Donate Now
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » EXPERT ADVICE » Pregnancy Scares » Curious about a few things!

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Curious about a few things!
Yellow3121
Neophyte
Member # 108576

Icon 7 posted      Profile for Yellow3121     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hey y'all! I've been here before and I've read all of the articles, and I know that pregnancy from dry humping can not occur! I was just wondering. If my boyfriend was wearing boxer briefs and I was just wearing panties that were maybe a little bit loose but still kinda snug. Would I know if his penis had come out of the boxer briefs and around my panties and touched my genitals in any way? Or would it just feel like it normally does with clothes? I know it is probably ridiculous unlikely and I just finished my period so I guess I'll just have to wait it out.

I have really bad anxiety...I take medicine and I have a therapist, it's just hard for me to wait sometimes!

Thank you so so so much for all your help!

Posts: 24 | From: Colorado | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Molias
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 101745

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Molias     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Bare skin-on-skin contact does feel different than contact through clothes does. Think about touching your feet to someone else's when you're both wearing socks, and about touching bare feet together. It's pretty easy to tell the difference, right?
We can't know how attentive your mind was at the time or what you specifically would have noticed, though; I think this is the sort of question that someone who wasn't present can't answer.

Has your therapist given you some strategies you can use to calm down when you're particularly anxious or have to wait for something, like you are now? If they haven't, I think that would be a good thing to bring up in the future. Your therapist is going to be the most qualified person to help you learn how to manage these fears.

Also, did you send this question to our text service as well? We had something similar come through on that end tonight.

Posts: 1345 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Yellow3121
Neophyte
Member # 108576

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Yellow3121     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well. I ask because he was wearing boxer briefs, and I assume those would be pretty hard for anything to accidentally slip out of because of how they're designed...right?

Sorry about that! Yes I did ask over text but as soon as I sent it I figured that the message boards were probably a better place to ask questions like this. Sorry!

Posts: 24 | From: Colorado | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sam W
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 108189

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Sam W     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You're correct that they are pretty hard to slip out of. And, even if he had slipped out, you still had on underwear, which keeps you in the no risk category. But, as Molias said, only someone who was present could say whether or not he slipped out.

I also second the recommendation to ask your therapist for tips on how to keep calm when you're anxious and waiting. Those strategies can be really helpful in all sorts of situations.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Aug 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Yellow3121
Neophyte
Member # 108576

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Yellow3121     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Right! I have been able to calm down about this, and I am actually moving in the direction where the logical side of my brain is kicking in and saying "Wow. You are dumb." I just have one more question!

Why does touching bare genitals have the same risk of pregnancy as intercourse? I know that in order for sperm to get to an egg, it needs to be in the ejaculation fluid, so if there's no ejaculation fluid, how could the sperm get to the egg?

Posts: 24 | From: Colorado | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
When we list risks based on sexual activities, we have to account for what can occur during those activities.

Fluid-sharing can occur with both intercourse and direct genital-to-genital contact, but also may not occur with either of them, too (in other words, having intercourse doesn't mean someone will ejaculate, either). But it can, and often does, so we account for that. Make sense?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68236 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Yellow3121
Neophyte
Member # 108576

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Yellow3121     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yes it does! So if the shaft of someones penis made contact with a bare vulva for like .2 seconds there wouldn't be a pregnancy risk there right?

Sorry for so many questions, I just am trying to learn all I can so hopefully I don't have to come back in the future haha

Posts: 24 | From: Colorado | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sam W
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 108189

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Sam W     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Technically, because we weren't there, we can't say for certain if there was or was not a risk. But from what you've described, any risk sounds incredibly, incredibly minute.
Posts: 1292 | Registered: Aug 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Yellow3121
Neophyte
Member # 108576

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Yellow3121     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I know, and I'm not talking about me specifically! I'm just very confused. So what Heather said, when you say you have to talk about pregnancy risks and someone COULD ejaculate, if someone doesn't ejaculate is there a pregnancy risk? Sorry for all the questions
Posts: 24 | From: Colorado | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If someone doesn't ejaculate, there would not be no risk, because of pre-ejaculate which can sometimes pose pregnancy risks, but that risk would be way, way, way smaller than the risk if they did.

To get an idea of how small, withdrawal, as a method, when used perfectly -- meaning NO ejaculation, but probably pre-ejaculate since that happens when people have erections -- in one year is estimated to present about a 4% risk of pregnancy. But when people have unprotected intercourse with NO method, and we're including ejaculation, in one year the risk of pregnancy from doing that? Is 80-90%. See how big the difference is?

Obviously, unprotected intercourse or anything like it when you don't want to risk pregnancy or STIs is not wise. You clearly don't want to become pregnant, so moving forward, you'll want to not do things like you did, and have your boyfriend put a condom on, at least, if you two are going to have genital contact. However, there are things that pose much bigger risks. Does that make sense?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68236 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Yellow3121
Neophyte
Member # 108576

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Yellow3121     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yes, that makes sense, and I am really not even positive we had direct contact so. It's whatever! I'll stop worrying now!
Posts: 24 | From: Colorado | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3