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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » Help Please

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Author Topic: Help Please
Member # 109091

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So, my parents were out of town about two weeks ago and my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time. But before that she gave me a hand job, and I ejaculated, then she wiped her hand off with a tissue and then touched herself. About two weeks ago exactly we actually had sex, protected with a condom, no holes, and I didn't ejaculate at all. Her period is a week late now, and all of the home pregnancy tests have been negative. I know she's been under a lot of stress, and if she doesn't get it in a few days, we'll be going to Planned Parenthood for testing to make sure she's not pregnant. Part of what I think the reason is is that we originally were going to wait till marriage to have sex, but we did it anyway, and she kinda regretted it a little. But she's always been paranoid about getting pregnant. What should I expect, and how worried should I be? Thank you so much for any help, although actual answers would be nice, not replies with a link. Thank you.
Posts: 3 | From: Washington | Registered: Dec 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jacob at Scarleteen
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Member # 66249

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Hi Kaduku welcome to scarleteen!

The reason we often just give short answers or even point people to links it's because we do have some really great resources that answer people's questions all by themselves! This is especially important when someone asks the same question a number of times.

It is also important that we encourage people to trust their own judgement on the information they have, beit articles or in your case those pregnancy test results. Because we often can't say anything new, however find ourselves serving an emotional purpose to support someone in not trusting themselves.

So there is a real good reason for us doing that.

Much of the time when I answer questions, I don't quite trust my memory and I look up the answers in those same articles.

That said, if that is you, we can have a conversation about why you might not be trusting those pieces of information, and what ways of thinking might helpful for you.

It sounds like your parents might be quite unsupportive of you experimenting sexually and that you guys feel there could be something 'wrong' about sex outside of marriage... I imagine those things play a massive part in how you're feeling!

Have you thought much about how to react to those things, and what you might do about it?

Posts: 694 | From: Leeds UK | Registered: May 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 109091

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No, I definitely trust those sources of information, but to be honest, it's nice to just read a response about what's happening from a real human being. Both of our parents are unsupportive of that, because we both come from Christian families. I don't essentially feel like I did any wrong, I just want to know how worried I should be about my girlfriend. We've both agreed that a medication abortion is definitely in the question though, I'm just scared we won't catch it.
Posts: 3 | From: Washington | Registered: Dec 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Hi kaduku!

Like Jacob already said, the reason why we give links & articles is because those links & articles have been written by "real human beings". The same "real human beings" who are -- most probably -- going to reply to this. We spend a lot of time putting together all this information and is important to us to also help all of you -- like Jacob explained before -- to learn how to trust your own judgement when you are looking for an answer.

Manual sex doesn't pose a risk of pregnancy and if when you had intercourse you used a condom and that condom didn't break or slip, then the risk of pregnancy is really, really low.

There is no way we can tell you how worried you should or should not be. That's not the way it works. If you are feeling worried about pregnancy, all you can do now is test, and sounds like that's something you are already planning on doing.

Do you think that, moving forward, adding another method of birth control is something you and your partner would be interested in? Is this something you would like to discuss?

"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it " (...'cause no one else will) -Gandhi-

Posts: 420 | From: Somewhere over the rainbow* | Registered: Jun 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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