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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Rape? Sexual assault?

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Author Topic: Rape? Sexual assault?
jwel4
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Member # 61881

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In December, I started messing around with a friend of my ex. One day I invited him over to hang out and the next thing I know, we're on my bed making out. Things progressed between us until, over Christmas break, he told me that he wanted to lose his virginity to me (I'm not a virgin). I thought I was okay with it, but the more that we talked over break, the less enthusiastic I was about the idea because I was starting to have feelings for him. The night after I returned to my dorm after break (in Jan), he texted me asking if I wanted him to come over because he knows I don't like to be in my apartment alone.

When he got here, I found out he was drunk. We started to make out and our clothes were off, and he said to me, "You just want to have sex." I told him, "No...I don't know." We made out a while longer, and then he took me by the hips and pulled down me onto him and started having sex with me. I didn't want to, but the only thing I could say was that it hurt. I think I was partially in shock, I don't know.

I don't know if this would even be considered rape or sexual assault. I feel like it's partially my fault because he was drunk and I knowingly put myself into that situation. I did feel weird (emotionally) after this happened, but for some reason the reality of what happened is just starting to hit me right now. I'd really appreciate any insight or advice any of you have on what happened. Thanks so much

Posts: 1 | From: Missouri | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

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You very clearly said no, and he ignored that no: that's rape. And it is in no way your fault - you were clear about not wanting sex, he ignored that; that's all on him. You are not to blame for this at all.

That said, what do you need/want right now? How can we help you?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5722 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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