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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Why Do I Want To Go Back? (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Why Do I Want To Go Back?
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I would try not to get hung up in shame with this. That does not help and support you.

I wonder if it might be helpful, instead, to think about what it keeps you from when you stay involved with this person. For example, staying so tied up in him, making him who you call for affirmation means you have less time and emotional real estate to invest in relationships with people who are not abusive and who you will have NO history of abuse with.

In other words, what if you think about what kind of life and relationships you want to make for yourself, and think very practically about that, knowing there is only so much room and time in a life for intimate relationships.

Honestly, the bigger issues of why you are having such a hard time letting go of an attachment to someone who has treated you poorly, especially if that is a pattern, those are things to bring to your therapist, as they will be a more ideal person to dig into that with.

But maybe this time you see her, you can see if she might block your number from this person with you? It seems like you need some in-person help with that, and that is someone who would likely be glad to help and know how to support you around doing that well.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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SinnamonShuga
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Thank you Heather. I will definitely take some time to think about these things and bring up these issues with my counselor.

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Kindest Regards,
SinnamonShuga

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SinnamonShuga
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Hi all. Just wanted to let you know that I finally blocked his number. I did it on my own about 2 weeks ago.

[ 04-03-2014, 10:44 PM: Message edited by: SinnamonShuga ]

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Kindest Regards,
SinnamonShuga

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Karybu
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That's so great! Go you.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Heather
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Sinnamon, I am so glad to hear that! Proud of you. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Sam W
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Yay! Right on, Sinnamon [Smile]
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SinnamonShuga
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Thank you everyone and thank you so much for your help! I'm proud of myself too! I know it's gonna be hard to deal with some of my issues, but I'm happy that I have made a big step towards being happy and healthy. [Smile]

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Kindest Regards,
SinnamonShuga

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Btw: http://www.scarleteen.com/cgi-bin/forum/ultimatebb.cgi?/ubb/get_topic/f/50/t/000143.html

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68215 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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