

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Hi, so my gf and I had unprotected sex ten days before her period and i did finish inside her. I forgot that she stopped taking her birth control ten days prior, but She then made sure to take the morning after pill the next day and started taking her birth control again that very same day ( i don't know if its effective after a break that long) and there had not been an sexual activity from that point on. Well, her next expected period came three days later than she expected, and her following period came a week later than usual. So shes has had her two expected periods since then. The first period was three days late and the other was a week late. she claims that everything is fine and that her periods are no different than when she usually gets them ( same flow, color, and duration) and that the plan b she had taken was the possible reasons for her periods being late. she says I shouldn't be worried and that everything is fine and that she feels no symptoms other symptoms of pregnancy. She already has a child from a previous relationship.
Two weeks ago she and her family went out of town to visit some family, and she was stressed and she didn't really want to go and that it made her anxious, and this past weekend she had an attack of anxiety and even ended up passing out. she went to the hospital, but they just said it was most likely due to her anxiety and let her leave. Ever since that day she has been freaking out about what exactly had happened to her, and she is now complaining that she is getting headaches,feeling as if she hasn't gotten enough rest/sleep, and has been drinking tons of water ( but she says is due to her being out in the sun all day with her family) I brought up the fact that I'm worried about her, and the possibility that she might be pregnant, but she keeps telling me that shes positive that she isn't pregnant due to her getting her period every month and whatnot, but I cannot seem to shake the feeling. I'm constantly stressing about it. I know that if she was pregnant it would just be terrible timing. Is there any reason to worry that she could be pregnant or any reason to worry at all. Does the fact that she has received both her periods pretty much rule out pregnancy? She took a test and it came back negative, but I've read so much stuff about false negatives being a possibility,
She hasn't been feeling well since that day she fainted, and anything she says just triggers the anxiety of her being pregnant. Perhaps I need psychological help
Is it normal to still be scared? Sorry, I just have really bad anxiety about all this, and I just want to know everything is okay.

Posts: 5 | From: CA | Registered: Jun 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Welcome to the boards, superkick55. [Smile]

What I hear you saying is that this scared the pants off of you, and you STILL feel that a pregnancy would absolutely, positively not be something you want to deal with any time soon. I also hear you saying that your girlfriend feels the same way, and that you both are having a hard time letting go of your fears and anxiety around this.

So, here's what I would suggest:
1) That she go into a healthcare provider for the headaches and such that are still bothering her. That way she can get help with those, and if she -- not just you -- is not sure they are not due to pregnancy, a pregnancy test to make that clear. And if she is having anxiety she needs help managing, that's step one there, too.

2) You figure out what you need to do for yourself around this. For instance, if you are still engaging in sex where pregnancy is a possibility, maybe you don't feel ready for that. Or, if you're doing so without dual contraception -- two methods like her using the pill and you using condoms -- maybe some of how you're feeling is because you're still not doing what you need to with this to feel as safe -- and be as safe -- as you can with it. Maybe you need to work all of this out in your relationship so you two don't keep (since it sounds like this is part of the deal), triggering each other with this, and working together to NOT let it go. Or maybe you want to check in with a healthcare provider about your own anxiety. Maybe all of those things maybe none: you'll need to try and get to the bottom of how you're feeling, and tune in to you own sense of what you can try here.

How does that feel for a start to you?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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superkick55
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Member # 110638

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I understand what you're saying, I really do feel guilty for not controlling myself better, and the though of having a child now would just wouldn't be a good time. She assures me not to worry and that everything is fine and that it's nothing to worry about anymore. But I question everything and I feel so unsure about everything.

I also mentioned to her that she should go see a doctor, but she just didn't want to bother with it. Which just made me more anxious.

[ 06-24-2014, 04:57 AM: Message edited by: superkick55 ]

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Sam W
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 108189

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So, of the options Heather mentioned, would you like info on how to scale back sexual behavior to a level where you feel more comfortable, or would you like info on doubling up on birth control (or both)?

You mention questioning everything and feeling unsure all the time. Is that something that's an ongoing pattern for you?

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superkick55
Neophyte
Member # 110638

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I would like info on both.

Yes, question a lot of things and obsess over things at times. It definitely is a pattern for me.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Okay!

Why don't you start with these pieces, then circle back round to the boards if you have any questions. [Smile]

The Buddy System: Effectiveness Rates for Backing Up Your Birth Control With a Second Method
(Though seriously, the easy answer here is just to start having and using condoms)
Whoa, There! How to Slow Down When You're Moving Too Fast
When Sex "Just Happened" (And How to Make It Happen Instead)

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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