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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » question on manual sex with precum

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Author Topic: question on manual sex with precum
sail
Neophyte
Member # 38289

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Hi,

I can see you've gotten this type of question a lot and I have read the overviews on pregnancy risk but I have a more specific question.

I have read that manual sex has no risk of pregnancy, whether there was precum or not (i.e she was giving me a handjob then fingered herself). Meaning for there to be a risk of pregnancy there would need to be significant fresh semen inserted directly into vagina.

My question is recently my girlfriend was giving me a handjob and straddled me while I was lying down. She had nothing on and at one point her clitoris touched the base of my shaft / top of balls. I have read that genital rubbing is a moderate risk of pregnancy but I am not sure how this isn't like manual sex. There was no ejaculate, precum would have had to been moved from the tip of my penis to the base of my shaft and then she would have had to have then sat on this (all without ever noticing any precum). I assume this mimics the situation of transferring precum from hand to vagina and has no risk? If she had touched her clitoris off the tip I would understand, but for it to have been moved by her hand down to the shaft and then sat on does not seem reasonable.

Also I had not ejaculated for over 12 hours and had urinated several times.

Thanks!

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Onionpie
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It sounds like the risk of your situation would be very very low, if there were one. Genital rubbing is considered a moderate risk because when they're being rubbed together fluids tend to be exchanged. But if her genitals only barely touched the very base of yours and you know there was no fluid exchange, then you can be pretty sure there was no pregnancy risk.
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sail
Neophyte
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Thanks for the quick response, the only possible fluid exchange could be precum being moved from the tip of my penis to the base by the stroking motion, and then her vagina touching the base with precum. But neither of us noticed anything significant. To me this is similar to questions about precum on fingers and then fingering which the site says is no risk. Correct?
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sail
Neophyte
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But I guess what I just said really isn't direct fluid exchange is it? Its more precum being potentially moved to the base of my shaft/top of balls and then her vagina touching that area only (no real rubbing).
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Onionpie
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Seems to me like it would be similar to the situation of having pre-ejaculate on one's fingers, yes. Although: with genitals being that much closer, it's a lot harder to know for SURE that there was no fluid exchange. So I think it's less of a sure thing than a precum-on-fingers situation, although still very low-risk if there was one.
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sail
Neophyte
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Sounds good final question:
By fluid exchange I assume you mean DIRECT fluid exchange? As in, precum moving directly from the penis into the vagina, not precum from penis being rubbed down to base of shaft then vagina sitting on this.

Cause I am 100% sure there was no direct fluid exchange, the only fluid exchange I am concerned about is the indirect one described above, which (assuming I am correct about no direct fluid exchange) is like precum on finger and carries no risk.

Correct?

Thanks again.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Direct in this case means one person's genitals to the other's genitals, in any way, rather than say, genital-to-hand-to-genital.

So, if your genitals were touching each other? That's direct. If they were not in any way? That's not.

If you don't want to take any risks direct genital contact involves, then moving forward from here, you'll want to avoid that kind of contact or start using some method of contraception in the mix, like a condom.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sail
Neophyte
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Sure but how can direct fluid exchange occur if her vagina does not touch the tip of my penis? It simply accidentally touched the top of my testicles/bottom of the shaft. My only worry is somehow precum was moved down to the base of my shaft and then her vagina touched it. Does this situation present a risk? Im just thinking that this would have the same risk as if she touched me and then touched herself.

It was not a purposeful thing that we did but I am aware next time its easier to just keep it clothed.

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Sam W
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Because if your genitals were touching, and there were fluids, then there was direct contact.

Like Onionpie said, the pregnancy risk of this contact is probably low. We can't say there is no risk, because we were not present and watching to see if the fluids came into contact with one another.

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sail
Neophyte
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I guess I just understood direct as coming directly from my penis straight into her vagina, not being moved down to the bottom of my shaft then her sitting on it. Still can't see how that can be worse than directly getting it on a finger and then physically inserting the finger.

Overall would you say combined with the fact that I urinated several time prior and the fact that neither of us noticed any fluid (it would have been very little if there was any) than I have nothing to worry about?

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sail
Neophyte
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I think after reading a bit more I can better write what I am confused about:

1. You cant get pregnant from precum on a finger. Meaning precum moved from penis to finger to vagina.

2. How then could you get pregnant if an unnoticeable amount of precum went from the penis, to the hand, then stroked down to the bottom of the penis, and then the vagina touches the very base of the penis. I understand the comment that if genitals are touching it is direct, but precum would not be directly moving to her vagina, its following a path that takes more or as many steps as the finger would.

Combing all this with urinating several times I cant understand how its even a low risk.

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sail
Neophyte
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If anyone could answer this one it would be much appreciated, I'd just like the clearly understand if and why there was a risk.
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sail
Neophyte
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I am simply curious if when onionpie was saying if you are SURE there was no fluid exchange he meant fluid going directly from the tip of my penis into her vagina, not being rubbed down to the base of my penis and then he vagina touching it.
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Sam W
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Sail, the thing is, there is no way for us to be sure that there was no direct fluid contact, since there was direct genital to genital contact. You are correct that this situation, as you've described it, poses a low risk. But there is no way for us to say for certain that it was without risk.

This actually has fewer chances for sperm to get damaged than manual sex does, because the sperm is going from the penis to the vagina, not from penis to hand to vagina.

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Heather
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We simply can never say there has not been a pregnancy risk with any penis/ vulva contact, because that is a kind of contact that poses pregnancy risks, even when people are using methods of contraception, be that a condom, the pill or withdrawal.

However, if and when no ejaculation occurred, but that contact did, the. We are basically talking about withdrawal being used properly, which is estimated to only present about a 4 % risk of pregnancy in one year of proper use, so that can give you an idea of what level of risk we are talking about.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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...and if you are not comfortable with that, then you know, moving forward, to either avoid that contact or use methods of contraception when doing so.

And since this is now in the past, that is all you can soundly do here, is consider what you feel best about and want with your future choices.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sail
Neophyte
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Alright, final question I promise.

It makes sense to me that you can't say zero risk if there was penis to vulva contact because you weren't there and can't verify that fluid did not directly enter her vagina from my penis.

But theoretically, if I was 100% sure that fluid did not go directly from the tip of my penis to her vagina, and the only way fluid could possibly go into her vagina would be if precum was moved via a stroking motion to the base of the penis (meaning the hand moved it down) and then her clit touches the top of balls/base of penis, than would this be no risk?

Thanks again this website is a fantastic resource and next time I will be more careful.

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Redskies
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I'm not sure that there's anything more we can say about this than we already have. What you're asking of us in your second statement here contradicts what you say you understand in your first statement; can you see that? We cannot say what you're asking us to say.

At this point, we also need you to stop asking us to say something we cannot say. As we've already said, if you don't feel comfortable with the kind of contact you had or the risk level it poses, the best thing we can suggest is that you make your future choices ones that you're more comfortable with, rather than staying stuck with something that's already done. We're happy to talk with you about your future choices, if that's something you'd like.

--------------------
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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sail
Neophyte
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One thing I completely forgot to mention up top and part of the reason I was confused, she is also on the combined pill. So that has to make this a non worry right?
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Sam W
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You can read about how effective the pill is at preventing pregnancy here:
Combined Oral Contraceptives (The Pill)

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