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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » Wasn't concerned until I became 3 days late..

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Author Topic: Wasn't concerned until I became 3 days late..
Wanderlust45
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Hey Scarleteen,
Let me just start off by saying that I have trolled this website probably every single month for almost a year now. I love all the information and often times I can find the answers or reassurance without asking a question myself. [I've only ever asked one question here, back in August, which feels life times ago..]

I broke up with my boyfriend in March, my period was supposed to come that Thursday/Friday but due to the stress and losing about 5 lbs in 3 days, it came on the 15th, one day late.

Things with my boyfriend and I have been getting better, we're talking again, and we did end up getting physical on the 5th of April. That was the only time anything happened between us this cycle. It wasn't something I was concerned about at all. Here's basically what happened:

Dry sex, in which he had boxers/shorts on and I had underwear/jeans. He fingered me, in which case the jeans came off so I was down to my underwear but he was still fully clothed. I can't remember if I blew him right after or if we went back to grinding for a while but either way he still had his boxers/underwear on so it isn't a concern. Anyway after I blew him I think we just laid there for a bit, clothed, and then I probably went to the bathroom. It was all very run-of-the-mill same-shit-different-day never-gotten-me-pregnant before stuff.

I'm a very anxious person and I've gotten to the point of crying and feeling very pregnant and very hopeless every single month, but this month, I wasn't worried in the least! However... now I'm 3 days late. I'm accounting for the "latest possible day" I could be expecting it, which was Saturday. By Sunday night I had started the water works.. Monday was an absolute blur of being very, very scared and very, very teary. Today, Tuesday, I've sort of gotten a grip. I'm not pregnant, how could I be?

Then again, I'm pretty regular. My cycles vary by a day. Literally a day. It either comes Thursday or Friday, it only came on a Saturday last month because of the high emotional stress and weight loss. Being 3 days late for the first time, I can't come up with a good reason. My period has been there through thick and thin, there was nothing in this month I could reasonably see as something to make me late.

I'm going to test this Saturday if it hasn't come to just assure myself I'm not pregnant. I have this crazy scenarios I'm trying not to entertain such as "What if I had sperm on my hands and I wiped after using the bathroom?" or "What if when we cuddled some sperm got on my underwear?" Both of which make no sense, and aren't really risks anyway.

I mainly am just writing this to get support so I don't start crying again. I hate feeling this way. I had all the symptoms of getting it. I was hungry as hell the week before my expected period, I had sore boobs that have since gone away, and I broke out with some minor acne. However, it has yet to show up.

To summarize:
Is it at all possible that I might be pregnant? Maybe you see something in what we did that might be risky.

Do periods just come late for no reason at all? Could my cycle length be switching up, or could the emotional stress of last month be finally catching up?

I usually am around 105 lbs, but I have gone down to 101-100 lbs. I'm naturally skinny and my weight has never affected my period. I don't believe I'm "too thin" to stop getting my period, but do you think being 5'5 and 101 lbs could have something to do with it? I've been around 103-100 lbs for a few months now and they still came. Which is why I personally rule this one out.

Like I said before, I get very, very anxious. A lot of my friends are like me, heck, probably a lot of girls who aren't my friends are like me too! I've talked to my friends about how they were late, they freaked out, and it came anyway. I can only hope that's the case here. I'm baffled and scared and nervous. Thanks for your feed back. [Smile]

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Sam W
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Hi Wanderlust,

It sounds like you've already answered your own question about what the risk level of the stuff you engaged in is, so there's not anything I can add [Smile]

Periods can be late for many reasons, which you can read about here:

M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period?

I would also reccomend some self care to help you feel better:
Self-Care a La Carte

I would also advise you (and your friends) that if you're finding yourselves getting anxious after doing sexual stuff, then it is sound to scale back that behavior to a level where you feel more comfortable and aren't having anxiety whenever your period doesn't arrive when anticipated. If you'd like, we do have some info on that on the site as well

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Wanderlust45
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Thank you! I've read all those articles, and I have discussed stopping or scaling back. But month after month, no matter how convinced I was "this-is-the-end-I-am-pregnant", I would get my period. I figured that I should still do things I enjoy in the moment, since my anxiety is irrational. I thought perhaps overcoming my anxiety was really the issue, not scaling back.

However, come to think of it, if I hadn't hooked up with my sort-of-boyfriend this month, I wouldn't be worried at all. I'd simply relax and enjoy not having my period.

So, what I'm getting from the articles is that even regular cycles can go topsy turvy every now and again? I've also read on other health sites that it is normal for a woman to have a few late periods once or twice a year. I guess it's the body's way of switching things up?

I only started charting my periods in June, so I can't say for sure if I've ever been this late before. Like I said, I'm nervous. I feel as if a missing period can only mean one thing: pregnancy. [Frown]

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Sam W
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When you mention overcoming anxiety, how have you been doing so? Have you been getting mental healthcare as part of that process? I also think you might find this article helpful:
You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You think You Are?

Charting your cycles is a good idea, and you may want (if you haven't seen it before) give this article a read through about how to do it most effectively:
Get With the Flow: All About FAM

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Wanderlust45
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I don't have access to a free service to help me with my anxiety and irrational thinking. I know you guys can find some, so I'll go ahead and take the leap. You can use the area code 60014.

I love that article, I read it all the time. I'm not so much worried about pregnancy right now (that could change) but right now I'm more concerned about why my period is three days late. Having not had anything in this month to stress me out nearly enough to prevent a period, I'm not sure if there is something really wrong or if it's just a fluke..?

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Molias
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Like you read in the articles linked above, it's really common for period timing to fluctuate by a few days, and stress isn't the only thing that can impact this. It's much more common for people to have an average cycle length that varies a bit than to have a cycle of exactly the same number of days every month.
So, I think focusing on the exact timing of your period isn't going to be particularly helpful. Charting may be a good idea, so you can see what your overall pattern starts to look like after you have a few months' worth of data, but again: even if you find that you're fairly regular, having an irregular month, or even several in a row, really isn't a cause for concern on its own.

I'll look for counseling info in your area, but to start out: if you have a regular doctor you see, you could ask for a referral through them, and your school may have some options as well.

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Wanderlust45
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I got my period today! You were right. & I will look into counseling. Thank you again!
Posts: 8 | From: Chicago | Registered: Aug 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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