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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » resources to educate families of survivors

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Author Topic: resources to educate families of survivors
fluorite
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Hi,

Do you have any books that you would recommend for parents of people with PTSD or parents of survivors of intimate partner abuse?

Ideally books that might be well received by people who probably wouldn't consider themselves to be unsupportive, but who tend to brush things off as no big deal and aren't really good at listening.

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Heather
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I could build you a little list like that shortly, for sure.

If someone seems particularly unlikely to be supportive, though, I might instead suggest something shorter, like an info sheet or pamphlet. That is because someone who has made clear they aren't invested is probably not going to read more than a few pages on the subject, you know?

Let me know, I could gather resources either way.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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fluorite
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I don't know if they're not being supportive because they can't, or they don't want to be, or they think they are and are just really clueless.
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Heather
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As I understand it from our previous conversation, this is not a healthy family itself, yes? And there has been no awareness or effort from them made around that?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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fluorite
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I don't know. They have sought out information about both my siblings' mental health problems. There are lots of books on those subjects around their house. And they have talked to professionals about those issues as well. So I think they're capable of talking about tough stuff. Maybe they just don't know that 'getting a new girlfriend' is not the solution to having been in an abusive relationship. Then again, it's been almost three years and as far as I can tell they haven't sought out any information themselves. When I bring things up they get really uncomfortable, and when I had a conversation about them within the last week about a trigger (though I didn't use that word because I didn't have a ptsd diagnosis at the time) it was as though that conversation had never happened the next time I talked to them, three days later, and it was a Highly relevant conversation. I don't feel comfortable putting more details here but I may try to in the live chat.

I don't know how many more times I can try and share stuff with them if it's not going to be listened to. Which is why I thought books or something might help.

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Heather
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I understand how frustrating that kind of situation can be. I am sorry that you are in it.

I will make you a list of both books and pamphlets you can find online later today. Maybe you can just offer up any or all of them that feel good to you and just see what happens?

Mind, you can also ask for limits here, like asking them to please stop suggesting you get a new girlfriend. Obviously, who knows if they will respect them, but even just stating those limits, out loud, and clearly, lets you advocate for yourself.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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fluorite
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ok, thanks.
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Heather
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So, bookiwse, you might want to look at/share:
- When Someone You Love Suffers from Posttraumatic Stress: What to Expect and What You Can Do by Claudia Zayfert, PhD, Jason C. DeViva, PhD
- Shock Waves: A Practical Guide to Living with a Loved One's PTSD, by Cynthia Orange
- Trust After Trauma: A Guide to Relationships for Survivors and Those Who Love Them by Aphrodite T. Matsakis, PhD
- Intimate Partner Sexual Violence: A Multidisciplinary Guide to Improving Services and Support for Survivors of Rape and Abuse, by Louise MC-Ormond-Plummer, Patricia Easteal, and Jennifer Y. Levy-Peck

Per pamphlets/online info, maybe:
- http://ptsd.about.com/od/infoforfriendsfamily/a/PTSDfamily.htm
- http://ptsd.about.com/od/infoforfriendsfamily/a/PTSDfamily.htm
- http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/support-a-friend-or-family-member-experiencing-domestic-violence.aspx

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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