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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » Chance of pregnancy? Very worried but not sure even though things look ok, I think.

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Author Topic: Chance of pregnancy? Very worried but not sure even though things look ok, I think.
MikeW09
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Thank you in advance for your time and knowledge, it is GREATLY appreciated! I will try to keep it short but want to make sure to include the details.

Also just want to say I've made a decision already that once everything is ok, I want to remain un-active in sex until I am married and financial capable. Too much I want to do to waste time worrying or worse!

So very late night March 1st into morning March 2nd, had unprotected sex part of the time. Used condom except for one brief 5 minute span in the middle of things. No full ejaculation, but possibility of pre-ejaculate fluid I suppose.

It did not hit me until a day later because i hopped on the internet and read things, so she took Plan B the afternoon of March 5th, so at about the 60 hour mark, within the recommended 72 hours for Plan B.

4 days later on March 9th around 6:00 in the evening she let me in on the fact that she was spotting (she was excited to see that because even though I read spotting isn't always normal and can be a side effect of Plan B, she says that's normal for her, she starts spotting and then gets her period).

The next day on the 10th I checked in with her and she said still spotting, "but cramping so i'm sure it's coming."

Next morning March 11th about 6 am she texted me saying "it's official!" but of course i wanted to clarify it wasn't spotting anymore and she said quote "no, complete opposite, all I wanna do is lay in bed with a heat pack."

From what she mentioned before, this was 3-4 days early from when she expected to get it (again i know Plan B states you could get earlier or later period or bleeding).

So I was relieved until, fast forward to Sunday April 20th (40 days later/about 5 and half weeks).
I happened to mention something about "that time of the month" and she was surprised because she just happened to be in "that time of the month".
I asked if it was "normal" and she laughed and said "everything was normal."

Being the worry wart I am I thought 40 days was a long time so I started googling, hence how I came across this site, for once where people seem knowledgeable and personable. But of course read horror stories along the way.

Since that 2nd (what I hope was a real period) we used 5 home pregnancy urine tests on April 26th (8 weeks after sex) and then 3 more a week later on May 3rd...all negative and read after 3 minutes per the instructions. BUT they were done in the evening, not first morning urine but from my understanding ANY urine would be reliable after 8 - 9 weeks after sex. They were First Response Early, some with the pink lines and some were digital.

So here we are. She seems to be going about business normally telling me I worry too much, but I am literally being eaten up alive inside (not eating for real) because I think of worst case and google horror stories of false negatives, and "my friend had monthly bleeding for her first 5 months of pregnancy," etc.

Just looking for some guidance and expert opinion here given the scenario and course of events. Thanks again anyone who is able to answer!

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Karybu
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With five negative pregnancy tests and two periods, you can be very sure that she is not pregnant. Also? People who get periods tend to know how those feel, what is their normal, and when something is off. Your partner has told you that she has not noticed anything different, that the periods she has had are periods, so you need to trust her. She knows her body best, and she's not concerned, which is really all the information you need.

Given how worried you are about this when there is clearly no reason to be concerned about pregnancy, I think your decision to hold off on sex until you're more ready is a really good one. If you still find you can't let this go, then looking into counseling to get some help with anxiety would be a good next step.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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MikeW09
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Thank you Karybu, that is definitely the kind of comforting re-assurance I need. I say re-assurance b/c I believe all is ok, but am also very aware that I'm just a born worrier, worst case scenario, even when there seems no logical reason for it.

If I may ask, just to ease my mind of other (probably tell-tales) posts I've read, what is your opinion on the following parts specifically?

I know you said, which I agree with, that I should trust her because she knows her body best, but I am the kind of person who likes to KNOW things, without relying on other people, and in this case being a guy that's really all I can do aside from trying to become more knowledgeable from a biological standpoint I guess.

- Anything that differentiates her first bleed as being her period come early vs. withdrawal bleed from the Plan B hormones, since the darn box says BOTH can be side effects? i.e. would cramping ever be associated with a withdrawal bleed? Since it was early morning could that be a sign of period rather than WB because body was more relaxed while sleeping, etc.

- Since I don't know her normal time frame and didnt ask if the "timing" was normal (i assume she just meant the feel was regular) is 40 days unusually long between bleeds? I know everyone's different, but still you normally read "28 - 32 for most women" so I wonder...

- Probably most troubling one...whats the DEAL with the internet and false negative pregnancy test?!?! I would like to think it's people posting who just didn't do the test right, or aren't fully disclosing everything, but sheesh, the percentage of false tests after a month or more from the encounter can't be that much can it? Thoughts?

Thanks again for your time, you have no idea how much I appreciate the support you are giving!

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Karybu
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There's really no way to know whether that first bleed was her period or bleeding due to the Plan B. Cramping can happen with either, and sleeping/relaxation really has nothing to do with it. Ultimately, this is one of those situations where you just can't know for sure.

A cycle of 40 days is on the long side, but Plan B can cause cycle irregularities and sometimes cycles are irregular just because. Without knowing what's normal for her, it's tough to say if 40 days is unusual in this particular situation.

As for what's up with the internet and all these "I didn't know I was pregnant!" stories, I wish I knew. Seriously, it would make my life (and the lives of all the other staff and volunteers here) so much easier. Some people don't take pregnancy tests properly. Some people lie, for all kinds of reasons. Some people do both. All I can say, honestly, is stay the heck away from Dr Google if you're freaking out about something health-related.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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MikeW09
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Member # 110263

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Haha, yeah that 3rd point, you're so right! I could have a cold and think it's a rare incurable disease if I googled long enough!

On the 2nd point, i kind of think that 40 may be on the long side too but i do know she has recently begun a new diet and exercise regimen which I hear can make cycles longer.

Thank you again [Smile]

And while I don't want to keep bothering you (I know you have others to help too!) I just want to say that I'm still very open to anyone else's thoughts who may come across this b/c as I said, I'm crazy like that and welcome as much feedback as is available!

I hope this doesn't go against any rules, but I would like to share with you, and other readers who may find this post and answer of yours helpful, a few recent occurrences in my life that I think have to be something more than just coincidence.
It's religious, but in no way preaching, some signs which I believe I received after praying to God during this troubling time. These all happened shortly after each prayer for them.

- After her taking the pill I prayed for a sign that there was no pregnancy from this, that i knew I had made a mistake and asked for mercy, and later that evening I found myself on a Live support chat wherein the rep unexpectedly ended up mentioning her belief in God and referenced a Psalm which was very peaceful when I read it later.

- Later i began worrying again, and again prayed for a sign that all would be ok, guess what, what more of a sign can you get than a 6 am text saying that her period came! (as we said it's hard to tell that it was for certain, but if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, chances are...)

- Reading certain passages from the old testament were comforting after this as they put into perspective that even when we do wrong, God still wants us to to be with him and he will help when we ask...even though such mercy seems rare in the world today elsewhere.

- Ironically during this time, our pastor started a new series in Church all about "Starting Over" which is what I decided to do when I said "no more until later in life when i'm married/ready." Funny how that happens when the message truly relates to your current feelings.

-Lastly, i sort of asked for another sign yesterday b/c, well you guessed it, im just a nervous wreck...anyway,guess who complimented my crucifix necklace as I checked out at the grocery store today...an employee named James, same name as the apostle referenced as the brother of Jesus!

Too much to be just coincidence I think, especially when other life crisis's and/or worries in the past not related to this one had somehow worked themselves out when i DEFINITELY didn't expect them to . Time for Baptism for me, I think I finally got the message and what better way to say "thank you" and "start over" [Smile]

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